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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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dallassooz
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

Roe v Wade for MEN?????

OK, I've been here.....Found myself pregnant at 19 from a boyfriend I had been dating for 6 years.  I was on the pill but he didn't "wrap" it, and  the pill failed.  He walked away from me, wanted nothing to do with the child.  It became my choice and my choice alone, and I ended up going with adoption.  She's now with a great family and being taken care of by two loving parents.  However, if I chose to keep her at the time, I would have expected nothing of him.  I personally wouldn't have went after him for child support.  But I would have made him cut all ties and rights to the child too so there was no going backwards years down the road after I took the time to raise the child on my own.  You make the choice to walk away at birth, then sign away your rights, and keep walking.  She'll be better off without you!  

   

I do believe that if a man doesn't want a child, then yes, he should take his own precautions, no matter what the woman tells him.  I don't believe the laws should be equal to the womans rights, being that it is the woman's body that goes through the pain and the woman has to change her lifestyle for 9 months.  A man has his own resposibility in this situation.  A law equal to the one for woman is a lose - lose situation.  Dr. Phil was right, it will open a WHOLE NEW can of worms for the millions of deadbeat dads that are already out there.  

   

So I don't think the laws should change, but I think the women should have more thoughts about what they are doing when they know the man doesn't want a child.  If a woman is the only one to choose the situation to raise the child on her own and the father wants no part in raising the child, then I believe the woman should take on the responsibility on her own.  So I don't believe it should be a legal matter, it should be a woman's responsibility - so the woman need to wake up here and accept their choices....   

   

Heck, now I would love that choice!!!  I'm now 35, no kiddos, ex-husband, and all I want now is the child!!!  Where's the good "genes" that don't want the kids now????  :)  If I can't find the perfect man for me, I can search for the one to create the perfect baby and raise the child on my own!!   

   
 
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pattyc34
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

Fathers

I feel that if a man doesn't want to be a father he should either keep his pants on , use protection, or have an operation.It is part of the mans responsibility to take precautions not just the womans.Thank you ! pattyc34
 
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hhodge1104
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

MEN DON'T WANT TO BE DADDDY'S?

Well, the guy that was on the show today, has no case.  Use a condom or just abstain from sex all together.  Pregnancy happens sometimes unexpectadly for both the man and the women.  Also, to tell a women to put the baby up for adoption is just heartless. I would like to see a man carry a human being in there belly for nine months and then give it up.  The women that do that for the pure well being of the child are STRONG women.  I do not see this guys case getting any further than a laugh in court..... 
 
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danettenel
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

Similar Predicament

I am in the same predicament as the mother on today's show.  I am now pregnant for a man who was so hot for me just a few months ago.  Now he's saying that he wants nothing to do with this baby, and that the only way he will consider child support is if I have a paternity test.  I am willing to have the test (if only to shut his dumb mouth), but part of me is questioning the point of fighting with him, when he doesn't want the child! Do I really want to go through all of that stress, for a man who doesn't want to be involved?
 
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cmbisbee
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: al__ca

He should file suit against her for damages? because he had unprotected sex and has to pay child support? OK well then I hope that his DAUGHTER sues him for damages!! 

  

  

Amen to that one!  :D
 
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gimlet
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

HE HAS A POINT

HAS A FATHER OF 4 TWO OF MINE AND 2 STEP, I MADE THE CHOICE TO HAVE KIDS BUT MEN ARE NOT TREATED THE SAME AS WOMEN IN THE COURTS WE ALWAYS LOSE WHEN IT COMES TO THE KIDS THE WOMEN IS THE MOTHER SHE BRINGS THE BABY INTO THE WORLD SO THEY ON THE MOST PART GETS THE KID 99.9% OF THE TIME AN WE PAY AN I DID I ALSO SPENT TIME WITH MY BOYS AND STILL DO THERE IN THERE 20S NOW WITH KIDS OF THERE OWN AND THERE GOOD DADS ! WOMEN WANT 50/50 EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS THEY WILL LIE AND GET AWAY WITH IT IN THE COURT BECAUSE THERE WOMEN  I NEVER ONCE HIT MY EX SHE SAID I DID THEY BELIVED IT SHE SAID I WAS A DRUNK I HAVENT DRANK A DROP IN 20 YEARS IM ON SO MANY DRUGS FOR OTHER THINGS IT WOULD KILL ME!  BUT I LET HER HAVE HER BOY FRIEND NEVER SAID A WORD ! I FOUND A GAL THAT LOVES ME I LOVE HER AND WE GET ALONG NOW JUST FINE !     BUT I HAVE TO GO WITH THE KID ON THIS ONE DR PHIL      NOT MANY TIMES I DO BUT THIS TIME   HES   RIGHT ON THE BUTTON TO BAD FOR THE BABY MY WIFE WILL TAKE HER WE RAISED TWO GIRLS THERE OUT OF THE NEST NOW TOO .
 
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danjahzone
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

Rights?!?!? Are they equal?!?!?

I am all woman.  100% and beyond.  But I  believe that men have rights too.  Me and a female friend on mine are sitting here watching the show and honestly can't believe some of the things that are being said.  I am all for people taking responsiblity for their actions.  But when she, out of her own mouth, told him that she was on the pil and that she COULD NOT get pregnant.  That lessens some of the responsibility on him.  They had the 'child discussion' up front in the beginning of their relationship.  She knew where he stood.  Now, what they should have done, was taken that conversation one step further.  They should have discussed what would happen 'IF' she got pregnant.  But even further than that.  People lie all the time, and what he should have done was made sure that he was always strapped when they had intercourse that way he would have never been put into a situation like he is currently in.  
 
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kimmyk73

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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

People just need to grow up ( IF YOU DON'T WANT KIDS DON'T HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(  IF YOU DON'T WANT KIDS DON'T HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!) It never ceses to amaze me that people just do what they want whatever feels good for them and not ever think about what could or might happen. This is why that Jesus wrote in the Bible that there is to be NO!!!!!!!!!!! sex till you are married ( and you are to stay married) ( not just bail because things arn't going your way). I woud also like to add that it sounds like a miracle baby to me. If she said that she couldn't get pregnat and was on the pill. There is a reason that this child is here. Having said that. We all will be held accountable for our action including this selfish act of Matt. this child is here like it or not. There are many times this has happen to the woman she didn't want to get pregnat and wiether the guy lied or not has gotten that way and she has to deal. Well he needs to deal that is what being a grown up is all about. We have to do things that we just don't like or want to do. I feel really bad for this child wo will see this and know that her father didn't want her. He is so busy trying to make a point and get "the principal" across that he has become very cold and hateful and I would hope that no woman would ever marry him or even sleep with this "boy" and that he never reproduce ever again he doesn't deserve it. I hope that he hits his knees and begs God for forgiveness then does the same with the mother of his child. (  IF YOU DON'T WANT KIDS DON'T HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!) 
 
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kaykwilts
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: barbborak

how dare he think that just because he didn't want this baby it makes him not responsable for this child! Mens rights my foot!!!! If you don't want a baby KEEP YOUR PANTS ON! That is the only way to ensure their will be no child. I'am a child of adoption. My entire life I wondered why my parents didn't want me why I wasn't good enough but their other kids were. I still had a wonderful childhood, but now that I have children do you have any idea how hard it is to explain to them the truth?! Grow up. The chioce to have sex was just as much hers and it was yours, you new the risk you took. Be a man, take care of your baby. This has nothing to do with rights it has to do with the fact you still want to be a child yourself. People like you do not deserve oxygen!!!!!! Do not put this baby through anymore then she is already going to go through.
I complete agree.  If Matt didn't want kids he should keep it in his pants.  I think any woman considering marrying this creep should be very leary of marrying him. 
 
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joyfuller
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April 21, 2006, 1:59 pm PDT

I agree

Quote From: alleyg

Sex is fun, and sex makes babies. If you are really opposed to having children, then you should not be having sex.   

   

Yes, women have alot of power. We put out or not. We abort or not. I understand how that can seem terribly unfair. But here's the flip side. We carry the baby. We loose bone and blood for them We sit up at night while they cry. We take lesser jobs so we can spend time with them.   

   

Men do none of these things. I have been in a situation where I was on the pill and got pregnant anyhow. I chose to keep my son, how could i not, the creator himself chose me to raise him. I was young and poor and had to take state health insurance (medicaid).   

   

To get the medicaide,  I had to tell who the father was, even though he didn't want anything to do with us. I know for a fact that he has a support order against him that he isn't paying.   

   

BUT THAT ISN"T THE POINT  

   

The point is what is best for the baby. I have a child, that fact alters my life permanetly, If the guy has to pay a little child support, then so be it. But if he was so opposed to being a father, he should have gotten himself fixed. Its a quick and easy operation done in an out patient setting.  

I totaly agree with you and am in the same situation. The father isn't by chance Jeremy Burker is he? I know there are tons of us out there with the same story. The state of Virginia only hekps but so much in finding these dads. with my case, they closed it because after a year of sending letters to his Mom's address they couldn't find him. So, I get to raise my son by myself, with very little help from the State, no help from Jeremy, and all of the questions my Jacob will have when he's older.
 
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