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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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maebmij
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April 21, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT

Matt get real

Well here we have another person that does not want to take responsibility for there actions. For Matt to claim he has not right in this situation is bull. He had a choice to put on protection, he had the choice of taking matters in his own hand (if you know what I mean) and he has the choice of surgery. I do not care what the women told him about not being able to have children or what Matt told her about not being ready to be a father, it is still you (Matt) that planted the seed and it is your responsibility to see that no seed gets planted. Having SEX is a choice in life: NOT a requirement of life. Matt is another example of what America has become in our courts "ITS NOT MY FAULT" attitude to get out of taking responsibility for our own actions. Before anyone thinks this is a female point of view, I am a 46 year old male that has raised 2 sons (age 23 & 20) and sick of seeing all these irresponsible males turning there backs on their own children. If you do not want or can't afford a child, then stop doing what it takes to make one. (HAVING SEX IS A CHOICE ** NOT A RIGHT**). Matt be glad I am not on the jury, because you would pay. GET REAL YOU BIG BABY
 
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geo5char
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April 21, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: gaga1936

I am so tired of women jerking men around by their ******, using an innocent child as leveridge and using the bleeding heart courts as whipping posts.   

  

If a women wants to be a parent she needs to be able to support that child or children on her own.   

  

Who is she going to get child support from if he dies with no life insurance?   

  

I am a woman, a mother of 2 grown, successful children.  I was married when they were born but divorced soon after.   

  

AND I NEVER ASK FOR SUPPORT.  

  

 I did not want to answer to any one for the way I raised my children. I think one secure, confident, at peace with their place in the world parent, is better than two immature, spitful, vendictive people.   

I am so there with you! What would these women do if they couldn't bleed the money from these men. I raised two children on my own for 12 years and they never went with out. My mother always said, "If you can't afford to raise them on your own (without childsupport and welfare) then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place."
 
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foxygranny
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April 21, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT

MATT NEEDS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

MATT MADE THE UNCONSIOUS DECISION TO BECOME A FATHER WHEN HE CHOSE TO HAVE SEX.  THERE IS ALWAYS THAT POSSIBILITY!!!  HE NEEDS TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE, BE A MAN AND FINANCIALLY SUPPORT HIS DAUGHTER.  IF HE CHOOSES NOT TO BE A PART OF HER LIFE, THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE IN HER BEST INTEREST SINCE HE DEFINITELY WOULD NOT BE AN ACCEPTABLE ROLE MODEL IN HER LIFE.
 
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xaviersada
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April 21, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT

same problem; different people

 I am having a similar problem with my current boyfriend.  He claimed that he was infertile (.01%), which for  all extensive purposes was probably true, and we had talked amongst our informal wedding plans and extended future talks, about what we would do if we did get pregnant.  Well, it happened, condoms and spermicide a majority of the time didn't help.  He isn't taking it at all well.  Neither of us wanted children; I wanted to adopt an older child in a few years, but I am 30 and he is 35 and I feel that things happen for a reason.  We are having a hard time getting through the mood swings and emotional changes...If we decide that this relationship can't handle this stress, then I will most likely leave, but I wouldn't want child support from someone who so obviously is set against having this child.  How do you explain to a child that they are unwanted.  I was an unplanned child, and I resent my father now that I know he didn't want me.  Ironically, after all of the problems in our relationship, my father is happy to be finally getting a grandchild.  My boyfriend's family still doesn't know, and I just started my second trimester.  How do I get it through to him that maybe his family will be supportive of this, which I think would make him feel more secure as well?
 
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rianant310
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April 21, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT

The Choice is whether to have sex or not

Matt (and his girlfriend) are suffering from the same mistake many people make--the choice in having a child is not whether you want to abort, adopt, or abandon.  The choice is whether you should have sex or not.  To put it in simple terms:  If you do not want to be a parent, don't have sex.  We all know there is no 100% method of contraception except abstinence.  I am not a religious fanatic; I am not a moralist; I am not a fundamentalist.  To me, the choice of parenthood comes down to one simple thing...when you decide to have sex, you are saying (implicitely) that you are both willing and able to deal with the consequences (whether the consequences are an STD or a baby).  SIMPLE. 
 
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jerryp
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April 21, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT

When ducks fly!

Quote From: lillskr

(Looks at how many men have given birth and nursed throughout the years, looks at anatomy picture for man's uterus).  I don't think that' s even possible.  Sorry, had to say that   :)  Being funny   :D  

  

  

Oh Spare me!  how quaint.....  no real thought put into your response.... 

I might just as well reply with the line 

  

When ducks fly! 
 
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mrslacy
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April 21, 2006, 2:07 pm PDT

not man enuf to take responsibility for his actions

Quote From: dilea0139

If he really believes what he says then it goes both ways...he does not have the right to tell her what to do with the child. He had sex with her and if you play you have to accept the consequences no matter what you are doing. Birth control has been proven not to be 100% and he knew that going in. How dare him try to get out of his responsibility by trying to plead ignorance. I am sure he enjoyed participating but now he doesn't want to accept the outcome. That is the problem with kids now a days, they don't take any responsibility for their actions. 

I can hardly express my anger for his arrogance.  I could write VOLUMES about this but let's look at it in a different context: 

  

When did society accept that we no longer have to take responsibility for our actions? 

  

If he were drinking and enjoying himself and got in the car and killed someone, would he be held responsible?  YES!  But wait, he didn't begin drinking with the INTENT of killing someone - he only wanted to have a good time.  So by his definition, he shouldn't be held responsible!  He had consensual sex WITHOUT the intent of creating life - yet it happened.  According to him, he should not be held accountable for the result of his pleasure.  HOW is that any different from taking a life? 

  

A virtue is a virtue is a virtue.  He has NONE.  What a slug and same goes for the 2 sitting next to him. 
 
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katy_brown
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April 21, 2006, 2:07 pm PDT

Baby Wars

I'm am appalled at the calousness of this Matt.  If he was so adamant that he did not want to be a father then he should have kept it in his pants.  As a Christian I of course believe that abstinence  

is the answer until you marry and are ready for a committed relationship.  I love your show.  You are like a drug that you just can't do without.  Please keep up your stand on these kinds of issues.  
 
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redzzzz
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April 21, 2006, 2:07 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: redzzzz

I dont want to alarm anyone, but there maybe a reason for the babies out there that dont sleep.  My son is 51/2 and still gets 3AM feedings. He was diagnosed with Glycogen Storage Disease III when he had his 1 year check up. Dr noticed his liver being enlarged (pot bellied) Which is a metabolic disorder where he cant release his own stored blood sugar, so he MUST eat every 3-4 hours or he may  (will) die. This is a rare genetic disorder, that he inherited from myself and his father(we are just carriers) and you have to have both parents as carriers. Thankfully he refused  the pacifier by himself at 2 months and having twins 18 years earlier gave me the instinct to continue the 3 hour feeding routine. He is doing very well as long as he eats. He does realize now that he has to eat frequently and get his sugar from ANYTHING that HE WANTS to EAT which is kinda cool. So everone please dont rule out that there maybe a reason for the waking up and not sleeping through the night and have your child tested for LOW BLOOD SUGAR !!

Dr Phil these shows about whether your child will sleep and eat at our demand and convienience, can be harming their health....dont automatically assume that they are being munipulitive and the parents need to pull-up  
 
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rand1_50
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April 21, 2006, 2:07 pm PDT

Get Real

I have heard a lot so excuses for wanting to get out of paying child support, but this story takes the cake. Anytime you have sex you have to pay for the consequenses.If you don't want to be a dad, don't have sex. And the lawyer an activest need to move on and quit jamming the courts with stupid cases like this.
 
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