Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

Matt

My son just had the exact same thing happen to him, only I raised a MAN....his girlfriend was told by several doctors, due to scar tissue on her tubes, she could never get pregnant. Well, in February 2006, we welcomed Kailie Marie. My son was not happy about the pregnancy, and yes, he stressed over, was mad at her for it, but he took responsibility for the fact he didn't wear a condom. Matt made his choice that the possibilty could happen, when he chose to act reckless and have un-protected sex. I hope this case looses in court, because every man out there, will come up with this weak excuse, when comdoms are for men to use. I'm sorry, women....don't have penis's. His baby is beautiful, and I am happy his ex-girlfriend chose to keep her, and I am very proud to have the son I do. Thank the Lord!
 
User Mood
Worried

Message Emote
frustrated
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

Baby War

Quote From: britt510

I am very shocked at what I heard from this man about not wanting his child. I am pregnant, and I would be completly crushed if the father of my child, whether he was my husband, boyfriend, even just a guy friend didn't want to have anything to do with our child. I see his point about the equal rights, and he seemed like a nice man, but how could anyone evil or not, want nothing to do with something that is a part of them. A child is a wonderful gift to me.  

 OK...Young ladies (w/o HUSBANDS) watch out. If you decide to have unprotected sex w/boyfriends ,lovers and/or married men and get pregnant and the court approves this law, you better get a full time job, get a skill and be prepared to support your child on your own for the next 18 (sometimes more) years.
Maybe this will be a good thing. Young women will have to think twice before jumping into bed and  think about the consequences. Now they know that they can bring the baby's daddy to court for child suppose.
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

What do you think about my case

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

 
User Mood
Cheerful

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

Responsibility

"Matt" on today's show should have taken FULL RESPONSIBILITY and worn not one, but TWO CONDOMS EVERY TIME HE HAD SEX.  His choice not to do so does not absolve him from the responsibility of the child he helped to create, even if it was an accident.  I believe that he is angry at himself for getting into this situation and needs to step up to the plate and support this child.  Like it or not, it is his flesh and blood.  The young woman's statement sounds very mature and responsible.  Matt's choice to engage in sexual relations opens him up to the consequences of his own actions.
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

Men's Rights

I became a single parent in 1976 while in the Marine Corp stationed in California.  None of this is the child's fault, the fault lies with the man and woman having sex while not being married and in a committed relationship.  With that having been said, I agree that things are a bit lopsided regarding choices.  Women can choose to have unprotected sex, then decide whether to keep the child or not choosing adoption,  abortion, or even the morning after pill.  Many times, the father has stated that he " wanted " the baby,  but it is the mother's choice because it is her body.  What about the father's right to keep his child ?   Dr Phil, you missed it in this case.  This is not about "  what about the Child ." ( Even though the child gets hurt either way )  The young man in this case is simply saying that he should have the same right to the same choices that the mother has.  If he desires to " keep " his baby, then the mother should be made to carry the child to term, instead of using the excuse " it's my body " to get rid of a mistake she (they ) made.  The point is that both parties should have the same rights going in to the decision to have sex, even if that decision is morally wrong.  Why should the women be allowed to abort the baby based on the fact that it is her body when and if the man wants the child ?  Maybe if we practiced and preached abstinance until marriage, we as a society would not being asking all these hard questions, but then that would require putting God back in our hearts, lives, and our schools.  Have we noticed yet, that when we took God out, we began to see more and more bad decisions being made......is there a connection ?    Duh
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

baby wars and men being badies about them

In the history of humankind, men still have not learned to take responsibility for their actions. 

Babies happen. If a female has a pulse, she can get pregnant. Every woman knows a story of some impossible pregnancy. Why don't MEN know this? What do they talk about in those locker rooms and health classes, really? Our cleaning lady got pregnant with only one partial ovary and no uterus....  Men who seriously don't want children cannot expect a free ride: literally! Have a vaectomy! Wear a condom everytime...make it clear this is your statement. Chances are this lad will fall into other traps. Perhaps once he IS ready, his beloved can't have children, or they, heaven forbid lose a wanted child. Then what does baby Elizabeth mean to him? No female, especially ones who have been led to believe they cannot conceive ever knows how she will feel about an unexpected pregnancy. That  choice in such women is stronger than any life predication could imagine had she been on a normal fertile life path.  Men believe what they want to believe...and a hard on has no conscience. 

No condom? No vasecetomy? Hah!  That puts the BALL in her court..you've left it to the female and her information. Sex is for procreation FIRST...recreation is a syndrome of the times.....but sex was  

meant to do exactly what it did do.You did the deed you silly man....this I want I want take you have on it means you should have done it alone.  Silly wabbit! 

 

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:45 pm PDT

Get over it girls

 We have ALL the choices, and that is fundamentally unfair.  Interestingly, Dr. Phil told the next couple (where the husband wanted a 5th child and the wife did not) that a decision like this takes 2 yesses and one "no" to cancel the idea.  I bet a lot of you were applauding that too.  Think it through...the reason for Roe v. Wade was that a woman could not be FORCED to have a child. Why is it different for men?  Do you all want a monthly check, or a partner in raising a happy, well adjusted child?

Dr. Phil, you need to be more fair.  Consider your own fundamental contradiction on this issue.  I will tell you that I am 44, the mother of 3 beautiful healthy kids and married for 18 years to their father.  I remain enormously conflicted about the issue of abortion, and the only thing that stops me from being 100% pro-life is my experience as a mother.  You cannot force anyone, male or female, to be a parent and expect good results.  Just my two cents, but I wish my fellow females would let go of some of the bitterness and resentment I'm reading here long enough to see the unfairness of forcing men to pay for 21 years because one half of the relationship made a decision in which he has ABSOLUTELY no say, legally ,for what was a momentary lapse in judgement or so called failure of birth control.  Same thing could have happened if she "forgot" her pill or the condom failed.  Not to mention the obvious fact that the girls can keep their legs closed too.  It is morally and ethically an unsustainable argument to say the mom gets all the power...not to mention the complete absence of logic and fairness.


 
User Mood
Cranky

Message Emote
frustrated
April 21, 2006, 2:46 pm PDT

This is pathetic

I am sorry.....Dr. Phil is a shill for feminist cause. Yes he does call women to the mat, but only when it is obvious that she is wrong. Otherwise, he promotes the feminist agenda. Look at this debate. What is wrong with men having a equal say, when it comes to reproductive rights? OH.....I FORGOT!!!! That argument only belongs to feminists!!!!!  

  

When it doesn't go along with women's plans, the woman, can murder a healthy human being. However, when a man says, it doesn't go along with his plans, he is still liable for financial, social, and moral responsibilities for a human being. Can somebody say hypocrit?? 

  

I believe Mr. Dubay is a hero for bringing men's rights to the forefront, rather than the old tired feminist propoganda.  

 
User Mood
Distressed

Message Emote
frustrated
April 21, 2006, 2:46 pm PDT

Getting Out of Fatherhood

I think it's WAY PAST TIME to hold men accountable for their behavior, rather than brushing it off as "well, he's a guy," or "boys will be boys."  Matt should be made to support HIS child since he was "on the matt" (pardon the pun) so to speak ,at the conception!  Sorry, but he doesn't get to have it both ways.  I can spread my seed all over the place and I can then re-adjust my thinking or re-articulate what I REALLY meant when all he really meant was to have sex at no cost!  ABSURD!  The attorney representing him is a buffoon who is thinking about his pocket rather than the child. 

  

IN BOTH CASES, THESE MEN ARE DEALING "BELOW THE BELT."  THEY ARE NOT DEALING WITH THIS FROM THE WASTE UP. 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:46 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

i don't understand how this guy feels that he doesn't have to pay child support, when he didn't even use a condom.  she was doing her part by using birth control, why didn't he use a form of birth control also. does he feel that it is all up to her to protect herself from getting pregnant cause he doesn't want a baby? i think it is ridiculous, if he really didn't want  a child he would should have been more responsible and put on a condom, even if she was on b.c., nothing is 100% but 2 methods of b.c. works better than one!
 
First | Prev | 195 | 196 | 197 | 198 | 199 | 200 | 201 | 202 | 203 | 204 | Next | Last