Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

So where is everyone, now that we've got a shiny new board to play with?  Come out, come out where ever you are!!  LOL

Tried to log in last night but couldn't for whatever reasons but all is well and here I am. This board is gonna take some time to get used to but not too bad at the moment. I suppose a little change doesn't hurt from time to time though I am one that doesn't like change too much, just happy as can be with the way things are. Hope every one is well and enjoying the hot summer. Life is good here and hope to hear from you all soon.

hey poetmom, I guess I should have placed my message under yours instead of above it, good grief, this is gonna take some time for my brain to get this under control. :)

just overlook me here people, I am a bit confused with the new system here, I am definetly a little frazzled. LOL Any one out there? I amn ot usually on this thing on the weekend but I guess I am just a little anxious about this new set up. :) Have a great day everyone

Apparently the messages run from the bottom of the page to the top...which I don't like, but guess I will have to get used to it. Change is good for us, right?  :)

If you go to your profile, down to the bottom where it says Message Board settings or something like that, and change order from newest to oldest, then you get the oldest ones first, just like the old board!!!!!   Now I'm a happy poster again!!!!   LOL

 

 

Teresa

Okay..here is my two-cents worth. I am a believer of spanking....not beating...just a good old fashioned "pop on the rear"....just the rear! And I say, never, never spank when you are angry!

My dear Mother raised 9 children...and she spanked, with a keen little switch, (which she made us "youngins" go get from the yard"..LOL), but you know what...I am 52 years old, and I do not remember getting too many "switchings"...I told my Mom this one day, and she said that she did not have to spank us that much, because she did it right the first time...and I don't ever recall her raising her voice at us either...THAT drives me crazy when I hear a Mom or a Dad screaming at the top of their lungs at their children...that is abuse to me....and those that tell their children.."Wait till I get you home"...or another one I hear all the time.." Wait until your Dad gets home"!!!!!

Ok...that's all I have to say about that.

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it.  :)

 

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

discipline is something all of us need in life, it is something that is needed to keep us on the right track. discipline for children is about teaching and guiding them into learning right from wrong, learning to make good choices and helping them become good and productive adults. All of us as parents have differnet views and experiences and what works for one child may not work for another, whether a parent spanks or not should not be the determining factor on whether we think a parent is a good parent or not, but looking at the children and seeing what is being accomplished with them, in their attitudes, their behaviors, their relationships with their parents/family and how they treat others can be keys in determining how a parent is doing with their child but at the same time realizing that children are not alike and some are harder then others to discipline and in that case, chances are the parent has not sought out the "right" discipline for that child. I think some people are too quick to judge becasue they do not agree with a technique. I personally do not have a problem with spanking as I have spanked on a few occasions, a swat on the diaper, but for the most part, I have found that rediercting, taking something away for a period of time (for my four year old, she loses priveleges), and communication and consistency is definetly imporant keys in disciplining our children. children need to know what they did wrong and why they are being disciplined. My four year old always knows these things and though she will throw a temper cause she has lost a privelege, she knows it is a waste of time that I am not gonna give in. Lucky for me, I have two easy kids who do not require too much discipline but they do know that the boundaries are not meant to be crossed, my two year old is a little harder but catching on. :) There are many resources out there to help parents and it is too bad that there are many not seeking out those resources, none of us are perfect but it is possible to raise good productive kids into becoming great adults, it isn't a matter of whether you spank or not, it is a matter of knowing your child and seeking out what will help them to grow and to mature and for myself personally, I am not afraid to change my technique if needed. We need to ask our selves if what we are doing is helping our kids, if it isn't then something is wrong. I know people who came from both sides of the issues and those with good loving parents who had the children's interests as a top priority, are great productive loving adults, some have fallen through the cracks of very bad parenting, some were spanked and some were not. definetly working in the inner city with all classes of people have opened my eyes when it comes to parenting. And of course there are always exceptions......(some kids who grow up in great loving homes end up on the other side as well as some who come from abusive situations come out on the good end of things which I am a good example of that). I believe I personally am a good parent as well as my husabnd, not perfect but we are content with the way things are going in our house hold, and every one is happy and easy to live with.