Topic : 07/28 When Sexual Styles Don't Match

Most people do not think LONG AND HARD about having sex...b/c MOST PEOPLE are having sex in their early teens.  Comparting risky sex with driving to the movies is CRAZY.  There is no comparison.  I am curious if my haters are males or females?  I have rarely met any women who will say that sex has no emotional damage,,,which in many ways is far worse than  physical damage.  I expect guys to say that sex is "risky like swimming"...but what they don't understand is the emotional connection sex creates whether they want it or not.

Sure, sex is a wonderful gift to human-kind.  I am also a Christian woman - but acknowledge you are an atheist.  You ask for proof of such "myths" as disease, abortion, depression, neglect, drug-use, divorce, and adultery being so rampant in our current society.  Just the way males and females are made should be a clue.  Some sex styles are dangerous to physical health.  (Anal-sex.)  I mean, that's where feces are eliminated.  I would not wish to mingle my own sex organs with that area - simply because there would be unsanitary exposure to all kinds of foul elements and germs.  (Nor would I want to engage in sex with a man who has done that.)  Even if a person cleans out the area as well as possible, there are some organisms unseen or detected.  So I have avoided this kind of sex - not out of being fear-mongered, but for plain common sense and to protect my own health.  I have experienced yeast and bladder infections before - these are NOT STDs, but can be caused by a common cold virus or not drinking enough water.  They were bad enough!  So I would not be anxious to risk picking up any kind of STD either!  I know both homosexual and heterosexual couples engage in anal-sex.  It is a principal way for same-sex men couples to relate.  But as a Christian, when I also read that God detests that, it reinforces the fact that anal-sex is NOT for the human body.  Therefore, I have to agree that same-sex relations are not OK.  (This does NOT make me prejudiced against same-sex couples, nor would I refuse to talk to or do business with them.)    Of course this argument only involves males.  I also agree that females are subject to risks too because God does NOT want any unions except between man and woman.  He designed us in a special way.  But I don't expect you to go along with that.  It should be obvious enough how we are designed whether you believe in God or not.  You cannot dismiss, though, that disease is rampant and really got out hand when same-sex couples came out in the '80s.

You can choose to blow me off and say I am also a fear-monger.  With or without God being brought into it, our bodies are not designed for that kind of sex.  When it is engaged, germs and organisms spread and result in terrible diseases.  That's plain fact to me.  Believing in God or not, it is a dirty and unsafe act.  Is that any kind of proof for you?

Marriage is a commitment.  You're right - a piece of paper does not keep people from becoming disenchanted with each other enough to cheat or divorce.  When children are brought into the world, they need a strong support and care system.  Marriage is designed to provide this.  Of course you and I will disagree on what constitutes a marriage nowadays.  Life can be created only between man and woman.  So, when a heterosexual couple produces children, then what?  If they are married there is some kind of commitment involved.  Of course that commitment can be broken if someone feels like it - but is that really OK?  Then one parent is left to deal with the kid(s) alone - and that creates new problems and struggles.  This also leads to unsupervised periods and kids can get into trouble - like drugs, sex, crime, the possibilities are endless.

Just because sex feels so good is not an excuse to use it so irresponsibly.  Girls casually get pregnant and then seek an abortion to end it.  Or girls just don't know how to say "NO".   And guys are very good at persuading girls to have sex outside of marriage.   Nothing is as sweet as forbidden fruit.  When multiple partners are involved (as is SO popular), that creates lots of risk for someone to transmit an STD.  Some of the partners may be clean and disease-free.  But others have picked up undetected germs or organisms and pass them on!  Creating human life should be avoided altogether until a couple can become commited enough to raise children together.  That's the argument for abstinence.  And it is also God's plan for us.  A marriage license is a symbol that reminds the couple of the lifetime commitment to each other and their future family.

I'm not trying to come across as a panic-instigator - just stating some pure and simple facts.  This may not be enough evidence for you, and no one may be able to prove anything to your satisfaction.  I just wanted to join the discussion.

First, sorry for mispelling your user name.

Well, I read your reply.  I do appreciate you taking time to comment.  No, I do not have evidence for everything I said - but I do have some experience.

Do you have an evidence of this?

I do know that kids who are left alone much of the afternoon and early evening every day have the potential to go out and do what they want and sneak back home before their parent(s) gets home.  I saw kids my own age doing that during my teen years.  It did increase in my own observations.  I myself, went down hill when I entered a sexual relationship at 22 and wasn't married.  I was still living at home and put things over on my mom all the time.  Fortunately I didn't become pregnant and broke it off in 4 years.  (During that time I got full-time employment, moved out and supported myself in an apartment.)  But I went downhill during it!  I stopped taking care of myself, became anorexic, and nearly got into serious trouble.  At least I had money and my own place.  Most teens of today do NOT have money or the resources to take care of themselves - let alone a baby.  And why should parents have to spend their golden years constantly providing financial support plus room & board  to adult children (or children who behave like adults sexually) who don't think before they leap?  I also agree with hitechgirl that teens are not emotionally or fiscally ready to deal with the results of their having sexual unions. 

If someone PLANS to parent a child alone that doesn't cause problems. 

OK, sometimes a person decides to raise a child alone, and that is their choice to be sure.  But in some cases, a person enters a relationship trusting and counting upon their spouse or mate to support them when a child does come along.  I don't need evidence to see the news and people talking on shows everyday - distraught that they were left alone with young children and no help (that they counted on).  What's wrong with people counting on each other to see things through?  Emotions are going to come up in that area of trusting and loving.  I just don't see how you can dismiss it.  It's not a crime to love someone enough to desire a life-long commitment from him/her.  I think people need to be VERY careful not to become vulnerable if they cannot take it when they are deserted.

Wrong, life can only be created by a male sperm and a female egg. The sex act is not required, love is not required between a man and a woman.

Hmm.  The male sperm is only in men and female eggs are only in women - do we agree  or have I got that backwards?  Can you clarify what else other than artificial insemination can produce children other than classic hetero-sex?

Our bodies were not "designed" in my opinion. And there is plenty of evidence to back that opinion up. . . .On a side note, why did god design our sex organs to be so closely related and near where we eliminate waste? Not very a intelligent design.)

Ahh, but my life is a testimony that sticking to traditional sex style and a monogomous relationship has perserved my sexual health and protected me from STDs.  I am STD-free and have been free from the worry that goes along with it.

If someone PLANS to parent a child alone that doesn't cause problems.  And once again, marriage doesn't protect people from having broken homes, abuse or neglect. Married people haven't cornered the market on happiness.

Of course, not.  Marriage is a commitment and this requires hard work and dedication.

Giving birth each time changed me physically and psychologically.  I really cannot help that - except to try and cope.  Without my husband of 22 years, I most likely would have fallen apart.  Of course, I would have coped just like every other person in such a position.  But not every person has the family or financial support necessary to get through that. 

I will be re-reading your comments in case I misquoted or missed something.  I really do appreciate having something to do like talk about this.  You make a very good point about sex-education and teaching about condoms.  But the moral issues and divine creation/design - we'll never agree on.

Most people do not think LONG AND HARD about having sex...b/c MOST PEOPLE are having sex in their early teens.  Comparting risky sex with driving to the movies is CRAZY.  There is no comparison.  I am curious if my haters are males or females?  I have rarely met any women who will say that sex has no emotional damage,,,which in many ways is far worse than  physical damage.  I expect guys to say that sex is "risky like swimming"...but what they don't understand is the emotional connection sex creates whether they want it or not.