Topic : 08/09 A Mother's Rage

   I would like to make 2 points :    

   I was so disturbed when that horrid mother was terrorizing and beating her son that I had to leave the room shaking and crying. But what angered me most was the husband looking all innocent and pretending to be unknowing. Of course he knows! And then they talked about the 'stick' and getting kicked - good, some of that 'good guy' facade was lifted. What kind of a father brings home a stick to 'scare' his kids? What kind of a man makes that a joke? Or did he tell his buddies how 'bad' his kids were? Either way, he is colluding with this wife in child abuse. Kicking a child is not bad!? I feel he is more at fault then he 'meekly' let on. Of the men whom I know that are fathers, if they saw the kind of video that Dr. Phil showed, about their wife and children, they would have been very upset or angry. This father appears more concerned about appearing 'innocent' - protecting himself, not concerned for the kids. That, to me was not a caring father reaction.    

   Second is I believe that the mother wrote to Dr. Phil because she was scared of seriuosly hurting one of her children, probably that poor 10-year-old boy. But I think she was afraid of what might happen to herself, not to her children. She is worried about going to jail, losing her freedom. She makes them not tell so as not to ruin her reputation, or to have the police over. That sure isn't about the kids!!!     

   Dr. Phil - PLEASE keep a close eye on these kids. Having spent a childhood not unlike this (I escaped out the window at 16) - I know they aren't telling all yet. And they don't quite believe that anything can change it. Please don't let them down. That boy's pleading with that selfish brute of a mother broke my heart.   

   

Today's show was very hard to watch but I believe a show like this needed to be done to help others watching at home. I grew up with a father who was physically and verbally abusive. I would have ran away from home if it had been "the thing to do" back in the 50 & 60's. I was lucky I had a wonderful and loving mother and grandma who were my roll models in life but having a father like I did made me make bad choices in men when I grew up. I had several failed marriages because of this, but 3 beautiful children that I made sure never heard a degrading word or slap or belt. It's hard to break the cycle of abuse so I can only pray that Dr. Phil's show is able to reach others lives as well as the couple he had on the show today.  I do wonder if someone has been contacted in their home town that will make sure these children are not left alone with their mother. No child should have to live like those children. Thank you for the show, as serious as it was, I think it was needed.

I 'm sitting here on my couch balling my eyes out right.i'am 31 yrs olds and my life just flashed before my eyes when i saw this show, i know you heard this before but that was me, my father was the same we had a yard stick, it stoped when it kept breaking into pcs, the yelling the put downs the favoritism i was always grounded for some stupid reason or another.My mother was not the same, she was the opposite, we went to her for shelter and comfort.and i love her for that. i just heard the boy say that when he wakes up he's already scared to start the day,i bet they know what kind of mood she's in even before they get home  or the opposite when she gets home, we knew were to be, as soon as he touched the door handle to come inside.Iknow the feeeling kid. The worst ever is when he hit us -i had sisters but i got it the worst, i also was a jumpy kid always flinching around dad always wondering whats next,always wondering if i was following his rules. i could go for  hours just remmembering and crying,and comparing how close we are kids.besides the 20yrs differance all i know is your in good hands with dr phil, and i wish i had someone like him 20yrs ago. you hang in there now . people are there for you use them, use them all try not to be scared.    

  

upset j  

I came from a very nice family, nice home, the oldest of 5 kids.  My mother was abusive to me, too, similar to what I saw today, but not nearly that bad... and I was damaged emotionally and psychologically by it.  You can imagine how painful this was to watch, it brought up so many deep, agonizing feelings, but not for myself - just for those beautiful, sweet children. 

It's taken me a lifetime of serious healing work, and I'm fine now, but my whole life has been focused on a priority of making sure any children in my life (I raised 3, I became a licensed daycare provider for several years, I was involved in the my kids' schools, and I now have 4 grandchildren) NEVER DOUBT FOR A MOMENT that they are loved, beautiful, special, wonderful people, with incredible potential and value. Just the opposite of how I felt as a child and teenager. 

That father was wrong to think that it's not so bad "because kids are resilient", and someone does need to set him straight.  Sure they are, but that doesn't mean serious damage isn't being done, nonetheless.  I grew up to be a fine person, but I've suffered inside my whole life, in many ways, as a result of what my mother did to me - and these kids would, too.  It breaks my heart! 

HOWEVER... I UNDERSTAND ALL THESE POSTS BY PEOPLE WHO ARE EXPRESSING RAGE TOWARD THIS MOTHER and to her husband - believe me, I had thoughts that I wanted to do the same thing to her as she was doing to her kids, I had BAD thoughts of what I'd like to do to her - BUT WHAT WE SHOULDN'T OVERLOOK IS THE FACT THAT SHE SOUGHT HELP - THAT WAS A MAJOR STEP TOWARD STOPPING THIS, and I trust that Dr Phil will see to it that this household is monitored. 

I SWEAR TO YOU, IF MY MOM HAD EVEN ONCE ADMITTED THAT SHE WAS WRONG, OR THAT SHE HAD A PROBLEM OR NEEDED HELP, THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A HUGE, HUGE STEP FORWARD.  I think this mother deserves credit for admitting it and for seeking help, she deserves this chance.

Her desire to stop the madness seemed genuine to me.  But I have to say that if it had been me sitting up there in her chair, though, I'd have been a LOT more remorseful as I watched those tapes than I felt she was... I'd have been sobbing hysterically.  I think it's hard for someone who would never do something like that to even begin to comprehend this.   I DO THINK IF THOSE KIDS WERE TAKEN AWAY FROM THEIR HOME AND PUT INTO FOSTER CARE - at least at this point - THEY WOULD BE EVEN MORE TRAUMATIZED THAN THEY ALREADY ARE.... unless it continues, and then I think they should definitely be removed from the home.   BUT I TRUST THAT DR PHIL IS CONCERNED ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE KIDS THAT HE WILL MAKE SURE THAT HOUSEHOLD IS CLOSELY MONITORED. 

With help, I believe this family can heal, and that it's NOT too late for those children. 

Dr. Phil please help those kids. You have a duty now knowing what goes on to call CPS. I could not believe what was/is happening to those poor children. There is a fine line between 'disiplining' your children and outright abusing them. And those kids are being ABUSED!!! That is why the world has so many juvenile delinquents because of parents like this and being robbed of their childhood. No kid should EVER have to be treated like this. I dont think Karen can get help. I do believe that her problems are beyond treatment. Actually she shouldnt even get another chance. She said that all 5 children were unplanned..........hello? there is a thing called birth control. If she didnt or doesnt want kids then please give them to someone who does. I'll take them!!!!! Please Dr. Phil do the right thing for those kids. They didnt ask for parents like that nor should they have to be treated like that. They seem like AWESOME kids. I couldnt imagine hitting my child like that.

Is there anyone to talk to?  Can you live somewhere else?  My heart broke when I read your post....

That woman needs to go to jail.  There is documented mental AND physical abuse ON TAPE.  She needs to be arrested.  

   

She can get therapy/treatment during/after jail... but she needs to go.  

   

I really hope CPS saw that show....     

   

   

  

   At this moment there are children who are going through hell at the hands of abusers. It is over whelming to think there are so many children suffering in such a way.  This is just one in a long line of poor helpless children. My prayers go out for the weakest victims, crying in fear today. 

I just finished watching your show and cannot believe she was allowed to return to her home with her children. I am outraged at this. I understand that you asked her husband to be there at all times but you do not REALLY know the extent of the abuse...the shame...the secrets...etc.This has been an abusive home!!!!   

 It is understandable that her admission to her abuse is applaudable but it does not mean she should have left your show with her children by her side. I agree with you that this woman is not evil-but she cannot control her rage and might retaliate because of her exposure to the world! I am a firm believer that the abuser should be removed from the home-not the abused. This woman should have been placed in a facility to deal with her abusive behavior and then slowly upon proving her treatment a success be returned to her children.    

This is the first time that your show has left me with an uncomfortable feeling. I have watched during your OPRAH days and followed you to your own show. I have such concern about this that after your show finished airing i came right to your website and registered to be able to voice my opinion about this. Most likely your show has aired a few weeks after the taping...what has happened to these children????????? To place the children under guard of her submissive husband seems unthinkable.    

I wonder what the local authorities will do after the airing of this show in their community. I hope the children are not removed from their home-this is really bothering me.  

 I understand what those children are going through. My mother was like that times 2. I am still crying and shaking from the show. It brought back so many memories. I am now 41 years old and the oldest of 7 kids. My sister right under me and I took the brunt of the beatings. I have had black eyes, bloody noses all from the hands of my mother. She is deceased now. I hope that Dr. Phil was right about sending those children home with her, but I don't believe he is. Whenever someone would talk to my mother about us, she would beat us for it. I would beg people to not say anything because I would pay for it. She would use sticks, brooms whatever she could get her hands on. Listening to the little boy begging for mercy sent chills through my body. I remember that so well. It was like the more I begged or pleaded the she would beat me. There were times that I was afraid that I was going to die. There were times that I wanted to die. I could go on and on, but I am not. I am trying to stop crying. There is so much that I have surpressed. I feel like a little girl again wondering why does she hate me so much. I know that she was sick. I was very protective of her. I didn't want anything to happen to her, I just wanted the beatings to stop. My friends would ask me why don't I run away, and I would tell them that I have to stay for the kids. If I wasn't there she would just move on the next one in line. It was my way of protecting them, as little as I could.  I hope that those kids are okay. I don't trust the dad either. I think that he knows more than he is letting on. I don't trust the parents. I am so afraid for the kids.  What is going to prevent her from going into a rage again.  She is going to sit  at  home and think about  the  show and go after them.

Sincerely,

Scared little girl that just wants to know that her mother loved her.