Topic : 08/09 A Mother's Rage

This was perhaps the saddest Dr. Phil show I've ever seen and I HOPE I don't have to see another one. My childhood was sadly similar, although the physical abuse was not even half as bad. My father simply used abusive names, threats and would stop punches before they hit my face.  

However, I have been married 16 years (to a wonderful man) and each and every day I must WORK to control my inner rage. Once in a great while I scare my children with yelling. I stop myself and apologize, but I know I cannot take back all the hurt my rage caused. My children and I are VERY close and 99.9% of the time we have a quiet, loving, respectful relationship. I work hard every single day to not fly off the handle that 1% of the time.  

I truly wish my mother had the confidence to protect us and take us out of our abusive home, but she was weak, scared and verbally abused as well (she did what she was capable of at the time). I love my father dearly now (I've forgiven him...after over 30 years), but the damage he caused in me is shameful. I continue to work on myself and thankfully God has given me a calm, kind, patient man to be the father of our children.  

May this family find healing and may the scars of those children not affect their future families. They, too, will probably have to work HARD not to continue the cycle. God bless them all and God bless Dr. Phil for his work with them.  

How dare this women have the right to do that to her children!!!! Im only 16 years old and I even know thats not right!! My parents would never raise there fist or phyiscally hurt me because there anger! I hope this mother gets lots of help this is not fair ! When  I watched this episode I become almost physically ill just from seeing it. It makes me anger and sick! I hope that those children now can go to a safe house but please dont let them go back! The parents didnt even think hitting there kid was that bad? What is wrong with them!!!!! 

I know what you are going through I am a 32 year old survivor and an oldest of three sisters. I would like to give you an ear to lean on. I am in Oregon and I lived with the exact same thing this show and you are talking about it. Having lived through this I know your fears are very real. I didn't read the whole post but is your father any help? Your fears are so real I failed my sisters and one of them resents me for not being able to stop mom and protect her. You have to let your siblings know you love them and that no matter what happens with mom you all need to band together. I left home for college and tried to ignore the problem and it only made it worse. When I came home it was only worse. If you have a car what I found worked the best was to grab my sisters and just get out of the house. When they are young and stuck in the house they have no escape and that helps allot. Go with them to school and help them talk to the school councilor let them talk to someone who is there to help them. Then just spend time with them and keep them away from the situation.

If you could I would try to get the parent in for psychiatric evaluation. It took 25 years but one my mom finally got to the point she would allow proper mental care things got a lot better.

Worse come to worse to the country Children and Family Services and do what you need to do to get your siblings out of that house. If I had been thinking I would have fought for my sisters to live with me when I went to college.

Anyway I am here to help.. nicolelschramartin@excite.com

The clips from todays show bothered me from the moment they started airing. My heart has been aching as I returned to my younger years.  As the oldest of 6 children I was always running interference.  The abuse seemed to escalate as my parents continued to have kids that my mother had no idea how to control,  (her mother was also abusive)  I rec'd my share of blows.  I was 15 when I avoided the last attempted beating- I was then a full head taller than my mother- I was pulling her off of my sister who was then 12, laying on her back with mom's hands around her throat-I truly believe that had I not intervened she would have died that day-she attempted to hit me and 'take me down'-I stood my ground for the first time and declared that I was no longer going to be beaten.  I reclaimed my power.  From the time I could first remember-no matter what we did it wasn't good enough-my mom requested that my father cut special 'paddles' at work, I always wondered why he didn't realize why they kept disappearing-we buried them, burnt them and hid them.  Always another would turn up.  The pain from putting our hand over our rump to stop the blows is hard to describe and the verbal abuse was so degrading.  I know that my father had to work hard to feed his family and was often gone, but I am still daddy's little girl-even though he cut those paddles I couldn't believe he didn't know what was going on.   To this day my mother denies that she ever raised a hand when confronted by her children.  The youngest never remembered being abused physically, her abuse was of the emotional type.  Mom said she was to tired to beat her, she was worn out after she got done with the older kids.  I left home at 18 when I married a man who 'rescued' me-there's another story.  We now range in age of 35 to 49 and not one of us has escaped without the emotional baggage.  I have 4 children, 1 deceased-and 4 grandchildren.  I can truthfully say that after going thru my upbringing I have not had the heart or desire to inflict pain upon my kids.  My mom doesn't understand why her kids and her grandkids are so distant-I can't feel sorry for her, I mourn the childhood memories. I try to admonish her (she's now into her 70's) when she is hateful and she doesn't get that people don't tolerate the hate.  I have even seen here recently try to flip the bird at a passing car that she thinks wronged her.  I explain about road rage-she just can't seem to grasp that this is wrong.  Her anger will never diminish because she can't acknowledge that she is angry, she believes that everyone should wait on her, (she has a me first attitude) regardless of who else is in the room.  She thinks it's funny to be rude and verbally abuse.  Her sister has given her a nickname that I find true to form 'sharptongue' , when she first heard this she cried for 3 days but now she embraces it and finds it funny.  What kind of emotional baggage do you think she has been hiding all these years?? I find I am more the mother than the daughter. I used to be resentful and wishing I could have been born into my aunt's family, now I am just understanding and sad.  Thank God that Karen had the gut's to realize the horror she is inflicting and now is the time to act! 

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I heard the show on my way from work on the radio and I dont think I have ever been so emotional but after hearing that child beg his mom to stop I could not help but to change the station til the crying and begging stopped.  I am a mom too and I just kept thinking that I would have hurt Karen if I was there and witnessing this abuse.  Please Dr. Phil help these children............ 

I am really surprised that you let those kids leave your show with her.  I hope you dont regret it.  I am so heart broken for those children but I know that there are so many Brandon's in this world.  May God Bless the children that have to endure this kind of punishment from "the person they love". 

Please help these children...... 

You must not have seen the whole show... and if you have, you must be on some wicked drugs! That monster is WAY beyond help....  

WITCH33- I couldn't have said it better myself! AMEN!