Topic : 08/09 A Mother's Rage

My mother alienated me from family and scared me into not telling anyone. Now as an adult I WISHED I would have informed someone to HELP me! It will be okay to get help from a trusted family member or close friend.  

How far away is she in her mindset from those mothers who murdered their children by drowning them?  Her husband did not seem very upset at seeing the video of her treament of the children & he is not qualified to "supervise" her handling of the children.  The children should be removed for their safety from the care of their parents.  They are very precious children & the eldest son seems to have a good head on his shoulders - better than his parents do.  I can understand Dr. Phil telling the children that their mother is not a "bad person" - but the actual fact is she is NOT a good person either!    

I grew up in a home where my mother raged and now 30 years later she still does.  Last week she was over and she got upset over something I said and physically attacked me in front of my 3 year old daughter.  The reason the show got to me was not only because of my mother but myself.  Karen was like seeing myself, I get so out of control with my anger that I as well take it out on my 3 year old daughter.  I used to physically slap and spank her but when I realized it was getting out of control I contacted a counsellor and started to get help.  I am still working on getting better control of myself.  I still yell and scream alot but at least I have been able to stop the physical abuse.  When I listened to the tape of Karen and her kids I heard so many of the words that I use in my home and it made me cry to think of how hurtful this is.  Like Karen's children my daughter used to cringe anytime I came near,  if I even raised my hand she would cower.  Now that I have stopped the spanks and slaps she no longer has those reactions but she does plug her ears and hides when I start to yell.  I am so glad that I have many supports in my community that I am able to deal with my anger issues and put my family first.  I believe that without my family first coordinator (she is a support for families and comes out once a week to my home) or my counselor (who also comes to my home so I do not need to take my children out) I would not be on my way to recovery and that one day I may have harmed my children maybe not physically but at the very least emotionally.   

Karen hang in there and know that the road to recovery is long and hard but it will be well worth it when you see the results in your children.  I know from experience and now that I no longer see my child cringe from my touch it is the best thing in the world.  I would never want my children to suffer for as long as I have.  God bless and know that you and your family are in my prayers.  

I applaud Karen for the courage it took to face the public today.   How many mothers, having such a huge anger issue, would subject herself to the same?  Karen came to Dr. Phil because she knows she has a problem.  They call child abuse the "silent epidemic" because most people are too weak to even seek help.  I cried today for Karen's children's pain and for Karen's pain.  What a burden she must be carrying.  I pray for strength for the entire family to get through and past this trial.  I pray many parents who saw today's show will change their own behavior, or at least recognise it.  I pray that chain of violence gets stopped NOW.  I am one, like many posting today, who went and hugged my children as soon as the show ended.  (My 10 year old now thinks I'm insane because he was on the toilet at the time).  God bless you, Karen, for your courage.  God grant you more, you're going to need it.   

So then she knows it was painful and wrong and should never do to someone else something that was so bad for her!!