Topic : 08/09 A Mother's Rage

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     these children have to put some where safe , we will soon see on your show this monster has beat these children to death . No matter what they both say he is doing the beating also .

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THEM

I'm scratching my head over that one. to steal your adage Dr. Phil, "What we're you thinking". How do you think these so called parents be rehabilitated. This is not abuse, its flat out criminal assault. Making the stepfather handshake agreement, that he'll protect his stepkids from their mom. Newsflash- he beats them as well. steel toe boot and the stick. If there is anykind of follow-up on this episode. I pray to god that it'll be a good one, not a bad one. My gut instinct tells me it'll be the latter :(

when i told my cousin who is in law enforcement about the episode. He was mortified, he said only if that was in my juristicion, and i'm on my off duty hours. I knew what he meant, without him saying another word. All i have to say the punishment my cousin would do to them is 10 times worse what LAPD did to Rodney King.

I can see if the kids did something wrong and have to be corrected. But from the film, I saw they were innocent only to get beaten on a whim by an over-raged mother who should be thrown in jail for 5-10 years. Let see if she likes to get beaten up by some harden criminals that doesn't take child abuse too well.

Since this show poisoned my psyche on Wednesday, I have trouble sleeping.  It made me physically sick even though I only watched bits and pieces, hitting mute and looking away through the footage.  Why should the audience sit through the video several times (including feeders for the comercial breaks)?  It was too much -- too disturbing.  I was never abused and don't have personal traumas making me overly sensitive to the issue.  How horrible that the kids have had to live with that daily when I (a 36 year old teacher enjoying the end of my summer vacation) couldn't take it for a second. 

I watched the show intermittently, covering my eyes only peeking at the corner of the muted screen to see the dad's reaction.  That didn't help, though; it made me sick, too -- he hardly seemed surprised or upset.  I guess I expected him to say, "where's my son?" find him, hold him and tell him he won't ever let their mom do that again.  People don't react the way we expect, I suppose.

We (i.e. viewers) need a follow up show to know that these kids are okay.

It made me embarrass my own teenage son in front of his friends when I had to immediately walk away from the show and tell him I love him. 

Yet I was compelled to keep watching (turning the TV off/on to avoid repeats of the video) to know that those kids were going to be safe.  That didn't happen.

I'm impressed by the Mom's fortitude to call the show to save her kids.  Dr. Phil promised the kids they wouldn't be hurt again, yet put their welfare in the hands (until an intervention) of the man who only hit them with the stick a couple of times and kicked them with the side of his steel-toe boots.  Of course, this has all been covered on the discussion board already.  It doesn't seem that any of us were taken in by the minimizing.  Even the intervention doesn't seem too promising -- we're all familiar with social services as a government agency (often as dysfunctional as other agencies where common sense is lost in red tape and policies). 

Kids who are abused tend keep the secret partly because they don't want their families torn apart.  In that case, a follow up show might backfire if the kids were sent to separate foster homes and the mother arrested.  By backfire I mean kids considering turning in their parents (or parents considering turning in themselves) thinking they'll get help will watch and think, "if I turn them in, I'll never see them again and might be sent to a foster family who treats me worse than they do." 

I hope and pray, though, that the family will heal and remain together as much as possible.  Isn't there some kind of parenting coach who could stay with the mother during the time (preferably limited) she's with the kids.  The dad can't be the one to do it -- the situation is too serious, and he doesn't seem to know much about effective parenting either.  Rather than asking the dad if he could be in charge until the intervention, Dr. Phil should have asked if trusted, qualified members of his staff could stay at their house as nannies until the children's safety was assured. 

I don't watch much TV, but I was looking forward to being able to watch Dr. Phil since I always miss it during the school year.  That'll teach me.  I hate to think how much sleep I would lose watching it all year long.

For my own mental well being, I think I should stick to cooking and decorating shows. 

I completely understand how some of you are outraged and appalled at the behavior of this woman towards her children. It is not appropriate parenting. However, as someone earlier pointed out, she called and asked for help. She knows she needs guidance, assistance, and counseling. She knows she is physically and psychologically hurting her children - that's why she was on the show. I'm not surprised that the general public's reaction is to say that the children should be removed from the home. But unless you've been involved with children in the Foster Care System, you do not want to subject these children to that kind of situation. It is highly probable that they would be split up because it's rare that one foster home could take five children. With the foster care system as overloaded and "broken" as it is, chances are they would do exactly what Dr. Phil recommended: counseling for the whole family, parenting classes, anger management classes and a family member to supervise the mother with the children. I think the children would suffer more psychological damage being removed from their home than they would by watching their mother and father do the hard work of repairing the damage they have done to them. What this family needs most is prayer and guidance, not condemnation.

Raising children is hard work. Controlling your temper with your children is hard work. Every mother I know, myself included, has been close to crossing the line that this woman crossed. I was fortunate enough to have parenting classes before I adopted my four children - so I can recognize those "anger triggers." Most parents don't have that advantage. (I firmly believe every parent should take a parenting class - just like they take birthing classes.)

Keep this family in your prayers and off your "hate" list.

I hear what you are saying as far as being "close" to losing it with our kids. I am a single mother of a child with what the psychological community labels as "ED" or Emotionally Disturbed. I was beside myself with my son starting at about 14 months. His rage, tantrums, biting, hitting, nearly getting kicked out of child care, etc. that started this early and just kept going and going had me almost despondent at times. Some people would say, "Oh, he'll outgrow it, " or "It's just his age, " blah blah blah. People, I knew something was wrong with him, something was just not right. I felt overwhelmed doing this by myself, having to work, having no support (and I mean NO support), feeling guilty that it was my fault that my son was behaving like this..it was horrible. I lost my temper twice during this period before he was seven and he was finally looked at by a pediatric neurologist, a pediatrician specializing in ED, etc. My son has all kinds of fun things that we finally figured out (though it's still not fun). ADHD (Severe..and don't let anyone make you feel guilty if they judge you for that diagnosis). I resisted this "fad" as long as I could until  I finally let my son take the meds. It makes a WORLD of difference. He also has Tourette's and some emotional problems. Maybe some of them are my fault, I don't know.

The reason I say this is because I have been at the end of my rope many times, but I never, never, never behaved like a sadist with my kid! This woman went off on her kids on a scale that has obviously appalled most of us if not all of us. It's beyond appalling, it's criminal. If I were in charge of the world she would be incarcerated. However, the point that she came forward is a very good one and I have tried to keep that in mind. I don't enjoy being so judgmental because I do understand the rage that sometimes boiled up in me, but I'm sorry, I cannot even identify with the atrocities that woman inflicted on her children.

Regardless, I am with you. We do not need her on our hate list. If her own kids don't hate her then why should we. I think outrage and off the chart anger is appropriate, but hate is definitely not the route any of us should be going. Shame always begets shame and I am willing to bet that she feels a boat load of that, of which only God can release her from. If God forgives her (should she ask Him), then we need to as well. It's just normal for moms (or not) to be big time offended, but again, hating her is definitely wrong. I agree. I also agree that foster care is not a good thing from what I have heard about foster care. The mom needs to be removed from the home, not the kids.

Hi,

I would in no way send you a hate message. I appreciate your candor and sharing your heart. I am also thankful that you have been able to plug into the Lord and allow Him to help you have self-control and compassion and grace instead of violence. We all need this. Parenting IS hard. I've only got one (with special needs), but it is very, very hard at times. I have felt trapped and isolated and at times thought I hated him, but I knew I didn't. It was just resentment being left alone to handle the job by myself.

When you see the utter violence that woman subjected her kids to it is extremely difficult not to be judgmental. I felt "convicted" the whole time I was shouting at the TV at her and feeling enough rage myself to want to plow into HER knee...but I also knew that she realllly put herself out there in front of the world, which you know had to be hideously embarrassing and humiliating. It's good that Dr. Phil was the one she was able to contact because he knew how to speak to her and handle her.  He's the doctor though, I'm not. Even so I am sure he probably had to compose himself after seeing the video. Who wouldn't??

Nice try!!!  If you really listened to what Brandon was saying during his interview "when my mother screams at us, our neighbors can her her"  -She got caught (some already called on her) and this was her saving grace to try and save herself.  And as for the Husband (Jim), if that was my husband watching this for the first time....you can guarantee he wouldn't make it through the first minute so he knew a lot more than admitted. 

I don't know what it is like to be abused, and I didn't take parenting classes...I do have 2 kids (9 and 7) and I do know foster parents and WE all know where the line is.  I understand "not judging people"  BUT who do suggest stand up for these abused children...???  I will say this once -I am my childrens backbone until they don't need me anymore...  I don't think that ever crossed Karen's mind, it certainly didn't cross Jim's.   I would rather cut out my own beating heart than to ever even think about saying/treating my children this way.  She got caught way before she called Dr. Phil!!!! 

I watch Dr. Phil on an on and off basis.  I registered today (for the first time) to place this message .....because this show bothered me so badly.  I was in tears as I watched the show.  Oh my Lord......how can a mother treat childern this way.  Those poor kids.  I fear for their safety as they return home with these parents.  I know this occurs in the world ....but to actually see it  happen as they showed it over and over on the show.  I cried, I felt sick to my stomach........those poor precious children.  I wish I could take them under my wings right now and shelter them.  I would not blink twice to give them a loving home

PLEASE DR PHIL...........gives us all a follow up on this show.  It seems to have bothered many.  Let us all have peace of mind these kids are okay.