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Topic : 07/19 Mind Your Business

Number of Replies: 273

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Created on : Friday, May 05, 2006, 07:03:49 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 05/11/06) They go through your wallet, they trace your phone calls, they even get in their car to follow your every move. They’re meddlesome, nosy people who love to snoop! Dr. Phil’s guests are fed up with loved ones who can't seem to stay out of their business. Carla, 31, says she's tired of her mother, Pamela, tracking her every move, day and night. Pamela says having a house right behind her daughter makes keeping an eye on her easy. She even cut down Carla's hedges so she could see better! Does this backyard buttinsky know best, or does she need to stay on her side of the fence? Then, Christie is so obsessed with snooping on her husband, Shannon, that she reads his e-mails, checks his phone messages and even smells his clothes just to make sure he's not cheating on her. Shannon says he has no privacy and is contemplating leaving his wife. What's behind Christie's constant snooping and interrogations? Plus, a mom who says as long as her children live under her roof, she has the right to eavesdrop on their phone calls, read their diaries, and even search through their clothes while they're sleeping! Is she crossing the line? Share your thoughts here.

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lcb81860

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Touched

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May 11, 2006, 3:20 pm PDT

Afterthought...

An "affair" doesn't have to involve sex in order to determine it's level of impact on the person betrayed...I would think that an "emotional affair" would have worse an effect because the physical is obviously an instant gratification, whereas feelings and emotions shared go way deeper between two people...MY opinion...always humble! :)

OXO
Lucy

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dw20052

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Relaxed

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confused

May 11, 2006, 3:22 pm PDT

you get one chance

This first lady is not dealin with a full deck. I hope Dr. Phil can explain the rules of life. If she doesn't trust in the job she has done as a mother it is not fair that her own insecuritities of life intefere with her daughter and her family. Get a life, volunteer at a womens shelter where good sense is needed to help these ladies reclaim their lives.

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purplepain

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May 11, 2006, 3:23 pm PDT

05/11 Mind Your Business

Quote From: kryztal

....what the heck is that?

It's an affair where a person don't have sex with someone else but they fall in love with someone else. The other person becomes the "significant other"...IMO it's much much much worse than a purely physical affair.

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hpmx590

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Happy

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happy

May 11, 2006, 3:25 pm PDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Doctor Phil. Business Mind Your is a good thing but not telling anyone about it could get you in lot of troublw and up in jail aswell. See you tomorrow. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your.----

Russell Vlaanderen.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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marshak

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Apathetic

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worried

May 11, 2006, 3:34 pm PDT

mind your own bussiness

pamala needs to tell her mom once and for all to but out of her personal space

also a little piece of advice my mother gave me was when we childeren left home and were on our own that we should be far enough away that u can;t see the smoke from the chimminy of each other .

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nurseyrn20

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frustrated

May 11, 2006, 3:37 pm PDT

Debating the show

My boyfriend also happened to catch this Dr Phil today. He laughed and stated that he told his friend that he was watching it with, hey - look, I'm on Dr Phil (Shannon and Christie) I instantly started crying on the phone. I felt very hurt. I am like Christie, but if not for him giving me a reason to doubt him and not trust him - we had a great relationship prior to this. He doesn't understand that it's not like I can just wake up tomorrow trusting him like nothing ever happened.

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sharly

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worried

May 11, 2006, 3:46 pm PDT

depression

Quote From: gatinoise

All four of us - daughters - married controlling manipulative husbands. The result: four disastrous marriages that ended in divorces. The underlying reason: legacy from our parents' modeling.

After 15 years of marriage, one of my sisters started suffering from major depression with psychotic episodes, the result of being in an emotional, psychological, verbal abusive marriage during all those years. After finally going through a very difficult divorce, and trying to get herself together, she moved "back home". She is not rich, so my parents lent her an old car, so she could get around. She also found herself a job, low-paying, but still, a step forward.

My father is not empathetic towards her at all. He bosses her around all the time, and tells her what to do and what not to do. You would think he would encourage her and support her, but no. He is critical the whole time. She reacts by being passive-aggressive, which is not a very mature reaction, but understandable under the circumstances. He could be happy his daughter is close to home. But all he sees are her shortcomings.

Anyways, he did not agree with the job she got herself. So, he took away the car they lent her. She has no way of getting to her place of employment, so she lost her job. My father is justifying himself, which I find just monstrous.

Depression with psychotic features is a true mental illness. I t is in the brain ,it is not caused by abuse but could be aggravated by it.

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purplepain

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May 11, 2006, 3:48 pm PDT

05/11 Mind Your Business

Quote From: nurseyrn20

My boyfriend also happened to catch this Dr Phil today. He laughed and stated that he told his friend that he was watching it with, hey - look, I'm on Dr Phil (Shannon and Christie) I instantly started crying on the phone. I felt very hurt. I am like Christie, but if not for him giving me a reason to doubt him and not trust him - we had a great relationship prior to this. He doesn't understand that it's not like I can just wake up tomorrow trusting him like nothing ever happened.

Well eventually you are going to have to decide, trust him or not. Getting into his business just leaves you in limbo.

It's time to decide, trust him and take a chance, or leave him and start again with someone new.

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cjansley38

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Worried

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hopeful

May 11, 2006, 3:50 pm PDT

Dr. Phil Can you please HELP ME!!!!!!

I have been married for two years now. The whole two years has been nothing but lies. My husband will even lie over small things such as if I ask him to buy something and bring it home. When he comes home he doesn't have the item, I ask him "Where is it?" He reply "Oh, I left it at work." Knowing he didn't buy it at all. Where this is something I have dealt with from day one. He does not even like for me to walk into his workplace. Every word comes out of his mouth, I think it is a LIE!!! But now I had heard that he is flirting with a girl at work?????? I am haunted by negative thoughts 24- 7 when he is away from me. If he is with me then I am fine. But the moment he leaves I am terrified. I have to call him when I think it is the right amount of time that he should be at work. If is 5 minutes late I am terrified. I check all the time receipts, checking accounts, etc. to see if he takes some one out or even if he buys his lunch for that day. I have to call him 20X's a day, right before and right after he goes and comes back from lunch. I check everything, vehicles, wallets, books, clothes, smell, check to see if he has the same underwear on, phones, etc. My marriage is on its last straw. I don't know how much more I can take of this and he feels this same way. It is affecting me emotional, physically, verbally and intimacy, and every other way. I have been divorce with two kids, now I am married and FEAR of being divorce and a single parent of 3 now. I have lost 16 pounds in two weeks. I don't want to eat, sick all the time, etc. I have just one month ago went to the mental health place. He is treating me with depression and it ain't working. I am depress because I am having marital problems, and I can not trust my husband. I guess you would say that I am obsessive. What is my problem? Is it me or him???????????????? I can't go on like this. I have tried and begged for help no one around knows what is wrong. I have never had this kind of feeling. I just don't trust my husband. Can you please tell me what to tell the doctors where I can get the right kind of HELPPPPPPP????????//// Thanks

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reynaflack

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May 11, 2006, 3:52 pm PDT

05/11 Mind Your Business

Quote From: linz083

It really opened my eyes this afternoon to see Christie snooping through her husband's things.

I can't even remember when I started, and I dont know how long I've been doing it, but I do it too. Only thing is, its my boyfriend not my husband, and we've been living together for just over 1 year now.

I pretty much just snoop through his MSN history. one day when I checked I found a conversation he'd had with his EX-GF the day before. the conversation was one that he definitely shouldn't have had. Complete with "I only have 20 minutes", "lets keep this between us", etc... I completely fell apart when I read it. I confronted him again and he admitted to it, but said he wasn't thinking and it didn't have "feelings" to it. We made it through, but deep down I can't help but wonder if he'll do it again. He says he won't because he saw how much he hurt me.

I check his MSN history every morning when he leaves for work/school, and I check his email all the time. I don't WANT to, but I feel compelled to. He knows I do it, and he seems to have no problem with it. however, Watching today's show, I know I need to stop.

I tell myself regularly that if he does anything else, it won't be the end of my life. Sometimes I even say, "maybe I just have to accept that guys are like that, and its something I have to live with"

Does anyone have any advice for me? I don't want to snoop, but I can't help it knowing he's done soomething in the past. How do I try to forget and move on?

I'm no professional, but, thought I'd share my thoughts on your story.

I think you won't ever forget what your boyfriend did, but , there is definitly a time when you will have to forgive him and move past it. If your boyfriend is ok with you checking up on him, it seems like he knows what he did was wrong and wants to prove to you that you can trust him again. And try not to tell yourself that 'guys are just like that', because it's giving you justification for your snooping.

Just like Christie, it might benifit you to go to counseling, and since your boyfriends actions played a part in your distrust, maybe he'd be interested in doing couples counseling.

Good luck

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