Topic : 08/23 My Fiancé is a Stalker

Quote From: terrbin

See the signs, man!  Do you have a daughter?  Would you wait until he hurt her or your grandaughter further before realizing they are in danger!?!?   (He's already attacked them with a CAR - or did you miss that point?  Oh.... but he didn't really hurt them......THIS TIME!...)  

  

I don't think most here are suggesting "Do not pass Go, and go directly to Jail" - mostly just that he needs to CHANGE HIS BEHAVIOR ENTIRELY before he is safe to be around them.  How likely is that?..... I can't know.  But a person is not thinking rationally to stay with an admitted bully to "wait and see" if he does.  Even Dr. Phil acknowledges that much! 

Quote From: bru87tr

she could end up dead?   

  

I "could" be president too!!! 

  

again, I say lets not blow it out of proportion. you all are so ready to execute and man before he even does something bad.  

  

let me tell you from experience and being just like ken is way back. I hit other things cause I didnt want to hurt anyone else. I took my anger out on "Things" to relieve my anger. it worked but is does not solve the problem. if he was a physical guy who wanted to hurt them.... he would have done it in some way already. he has had too many chances. Ken is smarter  than you all think. he takes his anger out on things he cannot hurt, like people. 

  

its like saying , I "could" have a heart attack tomorrow.  give me a break. I think dr. phil knows better than you do. 

Quote From: twodimplz1

"we are talking degrees and his is not at a terrible point yet."   

   

   

Well...when someone is ramming your car, threatening your mother, punching holes in your wall, shoving you into the toilet , cheating on you 10+ times, calling you 40+ times in an hour, breaks down your door in a fit of rage.....then you tell me "she doens't look abused"....well....that's a great start I'd say!     

   

 We give people 20+ chances in this country and eventually, sadly it DOES take killing someone to put them behind bars!!....Ken was in jail once for his abuse...he already had committed himself.   

It's scary that you would possibly allow your own daughter to let a man continue to do something like this to her, because it's "not at a terrible point yet."  Shame on you!!     

   

and Ken's age is NO excuse...he's CLEARLY an adult....and CLEARLY knows he's doing wrong!...thankfully he is going to be getting the help he needs to move forward in his life.  His behavior is not excusable under ANY circumstances.  People like me are abused every day...and he's plenty old to turn his life around!!!  

Quote From: bru87tr

well wouldnt you say your 50% at fault ? you kept your kids in that enviroment ? 

  

it shure looks to me you made a terrible decision and can be blamed for half that problem. instead of pointing fingers you should have been taking action and opened you eyes. sorry but I cant feel bad for someone who decides to say for the sake of the children when the children are at risk. 

  

  

not smart. 

Quote From: tyler1

 Bru87, I was also abused as a child.   I really didn't let go of my pain until my 40's.  If you hold onto it forever you become and stay a miserable, bitter, frustrated adult (like my mother at 67, and still in denial).   I'm not going to bash Ken, because for the first time in my life I felt sorry for an abuser.  Dr.Phil had me almost crying.   Dr.Phil came over as a father figure to this guy, and that really touched me.  I know Ken recognized this as well and it cracked him.  I'm not excusing Kens behavior and it is a choice he's making, when he chooses to rage on.   He continues because no ones stopping him or has been able to do so.  He does need truck loads of help before he can be in his childs life on any permanant basis.  His little girl is going to grow up thinking she too is unworthy of a healthy relationship.   I think his girlfriend has major issues as well.  She's over weight, she probably does not think highly of herself and absolutely loved the adoration he lavished on her innitially.   The fact that he cheats on her repeatedly and she stays, says volumes.  Of course her upbringing by her mother/father , surroundings and experiences play into why she has such self loathing for herself.  She's probably got it stuck in her mind, he's the best she can get and he's all she deserves.  So sad, all around.    I myself have had only one experience with an abusive boyfriend.  After 3 unbelievable outburst over nothing significant, and being completely unable to rationalize with him, I left.  I was only with him a couple mo's, but I could see his potential for physical violence.   I left one day when he was gone. He tried to get in touch, but I ignored him intirely. Eventually he quickly faded away.  Don't stay long girls.  It will make it harder to leave.  Never think it will get better or YOU can make it better.  Get out the first red flags you see, ie jealousy, telling you what to wear, who to see, saying they love you right away (1st month, ridiculous) that's not love it's neediness.  Sorry for the rant.  Tyler1

Quote From: dorisgiust

Amber is holding him hostage emotionally.  If she doesn't like what's going on, get out.  Finalize it.  Don't keep dragging him along.  She's making his emotional status worse...

Quote From: kstockdale

What the heck?? Ken, why do you allow your father to prohibit you from laundering the TRUTH about him?? Do you see the cycle? He is able to manipulate you into what you can or cannot say on national television when it concerns YOUR family - YOUR daughter! Why do you allow yourself - a grown man to be under his influence. It would have been GOOD to let your father's ugly head rear out on national television.  

  

How does it feel to know that you are an adult and you cannot get out from underneath your dad? That is how Amber feels with you. This show was about YOU not, your father. If your problems stem from your father, you have EVERY right to express your feelings. How sad it must have been to grow up knowing you are NOT ALLOWED to EXPRESS your feelings. You should be able to express them without guilt or condemnation!!!  

  

For the sake of your daughter, leave Amber. Go to counseling and do a kiss off to your father.