Topic : Dealing with the Added Stress

My son will be 1 in January and I have done everything myself. Getting up  every two hours...comforting...feeding...everything since he was born. At first I felt like well..my husband has to work so I will do it all so he can get some sleep. I thought he would have been more involved, and it still suprises me that he isn't. Now that he's almost walking he wants to play with him, but he has NEVER just grabbed him and said he needs a bath and took him to give him a bath or I think he's hungry...let me go feed him. Enough about me, I'm sure you've gathered it's quite the same.  My husband has gotten better because I say to him, "why do you act as though feeding your child is a job?" " Your son just loves you and misses you all day, that is why he won't let go of you!" "When he notices a stinky diaper or the other, I say finders keepers" It's their job other than financially to take care of the children too and I can't imagine doing it with two. They really don't realize that yes, it's hard, but its so rewarding too. They are missing out on the development of their children. Some fathers only seem to want to be a part of the fun stuff and leave the rest for mommy, but they don't realize that maintaining and home and children (with the biggest baby being the husband) is quite challenging. I told my husband before and I will say it every time, "if you budge me one more time because you hear the baby on the monitor, or if you act like "your" child is aggravating you..then that is just wrong. That baby loves you and most of all needs you as well as me. I try and make him remember his own father taking care of him.. I know I remember my daddy rubbing my head until I fell asleep and staying up with me anytime I needed him. That's what they are for. Good luck to you. You should really put your foot down and tell him that you need space just as well as anyone else does and that you are NOT A MACHINE... That 's one of my quotes. I know things will get better,but not if you don't say anything. Don't let it linger, that could ruin your marriage. 

BEST WISHES! 

I am now pregnant with a second child. My husband isnt the worlds best but he is not even near the worse. Yes i take care of most of the things but I stay home all day while he works. My daughter is 15 mths going on like 10 yrs old. she has grown up so fast. I love her and she loves everyone. But sometimes I feel at a lose I feel like I am taking on the world. Not just home chores. My husband tells me not to worry about things I have no control over but when your wondering where your childs next gallon of milk is coming from or where you can get a loaf of bread for sandwiches what do you do? Or your the one changing all the diapers, fixing all the bottles, cleaning everything? How do you not get stressed out? Please if someone has a idea on some stress relaxers that are safe while pregnant Please I am all ears.  

Jessica
Lacodagirl@yahoo.com. :) 

HI Jessica, 

  I know what you are talking about when it comes to stressful times.  It is easy for people to tell you to not worry, its quite another to actually not worry.  One way i have found to be a great stress reliever is meditation.  I am a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.  ANd meditation has been a great way for me to relieve stress and get a clearer picture on what I am doing and what needs to be done.  And if you wish to email me then feel free to do so at paradise_city052000@yahoo.com  By the way, Im Daniel, and i have this habit of wanting to solve other peoples problems, instead of my own.  LIke I have a 14 month old son.  You can read the article, it is on here.  its under 'dadinneed...there is a pic of my lil slugger beside it.  Like I said, feel free to email me if you wish. 

I understand completely!  When my son was born last year, I felt completely cooped up alone and isolated.  Every day I was staring at the same 4 walls while my husband was working 10-12 hour days, 5-6 days a week.  Our friends stopped calling, since they were afraid to wake up the baby.  Our parents do not live in the same city, so I had very little help. 

I found some programs for new moms in my neighborhood.  One program was story time and nursery rhymes, some were educational for the parent and playtime (when he got a little bit older).  Some were for the mothers only and child care and a meal was provided.  I met lots of moms with children the same age as my son and we became close friends.  They understand what is like to be a mom and the every day stress (unlike your friends without children).  Now we get together weekly for coffee or other activities and our children are also friends. 

This really helped meet new people and I also realised that it's OK to be jealous and feel lonely at first.  Now my son and I have more of a social life than my husband! 

Hope this helps 

I am a new 20yr old mom with a 3 month old son. I enjoy being a mother and spending so much time with him.  His father unfortunately is a little different.  2 weeks after I had my son his father went to jail for 40 days.  He is currently out on bail.  He has an extremely bad, and expensive drug habit.  He even went as far as to spend his sons gift money from when he was first born.  No one on my mothers side of the family and his mothers side of the family would take the 3 of in when he got out of jail.  Thankfully my father who is a very caring, understanding, and generous person took us in until a week later (after Christmas) my boyfriend stole my step brothers PSP and fathers new digital camera.  My boyfriend keeps threatening me that he'll move to Florida if I don't stay in a relationship with him.  I want my son to have a father, but a god one what should i do?