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January 22, 2006, 1:54 pm PST
Dealing with the Added Stress
Quote From: mommababyI know how that can be...im 19yrs old and i have a 5 mth old daughter..and yea the social life is basicly gone...and i do as well get kind mad at my boyfriend when he can go out and be with his friends and all and i have to stay home with the baby...and she is his daughter and all...oh he spends time with her and me and all...just get mad i have to stay home with her all the time and don't get a day or even a night to myself with out her...i love her with all my heart..but every mother needs a break every no and then
to help with the social life...if you can't go any where with your friends and all that..have them come too your home and hang out and what not....that way you'll have a lil bit more of a social life and you can still be with your baby... Have you ever sat him down and told him how you feel and what you need? BOTH of you are parents and the father of this child needs to realize that. If you haven't already, I would encourage you to have a little family meeting, and do not ask but tell him that you need some time out alone with out the baby, whetehr it is once a week or once a month, what ever and TELL( do not ask) him that he needs to work with you here and figure out a good time where he will be able to stay home with the baby......If this does not work, then on a nioght that he is home with nothing planned, do what needs to be done and then go to the father and say something like this, "The baby is taken care of, all he needs is a bottle (whatever needed) at a such a time, I am going out for a bit, and then go, do not wait for a response. I actually do this and it works,( hubby doesn't have a choice in the matter). whatever he needs to do, make sure it is something easy, don't give him a whole list of things to do, just something that he will be able to do quickly (if possible), then he won't get stressed or anything........Sometimes men just don't get it and some men don't really know what to do with a baby, especiallya very young one at that, so maybe give a little boost there. If this fails, tell him that if he doesn't agree to something then you are going to hire a sitter for a couple of hours and go out, probably best to take the baby to their home, unless it is a relative...I also take my kids out with me at times, my frineds love little ones and have absosslutely no problem helping with them, especially when they were babies, nothing like holding a little one, unless you plan on going to a bar or something like that just go and take the baby with you. Why sit around and wait on this guy and wish you could go out as well, if the guy isn't going to help you then don't sit around and mope and get upset about it, it won't help you any whatsoever. The idea of having others over to your home is a good idea, even life after a baby can be fun and achievable, I guess it depends on how much you really want it.
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