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Topic : 05/29 Parenting Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 283
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Created on : Thursday, May 25, 2006, 09:42:01 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you a parent whose household is spinning out of control? Cindi says her daughter, Kristina, used to be a fresh-faced all-American beauty, but now, with seven tattoos, she looks like a freak! Cindi says that if her daughter gets inked one more time, she’ll cut her off. Then, Nancy was heartbroken when she learned her 17-year-old daughter had been keeping a devastating secret. See this teen's message about how opening up saved her life. And, when Nancy Davis was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 14 years ago, the doctor said her life was over. She knew she had to get better for her three young sons. See her heartwarming message for anyone dealing with an illness. Then, a mom struggles with 7-year-old triplets competing to be the best! Talk about the show here.

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May 26, 2006, 11:41 pm CDT

I'm offended already.

Why does having tattoos automatically stamp someone as a 'freak'? Just because the girl on the show has changed her look since her her 'innocent' childhood days (haven't we all?) doesn't mean that she is in any way less beautiful. Some might say that she looks better now.  

I'm sick of seeing people get told "You'll regret that when you're older" or "You'll look stupid when you're older". Its so ignorant! Most people get tattooed because it makes them happy. Yes, some people regret it, but not all. The body modification community is large, and its growing. Some people would be surprised to find out just how many older tattooed people there are. It shouldn't take special computer generated aging to see what it would look like.   

All one needs to do is look at Isobel Varley:  

  

Honestly, I don't think she looks ridiculous. And being such a well-loved person to appear at conventions, I highly doubt she regrets getting her tattoos and dealing with age. Especially since she got hers later in life.  

Its alright if you disagree with me, just know that other people have a right to do what they want to their bodies as long as it doesn't hurt them or anyone else. Having a few slightly wrinkled works of art on your skin at 60 is not a big deal.  

Oh well, I guess because the episode hasn't aired yet we'll just have to wait and see how this is handled. I hope Phil has done his research and doesn't just jump into how pretty of a girl the guest was before she started getting tattoos. Seeing the previews though of the computer generated aging as if they are trying to prove something about  older people with tattoos? Really makes me uneasy.   

 
May 27, 2006, 5:24 am CDT

Tattoos, Piercings, Weird Hair

Quote From: ghostie

Why does having tattoos automatically stamp someone as a 'freak'? Just because the girl on the show has changed her look since her her 'innocent' childhood days (haven't we all?) doesn't mean that she is in any way less beautiful. Some might say that she looks better now.  

I'm sick of seeing people get told "You'll regret that when you're older" or "You'll look stupid when you're older". Its so ignorant! Most people get tattooed because it makes them happy. Yes, some people regret it, but not all. The body modification community is large, and its growing. Some people would be surprised to find out just how many older tattooed people there are. It shouldn't take special computer generated aging to see what it would look like.   

All one needs to do is look at Isobel Varley:  

  

Honestly, I don't think she looks ridiculous. And being such a well-loved person to appear at conventions, I highly doubt she regrets getting her tattoos and dealing with age. Especially since she got hers later in life.  

Its alright if you disagree with me, just know that other people have a right to do what they want to their bodies as long as it doesn't hurt them or anyone else. Having a few slightly wrinkled works of art on your skin at 60 is not a big deal.  

Oh well, I guess because the episode hasn't aired yet we'll just have to wait and see how this is handled. I hope Phil has done his research and doesn't just jump into how pretty of a girl the guest was before she started getting tattoos. Seeing the previews though of the computer generated aging as if they are trying to prove something about  older people with tattoos? Really makes me uneasy.   

Isn't this a rite of passage for most teens? I am 42 ad got my first tattoo last summer. I have wanted one for 15 years. It has not changed me at all. I am the same person I always was, just a little more decorated.  

As far as teens go, any reputable tattoo artist won't put a tatt or pierce someone who is underage without parental permission. My son , who has been "Goth" for 3 years is judged by his appearance many times. His ears are pierced, he wears long earrings, jewlry, paints his nails black, etc. What people don't know when they see him is that he is an Honor Student, always has been. He has done plenty of volunteer work in our community , has a real job as a lifeguard, no less. But people fear him because of his looks. He is a kid and will have to conform soon enough. His teachers love him. He steps in when younger kids are being bullied or harrassed..and takes up for them. He loves puppies and kittens. I guess my point is society as a whole needs to stop judging others based on appearance. 

 
May 27, 2006, 7:49 am CDT

05/29 Parenting Dilemmas

I just had to respond.  I'm in my 40's, never had a tattoo, but planning on getting one - just one.  But that woman should thank God that that is her biggest problem.  My 15 year old step-son  has just been admitted into rehad - yesterday - for at least the next 3 weeks...and this may not be the end of it.     The kid is addicted to drugs, which is like a cancer eating this family alive.  I can only wish it were just tattoo's that we were concerned about.   

  

My son, who is 13, wants to get a tatto and I've told him when he is 16 he can get one...or a couple, but that's it.  When he's 18, he can do what he wants.  It's not drugs or booze, it's art for heavens sakes!  I know art to some, ruplusion to others.   

  

I have no desire to cover my body, but if that's what makes some one else happy, then so be it.  That woman should count her blessings, and realize that as long as her daughter is in school, is doing well, staying clean, staying sober, and not struggling with stubance abuse, she should be proud, happy, and grateful to God for what she has.  And give her daughter a great big hug for being so!!! 

 
May 27, 2006, 7:58 am CDT

Haven't see the show yet

so posting about it seems premature . . . but I agree with the beautiful lady pictured above; tattoos are a form of self expression that does not mark a person as a freak.  I also have to agree that any person under the age of 18 would have to have parental consent, but if the girl has gotten the tattoos without consent, knowing her parents wouldn't approve, then that is a problem because she isn't old enough to make those big decisions yet.  In the long run, and at a high cost, if this girl changes her mind, she can have the tattoos removed by laser these days (and in the future it will probably be even easier as technology advances).  I got my first tattoo at age 40 and wish I'd gotten it a long time ago.  I got my nose pierced at age 37 and loved it!  My ears were pierced at age 12 though and after all this time, they are in need of repair (I blame the big ear rings of the '80s on that!) so that is a caution to any piercings at a young age; they do need tending to and watched so they don't cause anyone to have to have them fixed later on in life, or easy as pie, just don't wear body jewelry when you don't feel like it!  Sounds to me like this mother is trying to put her daughter in a mold of her own design that has nothing to do with what this blooming teenager desires for her own life.  Is she stealing, doing drugs, getting bad grades in school, pregnant?  Doesn't sound like it.  So, this is a show about a superficial mother who can't accept her daughter's heart unless the package it came in meets her distorted standards.  If the child has the means, I say divorce your parent and move out so you can be yourself.  It's difficult enough to be a teenager much less one who is threatened at home by an overbearing parent.
 
May 27, 2006, 8:34 am CDT

Tattoos and getting older

My daughter is almost 40.  She is the administrator at a posh day care in an Alabama town.  She is alway needing to find clothes to hide her tatoos that she got after she was a married person. She's not embarrased by her tattooes.  She just doesn't want to draw unnecessary attention to them at work.   As her mother and as a person who grew up at a time when doing something like this was done mostly by uneducated, unambitious, nerdowells of a certain class of people, it hurt a little to see what she had done to her beautiful skin.  I know that reads like a snobbish thing to say but I grew up in a generation that looked down on people who would do that to their bodies.  My daughter had the skin of an angel.  Still does.  I would never say something negative to her about her tattoos and she will never read this because she is very busy and will not see the show coming up Monday or come to this site to read the messages.  Her daughter who will turn 20 late this year has her tongue peirced.  I have another granddaughter who will be 15 next February.  They are all so wonderful and smart and very easy on the eyes, one might say.  My daughter and her girls were never "out of control".  My daughter graduated college the same year her daughter graduated high school.  It was a week of joy and celebration.  I would get a glimpse of my daughter's tattoos and be sad for a minute but I would alway get quickly back to the love and joy of the moment.  Young people need to think of the time ahead before deciding to do such a permanently altering thing to their bodies.  People do judge, unfortunately.  Pretty people do get the jobs over someone who is plain. I don't believe it's fair either.  I'm fat and have psoriasis.  I know my chances over someone else who is not.  :)  And where was the mother when this teen got her first tattoo?  Rebellious teens will find someone to do the deed.  Forget the idea that a reputable "artist" would require a parent's consent.  Even so, it is still a risk.  Even a reputable "artist" can cause an infection.   Unless a person is in the entertainment business, tattoos are still looked on as common in a few circles.  Models who got them have changed their minds and had them removed.  When I saw that photo of the tattooed lady, all I could think was, "Oh my goodness.  Why would she need to do that?"  What drives a person, man or woman, to get so many of those things they would make it to the Guiness Book of World Records?  And I have to say that I am very grateful that my daughter doesn't seem to be interested in getting any more tattooes.  But there's always tomorrow.  She may change her job and go for it.  I love her, so I'll deal.  I'm sorry, I don't want to see that on her or my granddaughers.  I don't want to see their peirced tongues flicking in and out.  I see that many times where I work and I'm not impressed with those tongues that look as if they could use a good cleaning.  Listen guys, if you must peirce the tongue and you must flick that thing in and out so others can see it, please clean them regularly.  Thank you.
 
May 27, 2006, 8:53 am CDT

Dumb

Thats so dumb who cares if she chnaged into this punk person. people change. Get over it and let her be whatever she wants. I use to dress in nice colors and be all LA LA. Now i dress in black everyday and hot topic clothes!!. My mom dont care.
 
May 27, 2006, 9:18 am CDT

Nancy with MS

Nancy needs to get a different doctor or get into a support group. I have MS, I had a good doctor he didn't beat around the bush about what was the matter with me, he also said it wasn't in my head, he was very supported. He wouldn't let me go back to work, because of the stress. My husband helped me out a lot but at the same time he put stress on me. He passed away in 1997, I really don't think he understood the symptoms and the problems of MS. I have 5 kids. My two youngest were 8 and 9 years old, at the time I was diagnosed. everybody worked together to help me. Now that everybody is grown and have families of their own, I raise cocker spaniels, I make blankets, you have to learn to listen to your body, when you get tired, you sit down and put your feet up, you take a rest. The point I'm trying to make is your life is not over, you just have to make a few adjustments. HANG IN THERE!!!!!
 
May 27, 2006, 9:58 am CDT

Kristina the seven tattoos girl

Hi, I am a Mother of 2 and a wife of 10 years, I am also 33 years old. I Have 5 tattoos. And very successful in my life. I think its sad that your mom is saying "if her daughter gets inked one more time, she'll cut her off" I grew up in a Mormon Loving caring home. My Mom And Dad freaked when they saw my first inked, but she would never ever never never never say she would cut me off. for A mother to do this to her child just because she wants to get Inked, IS WRONG! If you love your child. you don't CUT THEM Off   

 Maybe, Kristina Needs to CUT OFF HER MOM!!!!!!!  

Parents need to pick and chose your battles. If she runs away in drugs drinks, Then I think you should drop a Mom Law down (that is when I take ever thing a way from MY Kids. they do get a bed and bedding no door no toys no life nothing if I am in a good mood they might get there clothes.) but come on cut her off. Please! As Dr Phil says Are you kidding ME!!!  

Kristina she Needs to live with her choice,  And for And for the mom its called Love and Learning about Kristina and he accountabilities. Her Life!!!!  To The mom Take a chill PILL!!!!   

it seems like she is a good girl. Good Luck Kristina   

From the very religious Mormon Mom that Likes to get Inked too!!!!   

 
May 27, 2006, 10:07 am CDT

I am a survivor....

I had a head injury when I was 20 by getting hit on the head with a metal in Mexico, and for no reason.  I am 30 now and very happy that I lived after my 4 month coma.  I walk with a walker but their are people that are a lot worst than me.  Overall all, life is awesome...Any questions, email me at    johnnygv1975@aol.com 
 
May 27, 2006, 10:11 am CDT

pass judgement to soon?

Quote From: ghostie

Why does having tattoos automatically stamp someone as a 'freak'? Just because the girl on the show has changed her look since her her 'innocent' childhood days (haven't we all?) doesn't mean that she is in any way less beautiful. Some might say that she looks better now.  

I'm sick of seeing people get told "You'll regret that when you're older" or "You'll look stupid when you're older". Its so ignorant! Most people get tattooed because it makes them happy. Yes, some people regret it, but not all. The body modification community is large, and its growing. Some people would be surprised to find out just how many older tattooed people there are. It shouldn't take special computer generated aging to see what it would look like.   

All one needs to do is look at Isobel Varley:  

  

Honestly, I don't think she looks ridiculous. And being such a well-loved person to appear at conventions, I highly doubt she regrets getting her tattoos and dealing with age. Especially since she got hers later in life.  

Its alright if you disagree with me, just know that other people have a right to do what they want to their bodies as long as it doesn't hurt them or anyone else. Having a few slightly wrinkled works of art on your skin at 60 is not a big deal.  

Oh well, I guess because the episode hasn't aired yet we'll just have to wait and see how this is handled. I hope Phil has done his research and doesn't just jump into how pretty of a girl the guest was before she started getting tattoos. Seeing the previews though of the computer generated aging as if they are trying to prove something about  older people with tattoos? Really makes me uneasy.   

  i believe people pass judgement to soon before actually knowing them. its like judging a book by its cover. i ,as well as my husband, both have tattoos, and i must say i love them. in fact i look forward to getting more. however i do know from past experiences that you do get looked down on and treated disrespectfully. we are no different than anyone else,we both have respectful, good paying jobs, we live in very nice neighborhood ,have4 wonderful children we are law abiding citizens and we even go to church!!!!!!!!!!! so please give me the respect i feel i deserve, know me as a genuine person (we also have feelings) before judging me!
 
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