Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Since she is almost 6 months old, have you started to put her on rice ceral? I just started last week and even though my son is a pretty good sound sleeper he now just falls asleep on his own once in bed. I use to have to sing to him or read to him for a half hour but now he just drops out since the feeding. If you haven't started ask your doctor if you can start with food now something that can make them sleep better. and then you might be able to transfer from your bed to her bed without the problem of her waking up.

Plus if the problem is that the crib is in your room so it wake your husband up when you try and tranfer her over, you might want to roll that crib out into the living room and try it out there so your husband can have his sleep. I have one of those husbands that NEVER gets up in the middle of the night and use to leave the room to sleep out in the living room so he could sleep through the night.

i think your one year old knows she'll get attention. you can't spoil really small babies, but you can spoil one year olds. indeed make a schedule. and put her in her crib at the set time, sit next to the crib, and read a book or something, but don't make eye contact, and don't talk to her. you taught her that if she cries, she will get the attention, the carrying around. and because she can't talk yet, she cries. so she isn't crying because she isn't loved enough, or NEEDS something, but just because she WANTS something. and sometimes kids can't have what they want. so sit next to her crib, and read a book, or do nothing, don't make contact, don't pick her up, just be somekind of statue. and let her cry, as hard as it may be, but you're there, she's warm and comfortable. she's well taken care of, so there's nothing that she really needs anymore. sit next to her crib, and move farther away every week, or for how long it takes, till she get's used to the first step, and keep moving away, untill she can sleep in her crib, with the door closed, without your presence. i don't know what kind of attention she wants during the day, but you can let her play on herself sometimes. even if at first she doesn't want to. but you're oldest is suffering because of her sister, and starts to act out aswell to get attention. because that is what the little one does too, even though she is very small she is smart enough to notice that if she acts out she will get what she wants. and i think that if there isn't done anything yuo will have one spoiled two or three year old that throws a lot of tantrums in a couple of years. so if you know that she has had everuything she needs, she has been fed, or it isn't time to feed her yet, she has a clean diaper. so there's nothing she really needs you can just let her cry. if you think there is something wrong, if she has a cold, or her stomach hurts, then of course you don't let her cry, but most mothers seem to be able to hear the difference in cries, so i hope you can too, so you can determine when she cries for attention, and when she's hungry or has a dirty diaper.

good luck with it,

annemiek

As a mother of 3 boys, the youngest of which is 8 weeks old tomorrow, I think the important thing to remember with anything we do with our children is only a problem if we see it as a problem (notwithstanding issues of abuse of course). For example, the family who sees co-sleeping as a solution to all family members getting quality sleep may be seen by another family as setting themselves up for ongoing years of children sleeping in the parents' bed. The co-sleeping family may not be concerned about this (or at least not in the beginning). We have had all of our children in bed with us in the early stages of their lives as it meant that I could breastfeed and simply go back to sleep. As I now have the third baby (and the eldest has just turned 4 I might add), if we did not do this I would be sleep deprived and I imagine not very nice to be around! I would like to congratulate you on managing to help your baby overcome his sleep anxiety early, but just remember, the "bad habit" you felt you might have had to break in the future would only be "bad" if you saw it that way. If you and your husband weren't comfortable with co-sleeping (which I guess you weren't) then you have done what is right for your family. Each of us can only do what is right for our own family.

I have never understood what the debate is about a child sleeping with its parents!  I come from a co-habitating family (my father was often out of town due to military/job) and I slept with my mother for the first 6-7 years and then on and off.  I am so very close to my mom and still will sleep in the same bed whenever I can. 

My two children slept with us the first five years of their lives (they are five years apart and so we only had 1 child in our bed, at a time).  I found that during that time, right before you drift off into sleep is such a magical time.  A time to share your thoughts about the day, a time to reflect, hash out your worries, reveal your dreams, laugh and just talk.  It is a time to hold each other, cry if need be, and be a family without regard to the rest of the world. 

Each of them, on their own, decided that five years old was the time to leave our bed.  No tears, no anger, no threats, no sleepless nights begging them to stay asleep.  They decided and owned that decision.  But still, every morning, my two children (now 10 and 15) sneak into my room, to cuddle, and share, and talk about their days, ask for advice, and sometimes, give me advice.  But the important thing is, they TALK. 

Would I like more peace and quiet with my husband? Sure.  Do I get tired of the same joke I've heard every morning for the last 5 years from my son? Yes.  Do I want to hear everything my teenaged daughter wants to share?  Definitely not.  But someday, when they are gone leading their own lives, I will have peace and quiet, I will have time with only my husband, I will have no more children in my bed.  But for now ---Everyone, pile on the bed and let's talk!!!!

Do you give into co-sleeping because your child screams, cries or demands that you be with them all through the night?  Do you find that our child's refusal to sleep without you is making you exhausted?  Why do you give in and how old are your kids?