Topic : Teens and Sex

My 19 yr old daughter is living with a 23 year old admittedly bi-sexual man.  I am going crazy because she seems to be okay with this.  I didn't raise her this way.  I believe if you are gay, your gay and I have no problem with that, I don have a problem with my daughter being with a bi-sexual man.  He supposedly hasn't had sex with a man in years, but he has cheated on my girl numerous times and she keeps forgiving him.  He asks her if it's okay if he touches another womans breasts and that seems to be okay with her too.  

  

She was not raised this way, and it's driving me crazy.  She is exposing herself to aids/hep c and std's.  I've tried to explain to her that if a man really loves you, he wouldn't ask these type of things of you. 

  

Help!!  I'm trying not to be overprotective, and unfortunately her friends tell me all of this information.  I am going to ask them not to tell me anymore, as she has made her choice to be with this man and I shouldn't be interfering. 

Sounds like she's made her mind up.  

  

Seems like you can use her remaining time creating a scrapbook of times past when she had a glow about her by using snippets of her young past and current presence to show her la joie de vie in picture and fabric.  

  

That is, have a scrapbook on a table she can see when she sees you and ask if she'll help select pictures and trinkets she would like others to remember her by. 

  

Maybe she'll wonder what you're doing and you can explain that her chosen path may have unintended consequences and you'd rather not memorialize that, but the way you know her best.  

  

But let her know that you hope this scrapbook doesn't have to be the final or only one. 

  

  

If you know that a good friend of your daughters is having sex, (16 year olds )and the parents have no Idea. Should that be shared with them. Need to know. I feel that I would want to know if it was my daughter.  

Aaron, can you tell me why she wants you to wear one?  Maybe I missed something, but is it because she doesn't want you having sex with someone else?  Where is the trust then?  I thought a chastity device was something of the past?  I didn't think they were even for real!   

  

If you have to wear one then so should she..... 

I have often wondering the same thing.  I would want to know too.  I think it would depend on how close you were to the kid and to the parents.  I think I would bring it up in conversation and ask her maybe if she knows anything about your daughter and sex issues see how she is about that and go from thier.   

  

I was going to mention something to the parents in my situation but my son is no longer close to his friend as they moved so I never did.  But I would want to know.  Then again, I found a condom (used) the other day, and I chringed, and now I am not sure if I want to know!)   

  

Which brings my question?  Should I ask my son about the condom?  Should I tell him I know about it?  HELP! 

hi.i'm 17 and if i had a friend and i was close to that person i would bring the subject with my friend...and tell them to sit down and talk to her and maybe include the person she is having sex with in the conversation.

I'm not really sure why she wants me to wear one. The whole idea just freaks me out, and is so repulsive. I don't even have sex with anyone, not even her. Why would she be afraid of me having sex with someone else when I won't even have sex with her? That's what is confusing me here as to why she wants me to wear one. I don't want her to wear one. I don't know why she even brought it up. Lately, she has been showing me different pictures of them and asking me which one is best fit for me!!!!! Yuck!!!!! I have seriously considered breaking up with her and changing my email and phone number. She is insane. She was so lovely at first, what the hell happened. -Aaron Frumkin afrumkin@email.com

I really think she should tell her how you feel about this, and readlly question her as to why she wants you to wear this.  If she gets mad at you for asking then so be it.  Tell her this makes you uncomfortable to even talk about it.  What do you say when she shows you the pictures?  Be honest with her about this and maybe she will realize if she continues to pressure you anymore, you might not be around much longer.....good luck!

What's the right thing?  My son is 15.  I was talking to my husband on the phone, while I was in my son's room looking for a book that I had lent him.  I was not snooping.  I happened to come across a porn magazine.   

  

I immediately felt sick and wanted to cry or throw-up, or both.  The magazine was really raunchy.  My husband said, well he is fifteen, do you want me to talk to him?  I said about what...how to hide your porn better?  My husband just laughed.  I did not know what to do.  Should I leave the magazine there?  Throw it away and say nothing?  I want to confront him, but I don't want to because of the trust factor.  I don't want it in my house, but I don't want to flip out.  He knows about sex, periods, AIDS and STD's and all that stuff.  He does not have a steady girlfriend.  He is popular in school, on the Honor Roll, is very trustworthy.  He doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs.  We spend a lot of time with our kids and we know where he is at all times.  We don't live in a neighborhood, so he's not hanging out at other peoples houses.   

  

We have one computer in a neutral location where my children are supervised, so cyber porn is not an issue (yet).  My husband knows how I feel about porn.  I am proud of my boys, they are good kids.  This is the first time I have ever been confused about how to handle an issue.  Help. 

Even though it might not be your own personal values, I wouldn't be to upset about it. He is probably just curious about sex, and yes porn doesn't give a good picture about sex but he knows that as well. 

  

I myself would be more worried if he wasn't thinking about sex since he is rougly the age where most teens will have sex for the first time (16.9 in the US 16.4 in the Netherlands Durex global sex survey 2004.) 

  

If you really want to talk to him about the magazine you can but you must make sure that you talk to him on an equal level (as an adult) and explain to him that it are not your PERSONAL standards. DO NOT raise your voice or be parenting towards him because he will as a response get more porn because teens just don't like authority. And yes even if you forbid porn he can get it from friends when he's there. 

  

Anyway I wouldn't make a to big a deal from it, it probably just a passing fase when he will get a steady girlfriend the porn will probably stop. Though he might start having sex with her after a while, but don't worry he won't hop on any girl he sees because teens are selfconcience and therefore he needs to trust the girl completly before he will engage in sex for the first time. Remember if he didn't have your standards then he would already have had sex. 

  

Porn will not affect when they start having sex, how they have sex it will just spark there inmagenation.