I was 15 when I had my daughter. I hid my pregnancy from everyone including myself for 8 1/2 months. When I told my mom, she put her arms around me and told me everything would be okay. SHe provided me with the facts and the strength to make a decision as to what I was going to do. I chose "open adoption". My mom and I met with an attorney to find out more about "open adoption". The attorney handed me a file of a couple seeking to adopt a child. I glanced at the file for a moment and then was told that the attorney and I would meet again to see more files and to pick a perspective couple. (Little did I know, the second meeting would not take place and the file I took a glimpse at was the couple the attorney chose.)
The time had come, I was in labor. I was scared, numb, and full of emotion. SHe was born on June 17, 1991 at 4:47pm. (This date happens to be the birthday of both my father and my sister.) When she was finally given to me in my room, all I could do was hold her, kiss her forehead, tell her I loved her, and that I was sorry. I had her for three days until it was time to sign the papers. I sat in a chair surrounded by four nurses, the attorney, and my mom. I reached the first place to sign and I could not do it. I looked up at my mom like I was Five years old, seeking guidance. SHe bent down and whispered in my ear, "This is an omen. God took Goeffery (A son my mom lost shortly after his birth) from me so that he would be there to watch over your baby girl." That was all I needed. A calm set over me and away I signed.
Three months had passed and life was getting back to normal, or as normal as it could be. I was walking home from school and my mom was at the gas station waiting for me. I instantly knew something was wrong. My mom told me that she had received a phone call from the adopting family and my daughter had been diagnosed legally blind. She had Nystagmus. She could tell you were human but not wether you were male or female. She could only see in black and white shadows. The couple who had her decided that she was taking too much time from their three year old son. They wanted me to have custody and them to have visitation rights. I, however, did not agree. She was taken to an adoption agency for minority and handicapped children. This agency found a couple that was seeking a sight impaired child to adopt. I met this couple and talked with them for a while. I found out how wonderful these people were and had no hesitations in giving my daughter to them.
THE OMEN...This couple took Courtney into their lives and kept me in their lives as well. Courtney knows she was adopted and she knows where and who she came from. I receive pictures and letters every year. Best of all is that this couple made it so Courtney can see with the help of glasses. They love her and she is happy....She has an angel watching over her.
I never did regret what I did. I know she needed more than I could have ever given her. I love her and think of her and her mom and dad everyday.
Thank you for reading my story and....BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...
