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Topic : My Adoption Story

Number of Replies: 413
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:24:13 pm
Author : dataimport
Share your stories of adopting and raising kids, or being adopted, with us.

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July 23, 2005, 2:50 pm CDT

What if it doesn't go so well?

 
July 23, 2005, 2:50 pm CDT

My Adoption Story

 
July 23, 2005, 2:51 pm CDT

My Adoption Story

 
July 25, 2005, 8:18 am CDT

What if it doesn't work?????

You ask the question - "What if it doesn't work?"....There are no guarantee's in parenthood unfortunately.  None of these little gaffers are born with instructions and we can only do the best we can do at that moment i time.  I'm a Child Protection worker (Social worker) in Alberta and have fostered over 60 kids along with my  husband and we adopted our son 9 years ago. I have seen some very fortunate childreen who have been lucky enough to be adopted an dothers who have passed from foster  home to foster home and then people begin to question why these kids are so angry when they hit their teens. We also have 2 children each biologically....I defy anyone to figure out by our actions which one is adopted....and while he came with some questions about his prenaatal care and health everything has turned out wonderfully.

 

I often tell the story of when I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 22 years old.  I was very very sick during the pregnancy and ended up in hospital for the last two months before she was born - in fact they induced her some 6 weeks early as they were not sure if I could last that much longer to deliver her I was that ill.  At the same time I had a friend who sailed through a very "normal" pregnancy...I delivered a very tiny but healthy baby girl who has some minor learning disabilities around reading. but who graduated from College last year.  She delivered a little girl who has an extreme case of cerbral palsy who is not able to do anything really - fed through a G tube, has never sat up or walked on her own etc....My point being that even in giving birth to your own it might not "work out" the way you want it to but I believe a loving, structured environment with parents who are open to reading and learning all they can about everything can work miracles.

 

Good Luck

 

Cheryl

 
August 1, 2005, 8:04 pm CDT

adoption

i gave a child up fo adoption 26years ago.. this was the hardest thing i could ever do. the worst day of my life...... i gave her up so she could have a loving home. i was 16 when i found out i was expecting her i allready had one son that turned 1 the day i found out for sure i was pregant. i had trouble controling my anger. because i was so young .. this is something that i learned with age. so at this age i gave her up.... the people that raised her did a good job i guess.. she commented sucide at the age of 16... they did not let me know about it for 4 years.  then only gave me little info on her .  they did send me 1 picture and wrote me a letter telling me she wanted to find me and meet me when she turns 18. she did not make it  .  all the contacting was done thru the adoption agency. they sent me a paper that read like a funeral reading.  with a drawing of her on the back of the paper....  this was all they sent ...  they did not let me know where she was buried at .  i needed to go to her grave and talk to her .. i know that his isnt something that is easy for me to hear . so thru help of this computer i went to work.. i had to find her.  i had to tell her good buy and tell her i was so sorry.  if i had of not did what i did she might be here..  from what i was told she was helping a friend by talking him out of killing himself then went a did it herself .  the worst part he lived.... i did finialy find her . it was very emontally for me  the 2 nd... hardest thing i had to do .  it did take me years to do this but i did.  and i dont feel any better now that i did.. the only thing that keeps  me going is one day i will see her  .... i hope it is in heaven......  this is the only thing i can cling to to keep me sane......
 
August 5, 2005, 9:15 pm CDT

I was Adopted too

Quote From: jellybelly

i gave a child up fo adoption 26years ago.. this was the hardest thing i could ever do. the worst day of my life...... i gave her up so she could have a loving home. i was 16 when i found out i was expecting her i allready had one son that turned 1 the day i found out for sure i was pregant. i had trouble controling my anger. because i was so young .. this is something that i learned with age. so at this age i gave her up.... the people that raised her did a good job i guess.. she commented sucide at the age of 16... they did not let me know about it for 4 years.  then only gave me little info on her .  they did send me 1 picture and wrote me a letter telling me she wanted to find me and meet me when she turns 18. she did not make it  .  all the contacting was done thru the adoption agency. they sent me a paper that read like a funeral reading.  with a drawing of her on the back of the paper....  this was all they sent ...  they did not let me know where she was buried at .  i needed to go to her grave and talk to her .. i know that his isnt something that is easy for me to hear . so thru help of this computer i went to work.. i had to find her.  i had to tell her good buy and tell her i was so sorry.  if i had of not did what i did she might be here..  from what i was told she was helping a friend by talking him out of killing himself then went a did it herself .  the worst part he lived.... i did finialy find her . it was very emontally for me  the 2 nd... hardest thing i had to do .  it did take me years to do this but i did.  and i dont feel any better now that i did.. the only thing that keeps  me going is one day i will see her  .... i hope it is in heaven......  this is the only thing i can cling to to keep me sane......
Hi, I was adoped 11 years ago and I know that being adopted is hard on the kids. I was seven when I was adopted and I have not hear from my birthparent or my sisters. My brother was adopted with me by two wonderful people.
 
August 5, 2005, 9:28 pm CDT

oh thats horrible!

Quote From: jellybelly

i gave a child up fo adoption 26years ago.. this was the hardest thing i could ever do. the worst day of my life...... i gave her up so she could have a loving home. i was 16 when i found out i was expecting her i allready had one son that turned 1 the day i found out for sure i was pregant. i had trouble controling my anger. because i was so young .. this is something that i learned with age. so at this age i gave her up.... the people that raised her did a good job i guess.. she commented sucide at the age of 16... they did not let me know about it for 4 years.  then only gave me little info on her .  they did send me 1 picture and wrote me a letter telling me she wanted to find me and meet me when she turns 18. she did not make it  .  all the contacting was done thru the adoption agency. they sent me a paper that read like a funeral reading.  with a drawing of her on the back of the paper....  this was all they sent ...  they did not let me know where she was buried at .  i needed to go to her grave and talk to her .. i know that his isnt something that is easy for me to hear . so thru help of this computer i went to work.. i had to find her.  i had to tell her good buy and tell her i was so sorry.  if i had of not did what i did she might be here..  from what i was told she was helping a friend by talking him out of killing himself then went a did it herself .  the worst part he lived.... i did finialy find her . it was very emontally for me  the 2 nd... hardest thing i had to do .  it did take me years to do this but i did.  and i dont feel any better now that i did.. the only thing that keeps  me going is one day i will see her  .... i hope it is in heaven......  this is the only thing i can cling to to keep me sane......

I AM SO SORRY THAT HAD TO BE SO HARD FOR YOU. SEE I WAS ADOPTED AT BIRTH AND DIDNT FIND OUT UNTIL I WAS ALMOST 15 I THINK THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE AND WHAT MAKES IS WORST IS THAT NOONE TOLD ME I STUMBLED ACROSS MY ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND DID SOME RESEARCH AND FOUND OUT AND WHEN I TOLD MY PARENTS ALL THEY COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THEM YOU KNOW NOONE EVEN ASK ME HOW I FELT ABOUT IT BUT I GUESS I'M RAMBLING I JUST NEVER HAD ANYONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS AND IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YOUR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS ISSUE SO MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER. ALTHOUGH I WAS PRIVILAGED ENOUGH TO MEET MY BIRTH MOM AND HER OTHER DAUGHTER  I KNOW THAT IT WAS FOR THE BEST THAT SHE DID IT SHE WAS 13 WHEN SHE HAD ME AND WAS BY NO MEANS READY TO BE A MOTHER I KNOW IT WAS BEST THINGS HAPPENED THE WAY  THEY DID BUT IT STILL HURTS ME IT JUST FEELS LIKE A REJECTION I DIDNT KNOW THE DAUGHTER YOU GAVE UP FOR ADOPTION BUT I'M SURE SHE FELT THE SAME WAY AND I'M SURE SHE WANTED TO MEET YOU. EVEN IF JUST TO KNOW WHY YOU DID IT I THINK THAT WAS MY BIGGEST REASON FOR GETTING IN CONTACT WITH MY BIRTH MOM I HAVE SINCE NOt  SEEN HER I JUST FEEL THAT SHES NOT THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT TO ASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THOUGH THAT AND  WHATS WORSE IS THE FAMILY SHOULD HAVE CONTACTED YOU IMMEDIATLY WHEN IT HAPPENED YOU HAD EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW I KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN HEAVEN AND I'M SURE SHE WAS A WONDERFUL PERSON THAT JUST MADE SOME POOR CHOICES AND COULD FIND NO OTHER WAY OUT I HOPE THAT YOU MAKE SOME PEACE WITH IT AND REALIZE THAT THERES NO USE SAYING WHAT If WHAT WAS DONE YOU CANT TAKE BACK AND YOU CANT CHANGE THE OUTCOME BUT YOU CAN BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE AND MAKE IT THE BEST YOU CAN FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHER AND OTHER CHILDREN  

                                                      MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY 

                                                                                              KAYLEE 

PLEASE STAY IN CONTACT I THINK US TALKING COULD DEEPLY BENIFIT ONE ANOTHER MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS (kaylee_m_1985@yahoo.com) or you can just talk to me on here i would appreciate that so much.  

                                                                                  

 
August 22, 2005, 9:27 am CDT

Looking for biolological parent

 Hello to anybody that can help me and my adopted daughter who we adopted at the age of 7 weeks old... She was born in Lake Geneva on June 7 1971 at Lakeland Hospital, we have a name that we accidentally saw of the biological parents maiden name and I am sure by now has changed... that name was something like, "KOPAK" she we understand was also adopted by a family so we are hoping that who ever adopted her got better information about her past with any problems that we can maybe relate to my daughters problems... She now has 2 children, one is 12 a girl and a boy who is 7, it sure would be nice if we could get some medical info if any... We know nothing about the biological father either.... We also know that this girl named my daughter "Jennifer" and we changed that name to Machelle,... We adopted her through the State of Wisconsin Adoption Agency in Milwaukee..... We don't want to know any other information except medical if there is any.. and some info about the biological father... 

I know I had another plea on this network but I am hoping that someone would identify any of this info I have put in this letter... Thank you, rmarie@charter.net  

 
August 30, 2005, 1:43 am CDT

I am a birthmom

 Hi, I just wanted to stress something.  While in the process of chosing to place my daughter for adoption I went through extensive couseling by a wonderful and intelligent lady with a wonderful adoption agency.  They taught me one thing that will always stick!  They taught to replace the words "give baby up" and "put child up for" and other harsh phrases with the phrase..."place child for" and "placed my baby".  I think that this is important because we aren't giving our babies to the first person in line, we aren't "putting" a child up for sale and things like that....we placed the babies into families that will love them.  We did a GREAT thing!  We should not use words that make it look like we did some sort of aweful thing because that isn't the case.  I wished more people would use this wording. I know that Dr. Phil does says "place" instead of "given up".  I am not quite sure where he learned that from but I was very impressed to see that he used the word "place" instead of "given up".
 
September 1, 2005, 6:36 am CDT

Looking for son

55 years ago, my mother gave away my son at birth.  I was only 15 and did not know I was pregnant until the nite my son was born.  I know that is hard to believe, but I promise on the bible this is the truth.  The only info I have is the date he was born, where he was born, and possibly the last name of the women who my mother gave my son too.  I was heavily sedated and do not know the name for sure.  If I have found him (which I am not sure) he lives in the same state.  Since this happened 55 years ago I have no idea how to find him.  I have found excuses all my life not to find him.  I need to find him before I die.   If any one knows how to find him, please let me know.
 
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