Topic : Anorexia

Hi there,

Ok first of all, good on you for supporting and being there for your wife when it sounds like she's having a tough time right now.

I myself have suffered from an eating disorder, and although i have recovered and have maintained a healthy weight for the past two or so years, eating disorders have a way of hanging around in the background for a long, long, long time and can threaten to rear its ugly head years after recovery, usually when you least expect it.  I like to think of the power of the disorder as being on the same level as alcoholism or nicotine addiction - ex drinkers and smokers have to constantly be on guard so as to not fall off the wagon!  I think the key to success in ridding any sort of addiction or obsession is to have mechanisms in place prior to slip ups, as to prevent further descent when relapses do occur.

What type of mechanisms am i talking about? Well firstly, talk to your wife about her disorder.  Ask her how she is feeling, whether she needs help and above all, be supportive and encouraging - be a keen listener.  By bringing up her employment situation, you’re reminding her of her lack of control, her sense of failure and this only triggers her to look to other avenues (i.e. an eating disorder where she can feel in control, a sense of achievement and pride in her weight).  Be encouraging, remind her she's respected, loved and valued to remind her that although her 'career self' may be currently suffering low self esteem, her 'relationship self' is still valued and something to be proud of. 

Hope this helps... btw, time in between jobs can be a fabulous time in a persons’ life to discover hidden talents and passions and to explore new interests.  Why not explore together? Take her out to dinners, see a show, or take up a hobby together- after all you’re newlyweds- use the free time wisely and build on your relationship and HAVE FUN ;)

All the best

Hi everyone I'm Bailey and I'm new to this board

I think I may have an ED but I hate talking about it cuz I don't think it's serious and I know people are much worse off than me

I'm almost 5'6 and 21 and since school ended before the summer I wanted to get in shape. I was never overweight (I weighed just over 120 pounds at the time) but for some reason I really wanted to lose weight.

Now I weigh around 92 pounds on average and people have been telling me I look really thin but I just don't see it.

I know I don't eat well at all and it's getting so hard to hide it from my parents and I always have to make up excuses for why I don't eat dinner or lunch or anything. Sometimes I just lose it and binge on food and then for the next few days I feel awful because I gain like 3 pounds in one night!

I don't know what to do anymore because University is so stressful and exams are starting soon and I always seem to eat when I study but I'm so scared to gain weight it puts me in a bad mood thinking about it.

What should I do?

hey chica

i'm no doctor but i am a recovered anorexic. i know what it feels like to think you have a problem but think it isn't important enough for ppl to care. but you said yourself, ppl do care, they notice how thin you are. even in todays world, its a hard thing for people to address. you know, your friends dont know much about it, they dont want to offend you, they dont want to make it worse, they dont want to be wrong, and so on. but even when they dont say something they do care. and it is typical to not want to talk about it with someone. its a fear of being forced to change. last thing an anorexic wants is to do something against their will, hense they say its a control issue. but sweetie, when it comes to your health, sometimes you need help. it isn't a sign of weakness to ask for help or talk about it. i thought that too and i fought and fought to keep going alone. but in reality it shows strength and courage to take back the control that the disorder has over you, and to get over it and move on with your life. i hope that helps a lil...

<3 christy

I live in England and have what I think is Anorexia.  I married an Englishman and believe me, coming from California this is a real ‘lack of emotion’ experience.  Because of this cultural way of not talking about emotions, I noticed I stopped eating and only eat things like oatmeal.  My weight is at it lowest but still ok.

The thing I noticed about this is whenever I feel ‘out of control’ with my home environment or step children, etc…I become much more obsessed with my weight and dieting.  It gives me a feeling of some control in my life.

When my husband honestly tries to be supportive and suggest making new friends, going to an interview, doing some writing or work, I feel even more ‘ out of control’ because I feel he’s taking whatever control I have away.  I can react with rage because I feel he’s saying ‘I’m not capable’ therefore making me feel worse.

Rationally, I know how fortunate I am- and I think your only trying to love her and help.  But from my perspective, it might help if you ask for her opinion, for her advice in your life, depend on her a little for some comfort…in other words, let her know she’s needed, too….that you depend on her as well and maybe she can gain a little control in her life.  Say to her that you know she can make the decision to find a job and you’ll stop mentioning it because she’s capable and will know when to do this. Say you believe in her and focus on other things that don’t take control from her life.

Eating disorders are about control. Try to support her having control in other areas besides her weight and this might help. Also, she’s lucky that you love her so much- so I would also seek advice from an Eating disorder specialist asap.

hello, hola im a litlle confused because im ok with my weight, im think im on the right size, i keep a healthy diet, almost all the time.. sometimes i have cravings and eat anything i like... but after that i feel awfull, like very heavy and sometimes i look myself in the mirror but still look at me fat.. when im no fat at all.. is this a disorder? my family, friends and my boyfriend tell me that i look great! but sometimes only sometimes i feel like if wanted to be more and more thin. i really want to feel ok with my body... what can i do?

p.d.: excuse me if there are some mistakes in my message, thats beacause i speake spanish but im learning english. thank you!