Quote From: navygirl99After watching the show, I am convinced of two things-- the first is that this child has an overwhelmed mother. the second is that what ever issues the mother or father had were passed on to this kid. My brother, the fourth child, was a lot like this boy when he was younger. It was a real struggle for my family. But I see now looking back, that my mother probably handled the situation like this woman. She was overwhelmed for sure but if she had more patience and more control, my brother's life might have been less painful. He is a really great young man now, but it took years of patience to work out what could have been dealt with in childhood. He never ended up a criminal either but it took a lot of love from all of his siblings and my parents when he was a teenager to help. I hope this boy's mother is able to figure out how to be the mother he needs instead of molding this boy to be the child she pictures so he doesnt have to go through that pain.
lastly, I really believe that some of ht eanger and rage my own brother had was passed on through the womb from my parents own angers, insecurities and issues. And because they hadnt resolved these issues in themselves, they were only manifested ten fold in my brother's behavior. Since I am the oldest and now a mother myself, I learned this through observation. And while it may sound strange-- sometimes to me there isnt a more clear answer. The woman on the show wondered where this boy had gotten it all from and Dr. Phil kept trying to remind her to look to herself. Maybe when she was pregnant she or the father had some issues that left this anger in her that passed on to her son and part of his frustation is because he doesnt know why and part of her frustration is that she hasn't acknowledged it.
My mother now looks back and feels an enormous guilt over how she parented us. That has struck me deeply because as a mother I want to enjoy my kids and their gifts and not regret or wish I could go back and be a better mother. I hope this woman and her son can face the issues they have and grow to like each other. I dont fear for her physically and I think that was a bit of melodrama, but I do hope that she or her son will never have to feel that pain, remorse or guilt. That is much heavier, difficult and longer lasting than any terrible temper tantrum's effects.
I listen to Dr. Phil on my radio at work everynight and when I heard this particular episode I quickly went to my friends desk and told her "Jack (my four year old) and I are on Dr. Phil. " Her story mirrored my own in many ways. Several months back I would have also told Dr. Phil that the problem has to be neurological. Never mind that his father( we are divorced) and grandparents do not have the same experiences with him that I do-my son is out of control and I need somewhere to place the blame. Sure, I was easier in the disipline department than they were) but how could that produce such extreme behavoir as he was exhibiting? It is hard to be objective when you are involved in something you deal with every day. I had another baby, seperated from her father and moved into a new place all in one year yet I still wondered how could he be acting out this badly? It sounds obvious right? Well, for whatever reason I wanted some answers as to why my child was so extreme. We went to a counselour and I plead my case - he is mean to animals , to his baby sister, does the opposite of whatever I tell him to do, on and on and on. The doctor was blunt-what do you want me to say he is a future phsycopath? Put him in time out he told me and not every other time but every time whether the baby needs changing or dinner is burning on the stove. Oh, geez doc have you ever been a single mom? I fought this method for a while because he would not sit in time out, he would cuss and strike at me do I would end up spanking him which would escalate the turmoil between us. Ironicaly, the method I thought was not working ended up saving us and only because I began to view it the way the counselour suggested, come what may each and every time he would go to time out for bad behavoir. He cussed and hit and tried to do whatever he could to get a reaction from me but I began to not only be more consistent but listen to another gem of advice-stay calm. Amazing if used the right way it works!!! We still struggle with behavoir for sure but I have a tool (thank God) to use. I think the fact that time out was helping gave me a little needed confidence which you must have when parenting. Self esteem affects every area of your life, including parenting. The mom on the show feels like nothing she does or says affects her son so of course with this mindset it will be hard for her to regain control. I wanted to respond to this quote because of the hopeful message. When you have never has to deal with a child like her son or mine it is easy to say they are just a bad apple or step up to the plate mom but there is hope. I wish I could swap stories with this mom and let her know she can do it ( take control) once she realizes it is within her power to do so.
They're rowdy, wild and uncontrollable. They have no respect for authority, demand what they want when they want it, and there's hell to pay when they don't get it. If bratty kids are ruining your world, Dr. Phil has advice on taking back parental control. His first guest, Tabitha, feels like she's living with an abusive man, but it's not her husband; it's her 6-year-old son, Justin. He says, 'I hate you' at least 40 times a day and threatens her with knives and lighters. Is Tabitha contributing to the chaos? Then, Shelley says that her defiant 18-year-old daughter, Mackenzie, is worse than a brat. She's a high school senior who stays out until 5:00 a.m., then cusses at her mom for waking her up to go to school. Is it too late for Mackenzie to change her ways? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
