Quote From: hdrg4881I contracted the herpes virus when I was 19 and thought I had the perfect man, who to this day denies ever giving this virus to me. He was the 2nd guy I was wiht and I told him in hopes of him getting the test done.
I am 25 now and have been to ashamed to tell anyone that I have been with that I have the disease. I am just filled with guilt of holding in such a giant secret. I have been on Valtrex since I found out I was infected, and I have researched and found that this medication does decrease the chances of passing this on. I have remained in contact and friends with my past partners and have never been told of them contracting the disease.
I need to find a way and be confidant in myself enough to tell the person I am with that I do have this virus.
Please!! any advice would be fantastic!!
Hey there,
I understand your situation. I alos contacted herpes from somebody I trusted and they also denied it. I'm 25 aswell and I've had herpes for about 2 1/2 years. My outbreaks were pretty bad in the begginning but have slowly calmed down. But seriously, don't feel ashamed at all. You have nothing to be ashamed about......I know it's hard because you feel like you may be rejected, but try to remember that if you are rejected then that person is not the one for you. There are lots of fish in the sea, and you can and will find somebody who cares for you enough to look past that. What I did the first time I had to tell a new partner was sit him down alone and told him I had something to tell him. I like to joke around, and since it was an intense situation and decided I'd make the best of it, so I said, "you know how you get cold sores on you lips sometimes?? Well, I get them too.....just on a different set of lips........" He looked at me at first kinda shocked and then said "you mean you have herpes?" I responded "yes" and explained that it's not as bad as it seems and there are many precautions to take so we can avoid passing it. I told him it's never a 100% chance that he wouldn't get infected though. I suggested that if he still wanted to continue dating then I would be happy to give him some information on the desease so him could research it more and feel comfortable about his decision. I was crying as I told him, I felt ashamed of myself, but you know what, he didn't give up on me. He said that he would look more into it, but he cared for me a lot so he was willing to overlook that, and take what precautions were neccessary. He felt it was a risk he was willing to take. I got herpes because they person I was with was not honest with me about it, so I swore I would never do that to someone else, regarless if it didn't work out in my favor. I have also told somebody and they were no longer interested, and reacted very a very angry nature just because I told him- but trust me, you'll learn as you go that those people are not worth your energy anyways. I know it's hard not to get upset if your partner didn't accept it, but time heals all wounds and you just have to pick yourself up and move on. You'll see too, it's gets easier and easier to accept about yourself once you start being honest with people. I promise, there are good people out there who will accept you know matter what, and those who don't are not worth you time. And if you don't get a positive reaction from your partner just feel proud of yourself for getting the courage to tell them. And keep that courage with you for the next time! You can do it, stand tall and feel proud of yourself, and take all of your experiences, good or bad, as a learning curve! Don't be ashamed, your worth more than that!!!
