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Topic : Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Number of Replies: 188
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:58:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Having a baby is a major life change and postpartum depression can affect any woman who is pregnant, has had a baby, miscarried, or ended a pregnancy. Share advice and support here.

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November 9, 2006, 5:56 am CST

I need help

Quote From: kelly661

Hi!

I have struggles with PPD for three and a half years now.  After my first daughter was born, I was diagnosed with PPD.  I took medications and was fine.  It took me 10 months to get the courage to go to the doctor. 

After my second daughter was born, I was back on the medication but it didn't work.  They even doubled the dose.  I have now been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (their births were both c-sections. There is more to the story but it is very long!).   I have no idea how to get over this.  I am trying!  I have weeks where I can't do anything.  I don't want to get out of bed.  I am having suicidal thoughts but wouldn't actually do it (I don't think).  I want to see my kids grow up.  Thanks for listening!

 

 

I too struggle with ppd though I've never been officially diagnosed I've been given 2 different types of meds to try.  But they made me feel even more weird. I go to church regularly and get a blessing everytime I go but when I am at home alone with my kids I think too much and I scare myself into thinking I am crazy.  If anyone has time to help me plz email me at desmokim@yahoo.com
 
November 9, 2006, 6:47 am CST

We can help each other thru ppd

Quote From: shilohsmom

 I am a mother of to girls. Shiloh is 2 and Taylah is 6 months. I knew  something was wrong but I thought it was just me trying to get back on my feet. With Shy I did  not have depression but I did with Tay I was.  A  friend came to see from 6 hours away.  She knew right away what was wrong. She told my mom and she agreed but didn't know what to do. My friend told my husband and he took  action.  I thought he would find me a bad mom but he is very supportive and tries to explain it to others. My family understands and cares but my grandfather is having trouble with it.  My husband's family doesn't know about it because the are really hard on me. They hold things against me. I think that makes it worse. I had a person I thought was a friend but she turned out not to be. She doesn't believe that it exists. She has withdrawled herself from me. I'm glad because she made it worse. I get scared when we or my family tells someone that I have it that they don't understand it . I'm glad that I have a great husband to help and believe in me. Everyone thinks of Susan Smith and Andrea Yates when you say something about it or they agree with Tom Cruise.
I am a 23 year old mom of two beautiful kids, Austin my son is 2and1/2 years old and my daughter Hayley will be one in a month.  I was "normal" until I had my first child, after that I was scared!Scared to drive,be alone and so much more.  I go to church and get blessed everytime but when I am by myself with my kids I feel so alone and scared.  My in-laws don't understand what I'm going through and my awesome husband just doesn't know how to help me.  I am looking forward to talking to you soon so we can help each other.  Email me @desmokim@yahoo.com
 
November 10, 2006, 8:03 pm CST

New Mom

Hi

 

I am a new mom of a beautiful girl. This past week I had to put a call into my OB b/c i had to desire to hold or feed my baby. She (my OB)  had me call up a physigist (sp). She then but me on Lexapro and what's me to have consuling once a week. I am staying with my in-laws and they are a great help to me, but i was wondering if there was anyone else out there that has been on this medication and has it helped them? Also can anyone tell me how long will this last.  I want to go home and go back to work and i want david and my baby and i to start to be our own little family. I have been on the meds for about 3 days and i can now hold and feed my baby but i still have this heavy feeling in me. Today i had two anxietiy attacks i feel so bad i just want to be *feel* normal. Please advise.

 

**If anyone would like to talk please feel free to email me at mb20lpfan@aol.com.**

 

Thanks for your time,

Alicia

 
November 11, 2006, 9:28 pm CST

HELP! My sister in law is driving me crazy

My brother and his wife haven't been married long. They just had a baby on August 31st and his wife is going crazy. She blows things way out of proportion. She thinks my bestfriend wants my brother and that my brother wants her. She wont let my brother come over to my parents house alone or if my bestfriend is here. (My bestfriend lives here with my parents and I.) She's always calling my brother such horrible names and she thinks he's the worst guy she could have ever been with. She's mad at my parents for not kicking my bestfriend out because she says that if they really loved her, they would have put her out onto the street. (In other words, she's trying to make us choose between my bestfriend and my sister in law.)

She doesn't think she needs help. But they had a friend over to their apartment the other day and my brother offered the girl a drink. (Proper right?) Well his wife got jealous and this caused an arguement. They also work together, so when my brother talks to girls at work she confronts them. In fact, she confronted a girl who's a lesbian and accused her of wanting my brother.

She wasn't this way before the baby. She was always happy. Now she's very bitter and always arguing with my brother.

 

My brother is the nicest guy on the planet. He's very quiet and passive. If it helps to realize what kind of guy he is. He waited....meaning. She's the only girl he's ever been with. He's not like most guys. I know he would never cheet on her but because of her accusations, he's actually starting to think he's this horrible person and doubting himself. The baby is almost three months old and he doesn't even feel like she's his because his wife always calls her "her baby" and doesn't treat him like a father. In fact, my mom was holding the baby and my mom said "are you hungry" before anyone could say anything, my sister in law stood up and said "don't worry, I'll do it. Don't get up" in a smart ass way to my brother. My brother said "if you would have asked I would have done it"  her responce back was "I shouldnt' have to ask"....but if she doesn't give him a chance. How can he even have a time to respond? She doesn't let him do things then gets mad at him.

 

It's driving my family crazy and tearing us apart. My bestfriend who she thinks is so horrible, has a boyfriend who she loves. She has given the baby gifts and oftered to baby sit to help out when needed. Now that she knows my sister in law hates her, she avoids her. Even though this is her house, she leaves when they come over so she wont cause problems. In fact, she tries to stay away as long as possible so my parents can see their only grandchild.

I'm not clueless either. If I ever thought my brother would do this sort of thing, or if I ever thought my bestfriend would, I'd say so. They are both very innocent people, who aren't like others and I can't stress that enough.

 

We don't know what to do. I've thought of calling Dr Phil to see if he does house calls because she'd never agree to go on the show. But I know they wouldn't want to air their "dirty laundry" on national Tv. At the same time, I know he'd give her the "tough love" or "truth" they needed to hear. I want my brother to be happy but I know she's making his life misserable! Please someone, give me and my family some advice.

 
November 29, 2006, 10:14 am CST

It's the worst feeling

On June 13, 2006, I was admitted to the hospital to have an induction.  My third child was coming that day, and I was so excited to see him.  I couldn't wait to have this baby, as my heath was becoming an issue with this pregnancy.  After about 10 1/2 hours of mild labor, my water broke.  I felt so happy, it was getting close.  I knew, being my third delivery that he would be arriving very soon.  Then, all hell broke loose.  The umbilical cord was coming out first, and within seconds there were 10 people surrounding my bed, yelling, hurrying. I was completely put under and within 12 minutes my son was born, via emergency c-section.  I missed it.  My husband missed it (they wouldn't let him in the room).  The moment we had so been waiting for was stolen.  After I realized what happened, the guilt became more than I could handle.  It was the worst feeling. Then, dealing with a larger than normal incision on my tired body (because they were in a hurry) just doubled all my feelings.  I didn't realize just how much trouble I was in until the day we left the hospital.  I didn't want to leave.  I couldn't do it.  How could I be expected to take care of this baby when I felt so horrible.   I cried all the way home, and for about 2 weeks straight after that.  It was the worst feeling.  Here was this most beautiful baby and he could have died before he ever had the chance to take his first breath.  My other two children, a son 12, and a daughter 9, just didn't know what to do, and I couldn't help them understand because I didn't understand it myself.  I didn't get off the couch, I didn't shower, I didn't eat, I didn't do anything but hold the baby and cry.  I was in a sprial straight down and couldn't do anything about it.  It got so bad, my husband call the doctor, without my knowledge, and took me for help.  I'm better now, although some days I still feel very sad.  I do blame myself for the way Jesse was born, because if I hadn't had the induction, maybe he could have came along the natural way (as my other two did), and not so tramatically. I do, however, count my blessings because he is here, he is healthy, and he is so much stinkin fun.  I can't change the past, but I can make the future something to look forward to for all three of my babies.   
 
November 29, 2006, 12:34 pm CST

Is There hope w/out meds?

I have been struggling w/depression ever since I can remember.  I am 30, married w/ three beautiful children....healthy, a nice home and I am able to stay at home and care for them.  I know that something w/me is not right and that my thoughts, actions and blow-ups are not normal or safe.  I hate the person that I become when I get into these "rutts".  I am just not happy and most days I have the "what's the point" attitude.  I have seen counselors and therapist and I am well educated in the natural, homeopathic modalities as well as the nutritional aspects that come w/depression.  I read books, I take classes and I seek out all, or most avenues to be a better person, but nothing seems to stick or work.  What is wrong w/me?  How do I live life like it is my last day w/out it actually being the last day.  Or enjoy what I do have w/out having to lose it all.  And.....and this is a big one.....w/out meds?

 
November 29, 2006, 2:35 pm CST

PPD

I am a monther of 4.  I have 4 children.  22 years, 19 years and 6 month old twins.

 

My husband and I were under the impression he could not have children, but the Dr's were wrong.  We have been married 7 years and now blessed w/ identical twin baby boys.  I love them with all my heart however I do suffer from PPD.  In the begining of my pregnancy, my mom was in the hospital due to  symptoms of her cancer.  She died 11/25/05 (the day after Thanksgiving), my 19 year old son was preparing to leave for Marine boot camp (nothing I recommend for a pregnant mom!), we were planning my daughters wedding  and I was severely anemic.

 

When the babies were born, thank God they were healthy and the pregnancy went very well for my age (41 at delivery).  After they came home, they suffered from colic and so the depression began.  I felt that as an experineced"" mom I should be able to handle this without help.  I was completely sleep deprived and was still morning the death of my mother and missing my son more than ever. 

 

I still have not asked for anti depression medication, I am hoping that I can snap out of this.  I sometimes just want to run away.  I rarley get a break from the babies and then feel guilty when I do.  I have such mixed emotions, at times I just can't  wait until I can break free but I am scared that I wont come back..no kidding..never ever come back.  Then at times, I just can't stand the thought of being apart from them for even one second.  I work from home and have a wonderful nanny that cares for them when I work..but I do get cabin fever.

 

Any thoughts or helpful hints would be appreciated.

 

Sherry

 
November 29, 2006, 2:43 pm CST

Never Give UP

Quote From: retireddj

I very very depressed, for over 16 years, dealing with the death of my mother and having to move over 1,000 miles after loosing lots of things in the hurrcaines of 2004, was living in Fl. at the time, when the place I was living in was hit by 3 hurrcaines. My family will not talk to me, I live all alone with my dog. I'm thinking of ending it all. Just wish I could have a friend to talk to everyday. thanks bye

Hey There,

 

Gosh when I read you message it made me sad to think that you would end it all after 16 years.  I am sorry for all the loss you have had in your life.  I lost my mom last year, and it's very difficult going through the holidays for the first time.  I don't have "the answer" but I do know that you can get better.  Seek help and maybe join a local church.  I know that my faith has seen me through many tuff times.  May God bless and heal your heart.

 

P.S.  I love dogs, I have three and 5 horses!  My husband calls me EllieMay from the Beverley Hillbillies.

 

Sherry

 
November 29, 2006, 6:30 pm CST

Have you read Brooke Shields' book?

Quote From: shawcnc

On June 13, 2006, I was admitted to the hospital to have an induction.  My third child was coming that day, and I was so excited to see him.  I couldn't wait to have this baby, as my heath was becoming an issue with this pregnancy.  After about 10 1/2 hours of mild labor, my water broke.  I felt so happy, it was getting close.  I knew, being my third delivery that he would be arriving very soon.  Then, all hell broke loose.  The umbilical cord was coming out first, and within seconds there were 10 people surrounding my bed, yelling, hurrying. I was completely put under and within 12 minutes my son was born, via emergency c-section.  I missed it.  My husband missed it (they wouldn't let him in the room).  The moment we had so been waiting for was stolen.  After I realized what happened, the guilt became more than I could handle.  It was the worst feeling. Then, dealing with a larger than normal incision on my tired body (because they were in a hurry) just doubled all my feelings.  I didn't realize just how much trouble I was in until the day we left the hospital.  I didn't want to leave.  I couldn't do it.  How could I be expected to take care of this baby when I felt so horrible.   I cried all the way home, and for about 2 weeks straight after that.  It was the worst feeling.  Here was this most beautiful baby and he could have died before he ever had the chance to take his first breath.  My other two children, a son 12, and a daughter 9, just didn't know what to do, and I couldn't help them understand because I didn't understand it myself.  I didn't get off the couch, I didn't shower, I didn't eat, I didn't do anything but hold the baby and cry.  I was in a sprial straight down and couldn't do anything about it.  It got so bad, my husband call the doctor, without my knowledge, and took me for help.  I'm better now, although some days I still feel very sad.  I do blame myself for the way Jesse was born, because if I hadn't had the induction, maybe he could have came along the natural way (as my other two did), and not so tramatically. I do, however, count my blessings because he is here, he is healthy, and he is so much stinkin fun.  I can't change the past, but I can make the future something to look forward to for all three of my babies.   

It's called "Down Came the Rain" and she talks about her experience with PPD.  There are some slight variations, but your story sounds a lot like hers.  She had to have an emergency c-section as well and had all sorts of problems afterwards.

 

It was also very similar to my story.  I didn't have the caesarean, but there were times when I felt like driving off a cliff.  Thankfully, and obviously, I didn't do anything of the sort.  If I had, then I wouldn't have the three glorious children I've got now.

 

Thank you for sharing your story and showing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Bye from Australia.

Ruthieg

 Australian Flag Hooroo Family Portrait 





 
November 29, 2006, 6:45 pm CST

Does your husband help out?

Quote From: sherrym38

I am a monther of 4.  I have 4 children.  22 years, 19 years and 6 month old twins.

 

My husband and I were under the impression he could not have children, but the Dr's were wrong.  We have been married 7 years and now blessed w/ identical twin baby boys.  I love them with all my heart however I do suffer from PPD.  In the begining of my pregnancy, my mom was in the hospital due to  symptoms of her cancer.  She died 11/25/05 (the day after Thanksgiving), my 19 year old son was preparing to leave for Marine boot camp (nothing I recommend for a pregnant mom!), we were planning my daughters wedding  and I was severely anemic.

 

When the babies were born, thank God they were healthy and the pregnancy went very well for my age (41 at delivery).  After they came home, they suffered from colic and so the depression began.  I felt that as an experineced"" mom I should be able to handle this without help.  I was completely sleep deprived and was still morning the death of my mother and missing my son more than ever. 

 

I still have not asked for anti depression medication, I am hoping that I can snap out of this.  I sometimes just want to run away.  I rarley get a break from the babies and then feel guilty when I do.  I have such mixed emotions, at times I just can't  wait until I can break free but I am scared that I wont come back..no kidding..never ever come back.  Then at times, I just can't stand the thought of being apart from them for even one second.  I work from home and have a wonderful nanny that cares for them when I work..but I do get cabin fever.

 

Any thoughts or helpful hints would be appreciated.

 

Sherry

If not, why not?  They're his kids too.  Maybe he could take care of them for you, for a couple of hours so you can go for a walk.  Getting out of the house without the twins might be a great stress relief for you.  Try not to feel guilty.  As Dr. Phil says, "You can take care of those boys better if you take care of their mother."  Give yourself a break.  You need it.  Even a 21 year old mother would have her hands full with twins.

 

You are doing the best you can, and that's obviously pretty darn good, or you wouldn't come back.  What I will suggest is that you go to the doctor and get a prescription for some anti-depressants.  It is not a sign that you are a failure as a mother.  On the contrary, it is quite the opposite.  There is no shame in getting help from chemical sources.  You might be surprised at how well they help.  Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.  They don't even need to know, if you don't want to tell them.

 

Take care of yourself, so you can take care of your family.

Bye from Australia.

Ruthieg

 

 
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