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Topic : HIV/AIDS Support Group

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Created on : Tuesday, August 15, 2006, 11:33:28 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
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lucky35
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August 20, 2006, 7:38 am PDT

Worried about past life choices

Hi, I have not been diagnosed with HIV, but my brother is positive and my friend was recently in the hospital for HIV/AIDs complications. He is now doing ok and out of the hospital. I went to visit him in the hospital and while I was leaving, I gave  him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I have since been worried that I could have contracted the virus by kissing him on the cheek while he was sick in the hospital! I just recently got married when I was 34 and in my 20s I was pretty wild. I worked as a stripper and I slept with 4 of my customers. I also drank a lot of alcohol back then and would have lots of unprotected sex and one-night stands. I even worked at a "massage" parlor for 1 month, too. My life is totally different now, but sometimes I wonder, "what if I have HIV from the life I lead in my 20s?" I went and got tested a few years ago, but I never went back for the results. I feel sure if I was positive they would of called me, though. I'm thinking of buying that home HIV kit soon. I really don't think I have it, but I would really like the peace of mind knowing for sure. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
 
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marsandvenus
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September 11, 2006, 1:40 pm PDT

My husband is hiv

 

 

  Hell-o out there,

 

               This is my first time on the discussion board, matter of fact I just found this today after watching Dr.Phil.  My husband has been diagnosed with hiv about 9 years ago, and we have been married for 11 years.  He was diagnosed 2 years after we were married.  The doctors said that he had hiv for over 4-5 years ago.  I was blessed because I diagnosed as negative.

 

 

                One of the problems that we have is our sex part of our marriage.  My husband feels really bad about what has happened to him and our marriage, then on top of all of this he was  diagnosed with being a diabetic about 3 years ago,  which  now he has problems with his impotence.  This is and has caused even more problems in our marriage to be frustrated and he feels less than a man, because of this.  I stay frustrated because I am able to have sex .  I love my husband what would you do?  He really is a good husband.   
 
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dlrsdrnll
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October 13, 2006, 2:24 pm PDT

Lucky

Quote From: lucky35

Hi, I have not been diagnosed with HIV, but my brother is positive and my friend was recently in the hospital for HIV/AIDs complications. He is now doing ok and out of the hospital. I went to visit him in the hospital and while I was leaving, I gave  him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I have since been worried that I could have contracted the virus by kissing him on the cheek while he was sick in the hospital! I just recently got married when I was 34 and in my 20s I was pretty wild. I worked as a stripper and I slept with 4 of my customers. I also drank a lot of alcohol back then and would have lots of unprotected sex and one-night stands. I even worked at a "massage" parlor for 1 month, too. My life is totally different now, but sometimes I wonder, "what if I have HIV from the life I lead in my 20s?" I went and got tested a few years ago, but I never went back for the results. I feel sure if I was positive they would of called me, though. I'm thinking of buying that home HIV kit soon. I really don't think I have it, but I would really like the peace of mind knowing for sure. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

By all means get tested.  That way you can get the treatment you need to stay alive.  I know someone that found out they have it ten years ago.  He is still living a very active full life.  When they told me they were positive, I thought he was telling me they had the dealth sentence and they have lived ten years.  SO BE SURE AND GET TESTED NOW!!

Let me know how it turns out.  The way they found out is he went to give blood and they tested them.  Good luck.
 
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dlrsdrnll
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October 13, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

Good husband

Quote From: marsandvenus

 

 

  Hell-o out there,

 

               This is my first time on the discussion board, matter of fact I just found this today after watching Dr.Phil.  My husband has been diagnosed with hiv about 9 years ago, and we have been married for 11 years.  He was diagnosed 2 years after we were married.  The doctors said that he had hiv for over 4-5 years ago.  I was blessed because I diagnosed as negative.

 

 

                One of the problems that we have is our sex part of our marriage.  My husband feels really bad about what has happened to him and our marriage, then on top of all of this he was  diagnosed with being a diabetic about 3 years ago,  which  now he has problems with his impotence.  This is and has caused even more problems in our marriage to be frustrated and he feels less than a man, because of this.  I stay frustrated because I am able to have sex .  I love my husband what would you do?  He really is a good husband.   

Honey, if you have a good husband stick by him.  He needs you now more than ever.  Being a diabetic alone is enough, besides being positive.  You just be sure you are tested often also.

Can they not give him something for his impotence?  Bless your heart.  I know it must be fustrating for you and for him to.  I will pray for the two of you and let me hear from you again.

Talk to the doctor.  It just may be they can give him something that can help.  Good luck
 
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iwonttell
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October 30, 2006, 9:05 am PST

Nervous

Hi i am a married female and just recently the HIV issuse has come up.  Me and my husband have just be tested about three weeks ago and the results were negative.  The concern that I have is that I just recently cheated on my husband about two months ago.  I used protection both times when I did.  I am afraid because this is out of my character and I cant believe I did this.  Do I have much to worry about.  Should I go ballistic although Ive been tested negatrive?
 
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marsandvenus
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November 6, 2006, 10:39 am PST

Out of character

Quote From: iwonttell

Hi i am a married female and just recently the HIV issuse has come up.  Me and my husband have just be tested about three weeks ago and the results were negative.  The concern that I have is that I just recently cheated on my husband about two months ago.  I used protection both times when I did.  I am afraid because this is out of my character and I cant believe I did this.  Do I have much to worry about.  Should I go ballistic although Ive been tested negatrive?
My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!here I am having a situation with my husband who has HIV/Aids and you and your husband has been tested and you cheated on him!?  Ask yourself why would you do something like this?  You can believe you did this, because this affair was not I dont believe was a forced affair.  You did this because this is what you allowed to happen.  Now ask yourself  was it worth what you are feeling now?  No dont go ballistic, go to God and ask for his forgiveness, and dont ever do this demonic fornication act ever again.  In my case, my husband was unknown positive before we got married.  It is not because he cheated on me.  You and your husband may need to seek professional  help.  There is a lot missing from your marriage.  Happy married people dont cheat!
 
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loulou_22
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November 25, 2006, 10:48 am PST

I have a friend

Hi, I have a friend who is H. I. V positive but in remission, so shesays and she has 2 beatiful boys who are tested every so often, they are very young, any way she recently slept with one of my friends who dosent know I know, She says they used protection and Iam just scared for them both I have never been close to any one who has this and Idont believe in treating her any diffrent than any of my other friends, But I give her a hug alot, and she gets real close to my face, Do I have any thing to worry about? I really dont think i do but i still want to ask andalso what does remminssion mean any way does that mean she will beat it or its just under control temporary? Any one have any info on this please.........
 
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loulou_22
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November 25, 2006, 10:59 am PST

its up to you

Quote From: marsandvenus

 

 

  Hell-o out there,

 

               This is my first time on the discussion board, matter of fact I just found this today after watching Dr.Phil.  My husband has been diagnosed with hiv about 9 years ago, and we have been married for 11 years.  He was diagnosed 2 years after we were married.  The doctors said that he had hiv for over 4-5 years ago.  I was blessed because I diagnosed as negative.

 

 

                One of the problems that we have is our sex part of our marriage.  My husband feels really bad about what has happened to him and our marriage, then on top of all of this he was  diagnosed with being a diabetic about 3 years ago,  which  now he has problems with his impotence.  This is and has caused even more problems in our marriage to be frustrated and he feels less than a man, because of this.  I stay frustrated because I am able to have sex .  I love my husband what would you do?  He really is a good husband.   

hi, i think if hes really a good husband and you love him , and are willing to go without the sex you should stay with him, wetake an oath when we m arry, in sickness and health, till death do us part. To me those words mean no matter what, we love, cherrish and stay, long as the marraige is healthy other than the sex any way.Sex isnt every thing, my husband is quite older than i and has some problems having sex and I didnt leave him instead i found some toys to bring into the bedroom and we now share quite a loving time together even though theis no autaul intercorse so good luck because in the end only you can decide.
 
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iwonttell
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December 1, 2006, 12:15 pm PST

really was out of my character

Quote From: marsandvenus

My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!here I am having a situation with my husband who has HIV/Aids and you and your husband has been tested and you cheated on him!?  Ask yourself why would you do something like this?  You can believe you did this, because this affair was not I dont believe was a forced affair.  You did this because this is what you allowed to happen.  Now ask yourself  was it worth what you are feeling now?  No dont go ballistic, go to God and ask for his forgiveness, and dont ever do this demonic fornication act ever again.  In my case, my husband was unknown positive before we got married.  It is not because he cheated on me.  You and your husband may need to seek professional  help.  There is a lot missing from your marriage.  Happy married people dont cheat!
Me and my husband have been married for 4 years and this is the 1st time i have ever cheated on him ( and last)!  I guess I was hurt by finding out that he cheated on me shortly after being married and a year and a half before my cheating situation.  He kept throwing it in my face and i was fed up with it.  Not wanting to leave i did what i did and i regret it.  I thought it would make me feel better but only made me feel worst.  We have been tested again and it was negative.  I dont beleive he has cheated again and i know i am definately not.  I do ask the lord for his forgiveness every day and every night.  I thank you for responding to my message and i will bless you and your husband in my prayers!
 
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pozitivegramma
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March 31, 2007, 7:27 am PDT

A message from an HIV + Grandmother

Hello. I am a Grandmother who has AIDS  as a result of a rape on me in 1990.
My health has fluctuated: I have good days and  I have "necessary" days - those days  when I am not doing so well. I refer to them as such because they are necessary so that I can  remember how good I feel when I am having good days.
Anyone who has not yet been tested SHOULD do yourself a favour and get tested. Trust me! The NOT KNOWING is worse than knowing is.
You owe it to yourself and any sexual partners you may have to know if you are infected with HIV.
It terrifies me to hear how so many people are of the false assumption that there are so many drugs available now that  it doesnt really matter if one becomes infected or not.
I just attended the funeral of a young woman  last week. She and her eldest and youngest child all tested positive - her middle child tested negative. She was too young to die and her children were too young to be left without their mother.
My suggestion is not to go for test results alone. Bring a friend with you. And just because one might test negative, does not  necessarily mean they do not have HIV. It could be that the test was taken too soon after infection and it hasn't yet shown up on blood work . 
It amazes me how many people think if they test negative once they will always test negative regardless of risks taken.
I am open to questions if anyone has any.
Take care and play safe!
 
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