Topic : General Advice

My daughter is 5 years old and she doesnt like discipline at all. When she is told she can't do something or told she has to do something she doesnt want to do she gets out of control. She gets madd starts crying and screaming at me. When I go to discipline her she starts fighting with me. I have tried the time out thing I have tried spanking I have tried taking away privelages and nothing is working. I think she is acting this way because my moms neighbor has a daughter that acts the same way when she doesnt get her way only they have diagnosed her with BiPolar. Recently when my daughter gets mad at me for making her do something or telling her she cant do something she tries to hurt her baby brother that is only 8 months old. Example....When we were shopping yesterday I made her sit down in the cart and she got mad started screaming at me and when her brother reached to the back of the cart to grab something she grabbed his arm as tight as she could and pushed it back to the front of the cart. I dont know if she is just acting out because she sees this older girl do it or if there is something wrong with her. Should I take her to the doctor to get the situation looked at or is it just a phase? Help Please!!!!

What child does like discipline (or any adult for that matter)? discipline is a part of life and so what if she gets mad and cries and throws a fit, ignore the tantrums and stick to your guns and be consistent. It sounds like she is being a normal five year old who gets upset when she doesn't get her way, Unless there is more to the story, I don't see it as a problem to take her to the doctor and even children with a disorder needs to be disciplined and shouldn't get away with misbehavior. it is just an excuse for the parent not to be consistent and to allow the child to get away with the inappropiate behavior and the child learns the attitude as well and will start using the disorder as an excuse. When my children throw a tantrum, I leave the room til they stop then we talk about it and then they get their time out/privelge taken awy and too bad, the fits and crying can go on as long as they like, for I am not giving in. And with the incident of her hurting her little brother, I would have taken her out of the cart and had a little chat and if the tantrum or the misbehavoir continued, we would have been out of that store in a heart beat, yep, leave the cart behind, and yes, I have done this, only once because when they started bickering and fighting over the stuff in the cart,I told them once to settle down but they continued and that was the end of that, we left the cart, and we headed towards home and I had two screaming girls in the car, I didn't say a word, got home and they went to bed. We discusssed the incident and that was that, has never happened again. Now, my two year old doesn't understand everything but right along with her older sister, she is learning what is accepted and not accepted in our home. yes, on accasions, we have issues but I am the parent and I have no problem taking care of it. communication and consistency in discipline is the key and in my opinion, no excuse is a good excuse when we allow the child to continue the inappropiate misbehavior.

I would suggest you do look into it. She may be suffering from sibling jealousy. 

They have great therapists that can work through this. My daughter is bipolar and does the same things you describe. 

Do you have any mental illness history in your backgrounds? Suicide? alcoholism? depression? these are things they look for when diagnosing. 

  

If not then I would say she is probably learning some of the behaviors from the older girl. And also may have some anger about the new baby. You need to protect both children. 

If you do look into find a psychologist who specializes in childhood mental illness. 

  

A great website to ask questions if you think your child has bipolar is  

  

www.bpkids.org 

  

If you have any questions and would like to talk to me my name is Tammy 

  

email is mommaoof2@yahoo.com 

General Advice - You need to beat your kids ass!  Not all the time.  Just when they do something bad or disrespect you.

My children are 19, 15 and 12, and they have never been "beat" or spanked...nor are they disrespectful, or in trouble. Not every child needs to be spanked...there are other, more respectful, less physical, less punitive, less damaging ways to discipline or teach a child the right way.

For some people that would be everyday, 20 times a day.  That kid would be black and blue from beating him.  How would that possibly work???? Not sure if you are aware if you beat your kids the system will take you away from them and put the parent in jail.  I don't believe beating thier ass will work. 

 I had to stay away from this board for the weekend just to cool down after reading your advice.  How can you even give that advice.  Incase you hadn't noticed this board is full of supportive parents trying to do what is right for their children.  I'm not saying it never gets heated around here because I have been in the middle of a few debates.  But I learned and grew from them.  How can I do that with your advice.  Are you trying just to get people mad.  What a waist of energy. 
How does beating them help.  You need to talk to them and help them to understand what they are doing is wrong and find a positive solution to their problem so they can grow and be an active member of society.  Spanking is another matter and that is a personal choice but beating come on!!  I feel sorry for your children if this is your outlook.  What a shame!

If you click on that person's name and then click on read other posts by him, he can see his other posts.  I think he is just someone who wants to start something, I reported him to the Dr P staff.  He did a bunch of thoughtless posts, and he probably won't be back.  He probably just thought it would be funny.  Now he can sit back and laugh at us, because he has made us all so angry.   

  

I don't know about you but I have better things to do!  LOL   

  

Have a good one! :-) 

 Good for him if he's laughing but I cannot hold my thoughts back.  I did read his posts and to me it seemed like someone who was crying out for help.  Why should this person's thoughtlessness go un noticed and maybe he will learn something along the way.  If he's sitting back and laughing then there really is a self-esteem problem going on.  I do have better things to do and they concern our children.  Commenting on a negative parenting style may sound funny to him but maybe it will help a new parent just starting out who is wondering what type of parenting style to try out.  Our comments may prove helpful.  You never know.  So I say thanks to him for giving us the opportunity to comment on this type of discipline.

Hi, 

I'm new to this board.  I'm married and have a 10 yr old son.  Both my son and husband are overweight.  I'm not attempting to ask my husband to lose weight...he will when he's ready, I hope.  I am very concerned about my son who weighs 109#(97 percentile on the weight charts at the doctor's office), and he is very self-concious about his weight.  My son seems to follow in his dad's footsteps when it comes to food.  They both sneak junk when I'm not around.  I don't keep junk in the house.  I constantly read food labels.  I make healthy meals.  Do we have pizza occasionally, sure we do.  I'm not a fanatic. 

  

My son is probably the most active kid on the block.  He's usually outside playing, even in the winter (we live in MN).  I've pretty much banned TV, movies, and computer games.   

  

We don't have weight discussions unless my son initiates them.  I focus on making healthy lifestyle choices, whether it be food, exercise, drugs, etc...so as not to make him feel any worse about his appearance than he already does.  Kids tease him sometimes. 

  

Unfortunately, my husband isn't on board with the "healthy" lifestyle and promoting/enforcing it with my son.  In fact, he often sabatoges any healthy habits that I've instilled (like sneaking out for ice cream before bed or eating when we aren't hungry).  Then, that only puts extra pressure on me to think of another way to help our son lose weight. 

  

I need HELP...does anyone have any advice??? 

  

gardenbug2