Topic : General Advice

I am so stuck right now. My neices aren't listening like bad not listening. 

History of the problem: my sister missy had twins at the age of 20 she got married then divorced b/c the dad was a jerk now the twins are 5 and just acting terrible. It is effecting me b/c my neices are like my own kidsi helped raise them almost like a second mom and for a while i watched them more then there real now. And now my sister has a new job and is working all these hours and gives then no one on one time and it's turning bad. The twins live with us and have been ruining my home and i don't know what to do. 

What there doing: they have put baby pwoder all over there already messy room so everything has powder it is still taking forever to get the smell out then they took crayons and drew on the wals also drew on the kitchen walls, one of the twins plays with her poo, they both play in the sink with soap and waste it.  

What we have done: we have given then time outs, made them clean up there own mess, sent them to there fathers for a night, explained to them why they did that is wrong. My dad(there grandpa) has tried to get them to stop becuase they used to listen to him but not anymore. 

Me: Usually when there dad or mom can't give them attention i do and they never misbehaved with me b/c i was there favor. now it's gotten worse they tak back and do the same distructive things and i am stuck and my sister is too stressed & unhappy to do thing about it  

I am so stuck Help!!!! 

Thx, Beth 

You have some time to transition, so use it.  Let your husband do all the parenting on the weekends and support him by helping out with housework and cooking.  Talk over his choices every evening and try and share your parenting strategies with him. Then let go-it is hard but he will be a better father for having this experience.  Girls gain something different from their fathers that is important. 

I'll tell you about my first baby.  I was a middle child in a big family. My youngest brother was born when I was in my teens so I knew all I needed about baby care. My husband was the youngest in his family and had never even changed a diaper before.  When we had our daughter, I was nursing her and I was the bossy "expert" parent.  My husband and I both took time off for her but I didn't let him do much. 

Then I got really sick and I was in the hospital for almost three months. He was alone with a new born.  When I finally got home, they were this tight little team. I didn't even know how to feed her.  I had to elbow my way back in from the outside.  My husband has been a better, more confident father ever since and I have learned to include him more graciously :) 

Smile-well there are signs that you are mature.  Do you budget, follow your financial plans and save money? Do you finish what you start? Do you consider the consequences of your actions? Can you listen to an old person ramble on about something you aren't interested in and make them feel like you are? (that was a trick question - you are doing it now grin). 

I really don't know how you will know and I don't think there is a magic age. Having kids isn't easy.  If you know the downside and still want kids, you might be ready.  I have a sister who had both of her kids before she was 20 and she was a wonderful mother. She had to make choices that were hard because they weren't financially ready for their family, but they made a life and their kids are great. 

My husband and I had a much easier time financially as parents, but then my health has been crappy and we are getting older.  And, just imagine -we will be retiring while we put our kids through school. 

Smile-well there are signs that you are mature.  Do you budget, follow your financial plans and save money? Do you finish what you start? Do you consider the consequences of your actions? Can you listen to an old person ramble on about something you aren't interested in and make them feel like you are? (that was a trick question - you are doing it now grin). 

I really don't know how you will know and I don't think there is a magic age. Having kids isn't easy.  If you know the downside and still want kids, you might be ready.  I have a sister who had both of her kids before she was 20 and she was a wonderful mother. She had to make choices that were hard because they weren't financially ready for their family, but they made a life and their kids are great. 

My husband and I had a much easier time financially as parents, but then my health has been crappy and we are getting older.  And, just imagine -we will be retiring while we put our kids through school. 

I have a 9 year old that isn't able to always write down his homework or forgets a book or worksheet. I'm running out of ideas to try and help him remember his homework. Last year it was so bad that I would go to school before he was let out and made sure he had all of his homework written down and all the material he needed. I've tried the follow: 

Notepads in his folder 

3x5 card on his backpack 

Taken video game time away 

Not allowed him to go to his karate classes 

Grounded from playing outside 

We have spoken to him about the importance of taking responsibility for his homework. We've explained to him that remembering his homework is part of him learning to become a responsible adult and this is a life skill he needs to improve on.  

We've ran out of ideas and any help it greatly appreciated. 

Thanks