Topic : Interracial Relationships

This post is for a young user named "para2007" whom I had previously posted an answer to... It would appear that our entire conversation has been removed so I can only hope that you saw what I said to you.  I was under the impression that this was a place for controversial topics and open conversations but I suppose I was misinformed.  I wish for you only the best in your most trying time and may you find peace within yourself for that is truly what matters in a happy life.  I will never forget you in my own quest. 

I am a 25 year old white woman that is engaged to a 24 year old black man.  For the last five years of my life I have mostly dated black men, but until I started dating my fiance I never brought any of the black men I dated home.  I knew my mom was extremely against me dating anyone that is black and I didn't want to cause any turmoil in the family.  My father and two younger sisters are indifferent to the situation and don't care as long as I'm happy.  For years it felt like I was leading a double life because I could never tell my mom about who I was dating.  I even lived with a black guy for almost two years and was never able to introduce him to my mom or let her know we lived together.  If I knew she was coming over I would hide all of his stuff and make him leave and eventually this put too much strain on our relationship and we broke up.  It was not fair for him to have to leave his own home because my family was coming over and he decided he could no longer put up with it.  Now looking back I see how terrible he must have felt.  When I finally met my fiance I decided I was no longer going to live like that and I was going to confront these issues with not only my mom, but my whole family.  My fiance and I moved in together about three months after we met and that is when I decided to break the news to my family.  It was one of the most nerve racking times of my life.  He has met pretty much everyone in my family except for my mother and father.  My mom is still completely against it, even though her own mother (my grandma) and the rest of our family is accepting of our relationship.  My mom will have nothing to do with me and I haven't talked to her for about 6 months.  She has always tried to control every aspect of my life and I have always let her before, but I swore that I would not let her win this battle.  I love my mom very much and up until now we were always very close, so not talking to her is killing me, but I have to stand up for what I believe in.  I love this man with all my heart and he makes me happy so I really feel that she should be happy for me as well.  My dad still talks to me if I call or if I stop by, but he will not meet my fiance because he knows it will upset my mother and he has to live with her so basically he doesn't want to rock the boat.  The rest of my family (my sisters, grandma, aunts and uncles) all tell me that with time she will get over it, but it has been six months already with no word from her except that she doesn't want anything to do with me.  I didn't think it would upset me so much because I was so mad at first, but now I've realized how much I miss having my mom in my life and I feel as if I have a huge void.  I've tried contacting her many times... called, sent  e-mails, ect. and received nothing in return.  My fiances family is wonderful and so very accepting and they made me feel like I'm part of the family immediately.  I'm not expecting my mom to treat my fiance like family...hell I don't even expect her to meet him if she doesn't want to because I realize everyone has a right to their own opinion, but she doesn't have to cut me out of her life because she doesn't agree with my choices.  Mothers are suppose to love their children unconditionally... why is mine not?

Why are white women constantly going after black men?  I'm going to give you a straight up answer from a white girl that mostly dates black men.  Almost all of my friends date black men and my niece and nephews are all interracial (black and white).  Although I don't really consider myself to be constantly going after black men... more like I find myself more attracted to black men.  It's not like I "only" date black men, because I have dated white men and hispanic men as well.  I don't find my reasons for dating black men probably any different than your reasons for dating black.  I don't date black men for sexual reasons... it's an attraction thing.  Black men seem to be more confident with themselves and I find this very sexy.  I am also a curvy white girl who isn't a stick figure so I find that black men are usually the ones hitting on me.  Black men seem to appreciate my body and that makes me feel good.  I have been with my fiance for about 8 months now and our relationship is wonderful... he is the love of my life.  I constantly feel like our relationship is tested and questioned by black women and I don't understand it.  I don't care who black women date... whether it be black men, hispanic men, or even white men... any man for that matter.  Why does this matter... if someone makes you happy and treats you good who cares.  My boyfriends mother and sister are wonderful women who I truly respect and care for and I receive the same respect in return.  I have never once felt out of place around any of his family and honestly I am closer to them then my own family.  Not once has his mother, sister, or aunts ever questioned why he dates a white woman... all they care about is that he is happy. 

 

I don't think you are wrong for asking this question, nor do I think nyou are a racist... I believe you are curious.  I just think it is strange that you say "I have never lost a black man to a white woman, nor have any of my black friends (that I know of)..."  This statement does make me curious as to how you view interracial relationships between black men and white women...

I am also in a very loving interracial relationship.  My husband and I also manage to cope with different religious backgrounds.  He is Jewish and I am Christian.  I am from the Bahamas and also have to deal with African Americans saying that I am "acting white".  I have never had any idea what that was supposed to mean.  I was raised to speak a certain way (the queens English) and to comport myself in a certain way.  I had no idea that correct speech had an ethnicity!  I had heard that Canadians do not refer to themselves as African Canadians or Italian Canadians.  I agree that Americans should try doing that and see if there is more harmony among the many people of different races, religions and creeds that make up this country.

 

 

  I would like to say that I agree with interracial dating.  To me it is even crazy that we are classified as races and not just fellow americans but that is how society is.  That's where the statistics come in.  I am bi-racial and let me tell you, when I started school in the early 90's born 1984, Myself anf my sister were the only bi-racial kidsin the school as well as maybe a handfgul of african american children.  it was hard for us to identify with any race, blavk or hite because the issue with the prejudism of black and white was still going on.  So when bi-ravial children soared to overwhelming numbers people were not redy for another race to emerge. we had white and black kids picking on us.  still today being of mixed race I'm still classified as black.  What we fellow Americans don't realize is this was indian country we all migrated from other places such as ireland, england china, germany poland.  We are the melting pot cause we are not nativw to this land but immigrants who adapted we all came from different parts of the oceans.  Look how people of a civilization we have become.  We will rule our own destiny when our humanity surpasses our technology, Just ponder on that peace!!!!

   I have had interracial relationships. My children have also. i don't care if the other person is purple as long as they have good moral values and treats my family and others with respect and kindness. We all look the same with our skin pulled back or the most part. We shouldnt choose to associate or not associate with anyone because of what we look like on the outside.

We miss out on a lot of blessings when we do. Life is a journey, and we share the same roads, so look into others eyes, and see their soul, not the color of the skin. There are plenty of folks out there with the same racial background as I have, that I would not associate with because of who they are on the inside, skin color does not define who a person is. Character defines that!

i'm a white girl who has dated african-american men since high school and loves every minute of it! i have never been attracted to whites and i think most white men are inherently racist and feel inferior about african-american men's superiority. african-american men are stronger, better looking, better in the sack :), more intelligent, more confident and in general just better people. luckily attitudes are changing and white men are learning that there place is not to dominate and lessen people or make racist laws restricting african-american men from having white women. today women, especially white women, are more liberated- free from the slavery of house rearing and cooking (lol) and making familys in the old 'traditional' way. white men (or white people in general) owe allot to people of other races, especially africans; the africans built civilization and taught europeans how to read, write and philosophize they taught europeans everything about school, family and religion so it is only right for us to pay them back and abolish all racist laws still keeping african people down, like marrying and having families with who they damn well please!!! the only way to ensure that racism stops is to let african men intermarry with white women and help to make beautiful biracial children to flourish over the whole world. i am not joking, even michael moore thinks so (as funny as a guy he is, he's serious! read his book "Stupid White Men").

 

i don't think all white men are bad, please don't misunderstand me, because there are many that now understand what their role is in society and many have come to understand their racist ways of the past. they know that feminism is not evil, they know that gays and lesbians are human beings like they are and they know biracial relationships are necessary for all the people in the world.

 

shoney (my current husband) and i have 7 beautiful  biracial children (we kept busy!!! heh :) now and my family loves our relationship and adores all of our kids. i would never in a million years change it for anything else in the world!!

Hi,

I have just read your message,and I would advice you to be very careful about your daughter's boyfriend.Unfortunately I am talking from personal experience,my ex husband had the same behavior and his violence escalated so much that when I was pregnant he was kicking me in my stomach.

I decided to leave him ,my son is now 10 yrs old,he is a very nice,well behaved,bright young boy,he does well in school and I am glad I have not let his violent father in his life,because I know for sure he would have ruined my son emotionally and physically.

I was finally granted divorce and fully custody of my son from the court.

If a man is nasty and violent towards the mother of his child and he doesn't have any respect for her,how can you honestly say that he is a good father?

His child will start to grow and soon or later witness his bad behavior towards his/her mum...how do you think the child will feel?

This boyfriend is not good enough,how can he keep a baby out at night until 1.00 am.What sort of dad is that?

Get him out of your daughter's life as soon as you can........before it's too late.I moved country in order for my son not to being in contact with his "sperm donor".that's how I refer to him.He is not good enough to be called "dad".

Good luck to your daughter and her baby.

I am perplexed by your question.I am white,my husband is black and we have 2 beautiful children.But for the love of me I don't understand,why you even care about white women choice of men......so what if some white women are in love with black men,the world is a mixing pot.

Anyone can fall in love with whoever they choose.......and yes you were wrong to use the term "our " men,because no one owns anyone,we are all free human beings.

I can honestly say that I don't have time to look at who black women choose to date,neither I have time to check on white women/Spanish women /Chinese women.......and so on......I am too busy with my work,kids,home,friends......that to look at who is dating who?

 

 

 

I could use some advise here.  I am 36 years old, and I have met a WONDERFUL man, but he is only 24.  Do any of you think this is a relationship that is doomed from the beginning?  He is

Honduran and I am white.  That so far has not been an issue, i mean NOTHING has been and issue, it has been going GREAT; but am i headed for trouble here? 

Thanks in advance for all you comments.

 

THank you.