Topic : Interracial Relationships

I realize this is an old message but I feel compelled to respond.  How is it that in 2008 you remain totally ignorant?  I don't know who came up with the idea that people that are different colors are different races.  There is only one race, and that is the HUMAN race.  All people are part of the HUMAN race. Color has no effect on the characteristics of the HUMAN race.  We do, however, have the ability to use our brains to make educated and informed decisions rather than allow social histories from hundreds of years ago determine our thought processes.  And by the way, vanilla and chocolate mix very deliciously!!! If you don't believe me, just buy yourself some vanilla and chocolate ice cream, mix them up, and ENJOY! 

hello to all who have read the one from truth4u, its funny how people will say things just to get a rise outta other people and I really believe thats exactly what this person has done, we have so many people in this world today there is just no room for this kind of thinking, there is nothing and I repeat nothing wrong with black & white mixing, & yes I am in a mixed relationship and yeah I have to agree vanilla & chocolate do go good together it makes for a nice cool snack anytime lol but as the old saying goes and I quote " Com'on People, Can't We All Just Get Along" Have A Wounderful Day!

P.S. Dr.Phil, Love your show! Your doin an awesome job!

I'm a fan 4-life!

Hi my name is April,

 

I am a 25 year old white mother with a 2 year old child and i have been with this guy who is black and we both love each other and we plan to get married

 

But the there is a catch to this..I didnt know this until that that he has kept this from me for a while,we have been together for 7 months and we are sooooooooooooo happy,see my mother is married to a blk man

 

so here's the thing,my boyfriends mother doesnt like or want him to go out with a white woman who has a child and he knew for about 4 months and he is just telling me this now..My son calls him daddy and is attached to him

 

I would like some information or some tips on how should i talk to her or how he should talk to his own mother,he is 36 years old and still listens to his "mommy"..

 

Please help me and give me some tips or information on what i should do

 

april

He knows that I am very stressed at the moment so I innocently suggested that perhaps it would be nice for us to go on a romantic break. It would only last 2 days so it would not impinge on his time. I looked on google for charmingn getaways, typing destinations such as 'a lovely getaway for two university lovers' and i foudn some really good places. but still, he refused.

 

Furthermore, i was just about to eand this message but i just saw him searching on google for 'recently released songs' AFTER CLAIMING THAT HE DID NOT HAVE TIME TO SEARCH FOR HOLIDAY.S

 

furthrmore  he just said he woudl like SEXY TIME. well, he never says he wants LOVING time or anything nice. just sexy time.

 

 

girls, i know you will support me here. this is not right

 ok, so im 20 years old..about to be 21 in june....ive been seeing this guy for a about a year. his name is osvaldo-ozzie for short....hes 25....he works, has his own place, when he was a kid though..he was bad, he has a little bit of a record, nothing CRIMINAL. but stupid things kids get themselves into.....but now hes good..he stopped all that when he was like 18...anywhooo...i really love him. He is puerto-rican and i am white. now my family are not rascists but when it comes to me dating someone out of my own race...they're the WORST. well when i started seeing him, my family didnt really know much. i kinda kept everything a big secret.....i told themm i met a guy half white/ half spanish (hes not half white but i said that to make it sound a little better)....ii described him...bla bla bla...so a month or so after, i allowed him to meet my parents...they were all for it, but as soon as they seen him, they completely changed their mind. they greeted him and when he left all they did was talk sh-t. he looks soo puerto rican..how could u date this type of guy? he'll never be accepted in our family...your an embarrassment..bla bla bla. that really made me feel horrible....so they told me i wasnt allowed to see him. (remind u i was like 19-turning 20 at the time...pretty much an adult!) so i agreed...but kept seeing him in the hUsH hUsh!!!...they found out. and it was like months of non-stop fighting back and forth...me lying about where i was going, where i was sleeping, who i was with.....just so they wouldnt fight with me about seeing this guy. finally about 7 months down the line...i gave up, i finally moved out and moved into his apartment with him. my parents didnt talk to me for a week...and then they wanted me to move back home. i didn't...i stayed there, and im still there. They finally accepted that i was with this person.......they stopped the bickering, but they will not allow him in their house...or anywhere near. they lie to all my family members (aunts,uncles,grandparents) that i dont have a boyfriend...all the holidays i have to go spend with my  family and he stays home by himself (his mom and dad passed away) ....... i have to lie to my family that i am single and bla bla bla because my parents are too embarrassed. its been like 2-3 months since ive been living there....i kinda have a good relationship with my parents because there is not as much fighting, and im not living in their house so they really cant say anything....but it just hurts because i want them to accept him and see him for who he really is. he has such a good heart. and my parents wont even give him 1 minute out of their time. i feel like our relationship cant really progress if he is not involved with my family. he even mentioned it to me how much it hurts him that they judge him when they dont even know him...he wants to have a relationship with my parents....as much as i talk to them and try to make them realize that he is a good person and just give him a chance....all they think is that he is some kind of scumbag that will never be able to take care of me. i dont know what to say or do anymore.
 any advice?

I don’t understand why you say that your family is not racist, but they won’t even give your boyfriend one minute of their time? Their actions are racist.
It is wonderful that you are with a person who makes you happy, who is good to you, and with whom you share a mutual love and respect. Your family is ignorant to not see those positive things and only see the color of his skin as ‘bad.’ My advice to you is to stay home with your boyfriend for at least one or two holidays- show your family that you are going to take a stand; then see what their reaction is. Because if you continue going about things the way that you are, why would they change? They have no incentive to change; you are simply accepting their point of view, you are being their puppet- pretending the way that they want you to pretend. You are a grown adult, you don’t have to pretend that their racism doesn’t exist! I wish you the best- stand up for yourself and for the one that you believe in. How do you think it would feel if your boyfriend allowed his family to treat you this way?