Topic : Adult Children Living at Home

My sister, her husband, and their three kids have been mooching off my parents since before they were married eight years ago. Except, of course for the few months here and there when they have mooched of his mother and the State of Arizona. My mom has had severe health problems in the last 2 years, and my dad was recently layed off. They are finally ready to put their foot down and kick my sister out. They have completely ruined their house, don't pay a penny in rent, and recently spent a good chunck of their tax refund on a flat screen tv. No one at the house answers the phone anymore because of the bill collectors that continue to call my sister, who is not paying anything she owes and will soon see her vehicle repossessed (which is a good thing, since there is no insurance or current registration on it).

My question is: Has anyone successfully removed adult children from their home and how did you go about it? The last time my sister moved back in, there was no real agreement on rent or length of stay; my sister just promised it wouldn't be too long. 2 years later, can my parents legally tell them to pay rent or get out? It is their house, and I don't see why not, but I also don't see my sister and her lazy husband getting off the couch and getting a steady to job to pay anything. So, when they don't pay, then what? Do my parents take them to court? My mom is sick of it, and her health can no longer take them living there. She has asked me for help in dealing with my sister and I don't know where to begin--I don't think she really does either. Thanks for any help!

i need my sister out of my house

shes an alcoholic and drug addict and is taking my mom

for granted. with two young children in the house. My mom doesnt

allow drinking but ohhhh no. she doesnt listen she does anything she wants .. cuz kaitlin never lies and kaitlin never does anything wrong. its pathedic. shes a lesbian.. she never listens she deserves to be in a pysc.. ward for all i care. all she does is bring problems.  OUT NOW ?

We have a wonderful 24 year old daughter who has graduated college, ended a 7 year relationship, and has moved back home.  Although we all have been very close in the past, we have noticed changes in her. She admits to being depressed but refuses professional help.  Her weight fluctuates greatly. She goes out at night with friends to bars, comes home very late and has not sent out one resume or looked for work since she graduated almost a year ago.  She spends most of her time at home on the computer as a social outlet.  She takes care of her car payment and insurance as well as cell phone expenses.  We have introduced her to job opportunities and paid for a trip to NY to meet contacts.  She did beautifully meeting and speaking with these folks but nothing was followed up.  A time has been set for her to start paying rent and she has expressed her desire to move out but seems very nervous about being responsible for herself.  Are we missing signals or being too pushy?  Are we rewarding bad behavior?  Not sure now to deal with this and very stressed and tired.  She feels guilty and bad about herself and imagines the worst in every situation. 

hi my name is mary i live in my older brother's 2 story guest cabanna since my dad and mom fight constantly like that every day my dad doesn't realize he has a serrious attitude problem here and i noticed this same attitude in nephew billy who is 5 yrs old so i nipped my nephew billy's bad behavior right away in the butt today i said if you ever want to see your grandpa ever again i do not want you repeating his language you here from him in our house ever again or you'll never see your grandpa ever again since that is potty mouth language around here.! eventhough i am his auntie i nip this type of behavior right in the butt since this behavior can lead to gangs, drugs and etc i don't want him to end up in jail for his attitude problem he said his grandpa gets away with it i told him his grandpa was raised from an abusive biological father back in savanna il that had a drinking problem where he would get himself drunk and beat your grandpa up everynight he came home from being intoxicated.

my dad doesn't talk to me anymore ever since i told him he needs help for his gambling and attitude problem here that is breaking up our whole family in naples fl i have withdrawn myself from doing thiings wth my father for good since he is beyond help here so whenever they go out to dinner i just say no thank you since its embarrassing for me to be seen in public with my dad here.

I have 2 problems.  I know that I have created both of them but I ask myself...how young is too young?  I have a 19 year old son and his girlfriend (same age) living with me.  The girlfriend is really like my own.  Her parents do not speak alot of English and appear to be good people but they did not assist the girl hardly at all when it came to get her off to college last fall.  I took her to orientation, registration, bought her food, paid to repair her car one, and bought stuff like rugs, plates, etc for her dorm.  My son went off to college (UGA) at the other end of the state which I thought would do them some good since they have been dating since the 9th grade.  Needless to say I filled out applications, loans, scholarships and the whole nine yards and had them squared away to live away from home. 

Well, my son was steadily screwing up.  He got a DUI in his roommates car because I did not let him take his.  I had to sell his truck to pay for the lawyer plus add another $1000.  We are only in the 1st semester of college for about 3 or 4 weeks.    After Christmas break, my son got caught with marijuana in his dorm room.  He was suspended from college and had to come home. 

Well, since my son was home, the girlfriend wore the tires off her car to come home every weekend to see him (it was a 2 1/2 hour drive).  When her car didn't work anymore, she would hitch rides with someone else from school but would not make it back to school on time.  She missed classes and I think ended up failing one or two (don't know for sure because no one will tell me).  Now she is home for the summer but cannot go back to the original college because she had different scholarships and programs.  They won't cover her now.  She has decided to go to a local university.

The deal with my son was that he would work full time and pay me $50 a week rent.  That would include his food and everything.  Well, that has happened (the $50) about 6 times since he came home in mid January.  The girlfriend watches her sister's kids - she has been home since maybe April, oh, and every weekend from Thursday night to Tuesday morning while she was in school.  She does not contribute anything, I mean she does not wash a dish or nothing.  When I gripe about it, I am being mean and I don't love her anymore since my boyfriend doesn't like her.  In all honesty, he doesn't I dont guess...mainly because she is a little snobby and she she definitely is lazy. 

Sometimes when I am out of town or whatever, I have come home to the following:

** the house looking like a wreck

** KY jelly on my nightstand

**my bathroom garbage can on the side of my bed for the purpose of a "just in case I puke" pail

**my son's girlfriend's panties MY shower

**puke on my shower scrunchy

Out of all of that which has been the past 3 or 4 months, I have never received a sorry or nothing.  They do not even attempt to clean up the evidence.  It is awful.  I find that I am starting to feel resentment to my son and his girlfriend.

Finally, I have had it.  I told both of them that they have until August 1st.  The girlfriend's brother has decided to take my job of enabling them and letting them rent a house that he owns for dirt cheap supposively by July 1st - wow, even sooner.  Don't get me wrong, I am glad they have a nice place to stay, I am glad they are getting out of my hair, but I just hope they learn something because I feel like everybody else, I do not want them to come back.

However, I have been reading some of the blogs, and I see that some people have older kids than 19 years old driving them crazy.  I just want to do the right thing...plus, I wanted to vent!