I am indeed a black sheep of my family. I'm 20 years old, and I've been married for about a year and a half.
I got along fine with my parents. I was a good kid. I didn't drink, do drugs, have sex... I got good grades, I was in the top 50 of my class of 250. My parents expected me to want to go to college and get a great high powered job where I'd make lots of money. And then marry a guy who also had a high powered job and also made lots of money. Well, he should love me as well, but that wasn't quite as important. I mean, they didn't want me to be with someone who beat me, but the emphasis was definatly on being financially secure. So, I would nod and agree that indeed, I did want all those things, when I really didn't. I believe in love above all things, and my mom in particular didn't seem to think love between a man and a woman was anything that deep or lasting. Not that I blame her, since my biological dad took off when she was pregnant, and didn't do more than pay child support and visit me once a year til I was 13. It never bothered me, but she was always very bitter about it.
What I've really always wanted is to be a stay at home mom with some kids and a husband who loves me. Money would be nice, but I could get along with not very much if there's a lot of love. When I'd show little bits of my real self and my opinions and thoughts, I'd get shot down, being told "Jeni, you aren't being yourself right now, I don't like what you are doing. Be yourself again." Meaning the perfect porcelaine doll they always wanted.
Well, my boyfriend (at the time) and I had gone beyond kissing, which I'd never told my parents. I flat out lied, but always wanted to tell them. Well, one day my mom and Aunt were fighting, my Aunt knew that we'd done more than just kiss (but never actually had sex). Anyway, my mom brought up that my Aunt didn't like our relationship, I said she just didn't like it and lied, and my mom used that as fodder for her argument. I couldn't let my lie fuel the fire, so I told my parents. Everyone got upset, and I ended up leaving.
Needless to say, when my husband, that same boyfriend, and I got married, that created even more of an uproar. And when I said I didn't want to go to college, my mom said my husband was taking away my dreams.
My Step-Dad's whole side of the family, that I've been a part of since I was 5, didn't come to my wedding. My Step-Dad, who I consider my Dad, didn't come to my wedding. I asked him to give me away and he reacted as if I'd cussed him out. Since then, I've been estranged from that side.
My mom's side wasn't much better. this past Christmas I finally said forget it, and decided not to be part of that family either. They treat my husband like dirt, none of them will even talk to him.
In that last two weeks, I've gotten together with a cousin from my step-dad's side of the family. She and her husband are black sheep, but her husband told me that as far as that family is concerned I am black listed. It was funny, he says "People have to spit after they say your name." I just thought that was hilarious.
Obviously, after leaving the house, my parents and I don't have a very good realtionship either. They think my husband made me leave them, thinks he made me "sin" and turned me from good to bad.
So really, I don't have any family anymore. I feel bad for my future children that they will only have my husband side's aunts and uncles and grandparents. But, I did what I thought was right, and I'm living my own life. No matter what they all think. And I am much happier for it!