Topic : Infidelity

I have been married for several years. Not the best marriage, however we have a child we are raising, and trying to see this through.

For the last couple of years there has been a Woman that hangs around one of the house's that a few of the men get together at a few times a week. Eventually, she started "dating" one of the guys. For sometime now I have suspected that my husband is "infatuated" with her. I have several reasons to beleive this as well as comments from other people. (Did I mention this girl is NOT attractive and low intelligence)

after quitely observing his behavier in her presence, I can only conclude that he is somehow infatuated with her. Maybe things have gone further, I really don't know.

I recently confronted him with what I had observed. Of course he hates confrontation and thinks I am crazy.

I do KNOW what I have seen, and feel whatever has happened or is going on is infidelity. I don't beleive you have to have intercourse to be unfaithful.

I am sick of the disrespect toward me, and of course the refusal to talk about the subject and just try to ignore it.

He has twice recently, yelled and screamed at me in front of her, as to put on a show for no good reason.

i would like some advice on how to handle this situation to regain my dignity, and try to get him to be honest and deal with this.

Thanks!

I have been married to my husband for 7 years now but has been together for 12 years. I just found out that he is texting a younger female from his personal phone. I asked him about this and he says that she wanted to talk about her marital affairs for advice. My husband is in the military and I know that females will have conversations with him but I think that this is too personal. I was told by him that he has not talked to her in 2wks.......that is a lie. They are texting each other on a daily basis. We are not communicating as we should. I want to believe that there is nothing going on but my heart tells me differently.

Sista, you are wise not to let your wish to believe what he says delude you. Cheaters always count on that.

It may not have progressed to the physical point but if not addressed, that is where it's headed.

Ask him what qualifies him to be a marriage counselor? Does he have a degree or certificate? He is obviously NOT being attentive to his own marriage, and so the rightful conclusion is that this is just an excuse to have a relationship with another woman.

Also, you know he is lying because you have proof.

So, you're next step would be to think about YOUR options and what YOU want to do. Know that doing nothing means nothing will change for YOU.

If you want to save your marriage, your actions might include seeing how willing he is to work with you, If you decide to pack it in, make your arrangements.

Just remember, he is the one that caused you to think about what is best and right for YOU. When he began this behavior, he took himself out of your considerations about what is right and best for YOU.

 It was his decision to seek whatever it is he feels he lacks from another instead of coming to you and finding a way to communicate his needs. He took a lazy and self-serving step to solve a problem that should have been solved between the two of you. You may hear things like you didn't pay enough attention to him, and they may be true, but the decision to look elsewhere was his.

The answer to your dilemma depends on what you expect from your husband and how you react to the truth.

Personally, I think that if your husband talked about getting back together with an old flame on the eve of your wedding, he is not ready for marriage to you or anybody else. The fact that he is now in contact regularly with this woman for hours at a time in various ways underscores that he is not ready for marriage.

You are entirely correct, he should be talking to you, not her or any other woman. The only time this would not be so is if you both discussed and agreed that an "open" marriage is what you both want. It may be emotional infidelity, but I think all out physical cheating is right around the corner if it hasn't already begun.

The question is whether you're going to keep listening to his excuses and letting him off the hook? What would he have to do in order for you to trust him again? What will you do if he is unwilling to do these things for you? How will you be assured that he is being faithful to you? What if he complies for awhile, but then goes back to old habits? Think about this, be very clear about your wants, and then confront him. It is likely that he will deny an affair til his death, most cheaters do so don't count on a confession. Be true to yourself and if he is not worthy of marriage, cut your losses before a huge loss of your own self esteem occurs.

Hello need some help. Me and my wife are together 24 hours a day 7 days awake. When we go out and any girl looks at me. We have had this problem since the beginning of our marriage. We have moved far away from were we were living because of her accusations. Now she keeps telling me that she can cheat to. I have not cheated on her not even once. We are always together so i do not understand her logic in her accusations. All of our fights are caused by this. When we are out i look at the ground or try to look sad so no one will talk to me. Please help

Your wife sounds insecure. Did she have a previous relationship that dissolved due to cheating? Or maybe her parents cheated?

Please don't take offense to this, but did you two get together while one of you was married or in a serious relationship with another?  Have you ever cheated, and she knows about it? Has she ever cheated and you know about it?

Sorry if this all sounds nosy, I'm trying to understand why she might be so insecure as to be jealous of another woman even looking at you.

Her insecurity may be a bottomless pit, and no matter what you do she may not get over it without some outside help. If you can determine where her insecurity springs from, you might want to discuss it with her. If this does not help, seek counseling.

I am at a point where I am unsure if I should continue my studies with Bachelor of Nursing degree. I hav worked in previous office admin positions and did not really enjoy the work but last worked as an Nurse Assistant and really enjoyed the job and decided to further my skills by studying.

Although I am enjoying my course I am torn between continuing with the course as I have a 10yr old daughter and 6yr old daughter and I am a single mum. We are living with my mum at the moment as it is financially better for us at the moment. I was relying on her to help me with my girls while studying, but now my mum's health is deteriorating and the reality is that I may not rely on her much now, for support. 

I also feel now, it is not fair to put this pressure on her, due to her health problems and her also getting older as she turns 64yrs old this year. 

Basically I feel that this is probably not the right profession for me at ths time, especialy when nursing involves shift work.. On the other hand am I being selfish if I feel that by pursuing my studies, at the end of the road we would be better off as I would earn more money and provide the girls more financial stability....Maybe I should delay studies until girls are older and find a job that is available during school hours?????

Could you please offer some advice?????