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Topic : Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Number of Replies: 1032
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 04:03:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Has the fire gone out in your love life? Share your ways to reignite romance in your relationship.

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August 21, 2009, 1:39 am CDT

At one time there was something.

Quote From: val8375

I met my husband when I was 16 and we've been together ever since.  I am now 34.  I've really tried to think back and I don't really ever think I was totally attracted to him.   I do love him but more like a brother.  We do lots of things that are fun together but I can't ever get that spark to happen.  He is in love with me and finds me attractive.  I haven't kissed him years.  We have sex and it is good actually, but I wouldn't say intimate. 

I am desperate for some ideas on how to fix this.  I see men everywhere that I am so attracted to and hate haveing those feelings for someone else!

In order for you to have stayed with him, there must be something that kept you from straying. You have been together for 15 years, thats definately long enough to get bored and want to look elsewhere. I give you credit for staying faitful for this long. I also give him credit too because men usually need attention. The fact that you don't even kiss ? But how do you make love and not kiss? That has to be wierd. Then its just an animal instinct and he may as well go to a hooker and you might as well have an affair. If there is no attraction, it could feel like abuse.  It is not healthy for either one.

 

But if you have kids, that is really the only reason to stay together. If you don't, then all the love in the world isn't going to bring a spark where there never was one. If you are parents than you need to honor that decision and stay together, for that reason. Lots of people have affairs and are happy in their marriages especially ones like yours. I am not suggesting an affair, but neither one is getting what they want, it probably is just a matter of time.

 

The fact that you find other men attractive is normal. I am sure your husband has a few ideas of his own with women he finds attractive too. Its normal to be sexually turned on to other people. Thats where committment and loyalty come in. I know a lot of women that cheat on their husbands, come home and the husband doesn't ask questions, as long as he gets his meals and sex he won't complain. The women get what they want, good loving and a secure home life. It can be done. If you want to stay with him, this may be your only option if you want to be happy sexually.

 

I wish you luck. Like I said, I am not an advocate for cheaters, but its going to happen eventually if it keeps going like this, I would stop fighting it, and start being honest with yourself. Good luck. Make sure you don't get pregnant or something dumb. :)

 
August 31, 2009, 10:34 pm CDT

falling apart alone

I have been married to my husband for 6 years.  we have two children, very smart and loving children.  our parenting is not an issue however we have had problems on our marriage that i am afraid are hard to fix.  I love my husband very much and would never do anything to hurt him....however in the past, I did cheat on him and have regretted it ever since.  He knows about the infidelity on my part but that still does not seem like our biggest issue.  I feel as if he just doesn't care anymore even though he recently said that we were going to get counseling to make things better for us and our family. I need advice and don't know where else to go.  anyone out there want to help me?
 
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