Topic : Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Hi everyone 

this ismy first time here but i really need some advice. I am 22 years old ive been with my husband since 19 but only been married scince may 05'.  We have an adorable little girl together. I am having such a hard time  latley we just don't communicate any more. we never  take time for ourselves and when i try to explain how im feeling or tell him what i need from him its like im speeking a differant laungage. Then i get  even more frusterated and we start fighting.  could someone please give advice

Hi,

I just want to say maybe you should approach the situation differently. Maybe you should try putting baby down early one night and make dinner and have a romantic meal together. Or  something. I don;t know what he likes so do something that you know he likes and show him that you miss those things and want to get it back. While your lying next to each other in bed, mention that you miss things that you had and see if that'll stir up something. If you feel that it'll start an argument, stop and don't react to the negative. That only makes things worse. Believe me that happened to me. When I didn't get the answer i wanted, I flew off the handle and made things worse. but take your time and try to figure out what made the fire die and try to strike a match to get it going again.

Good luck and take care

Aloha

~Ha-y-ngirl~

I'm a fan of Dr. Phil's books - really have enjoyed Family First and it brought up some things that I have been able to share with my husband and I think has improved some of our parenting. BUT my question now is - do I invest in Relationship Rescue - I've read the excerpts online but not the whole book. And I know my husband will not read it. QUESTION: IS IT WORTH ME READING ALONE. What are some of your thoughts if you have read it or done the workbook? Thanks in advance for your response.

I have been married for over 10 years now, together a total of 15.  I try in ever way to show my husband how much i love him.  I take care of the house, the kids, work full time and deal with the finances.  He basically only has himself to worry about. I deal with the rest and honestly don't mind.  My problem is he doesn't show any interest in me.  I have to literally beg for a hug or a kiss and then its a "ok here you go pat on the back kind of thing".  I have tried everything....the talk (didn't work), i leave him i love you notes and text messages, etc.  I can walk around the house in my undies and he doesn't even bat an eye much less touch me.  The part i don't understand is he shows affection with the kids and the dog....but yet i have to beg for it. his comment is always you know i love you...can anyone give me some advice on how to change this.....i am at witts end.

Honey - I wish I had the answer myself. I'll be watching for more responses to your question. I'm ready to try something new if someone has anything.

Okay

 

  I 1st off wonder if this happens in every marriage. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. He used to be so nice, and loved to cuddle and etc. Now, it's nothing, really. We NEVER and I really mean NEVER cuddle anyone. I asked him last night if we could and he said "I was almost asleep, you know". Ok. The thing that I dislike the most, is the other day, a set of blinds fell on me. Instead of asking if I was okay, he started to yell about how I should have rememberd that they were broken. If I cry at something on TV, like a movie, "Why are you crying...it's nothing to cry over" I feel as though I can show NO emotoin around him. I am to the point of just wanting to go on a trip together, just to two of us ( we have two kids) and seeing if anything is still there. I must admit I am scared bc it doesn't seem like the love is there anymore. PLEASE HELP!

Okay

 

  I 1st off wonder if this happens in every marriage. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. He used to be so nice, and loved to cuddle and etc. Now, it's nothing, really. We NEVER and I really mean NEVER cuddle anyone. I asked him last night if we could and he said "I was almost asleep, you know". Ok. The thing that I dislike the most, is the other day, a set of blinds fell on me. Instead of asking if I was okay, he started to yell about how I should have rememberd that they were broken. If I cry at something on TV, like a movie, "Why are you crying...it's nothing to cry over" I feel as though I can show NO emotoin around him. I am to the point of just wanting to go on a trip together, just to two of us ( we have two kids) and seeing if anything is still there. I must admit I am scared bc it doesn't seem like the love is there anymore. PLEASE HELP!

Tell him how you feel. BUT! don't use "you make me feel" instead use I'm feeling like this or that" example: Honey, I feel that we don't cuddle any more" or "I feel scared that there's no romance in our life anymore" . and " I really miss how you make me feel". I'm hoping that he'll catch the hint if you know what i mean. Try these samples and let me know what kind of response you get. Much luck to you!

take care and good luck.

Aloha

~Ha-y-ngirl.

Hello everyone.

I have been married for a couple years (we have been together for almost 7 years) and it has been hard to talk to this man all along.  I am seeing a therapist to work on a very bad traumatic event in my life but trying to work on us at the same time.  My husband is so good at shutting off his emotions that I am terrified of telling him I need him very badly right now emotionally.  We go thru "hun can ya do this for me" to " absolutely nothing.  And he is back in non emotional status.  This hurts and is driving me nuts.  If anyone has any ideas to help it would be appreciated.

We have been having massive problems for a couple years and it is really bad.  He won't open doors and i beleive ti is from fear of being as destroyed as his last divorce made him.  This is so frustrating.  But I know right now I need and deserve the emotional support.

I'm not married like most of you, but am in a committed relationship.  I can relate to your comment.  It feels as though they are perfect at the beginning and the feelings of importance and appreciation start to fade as time goes on.  I think it all comes down to what are you willing to settle for? I know when I express myself my partner hears me right? after all I couldn't have been attracted to an unintelligent man.  very confusing and misleading, definately a disapointment.  Happy days to you:)