Quote From: jettavActually, I didn't really say anything, only expressed how I felt and why I felt the way I did. I absolutely refused to have sex before I got married and he knew and understood that as well. Once we really started cimmunicated about our golas and desires, and even our fears, it was much easier to discuss the subject of marriage. I twas actually his fears that was gettting int he way of our relationship but the seperation though not long, helped a lot with that becuase he had time to think things through and think about his own personal issues and he had to figure out what he really wanted, he knew I was ready to settle down with him and though deep down, he wanted the same thing, he was allowing his fears to get in the way and when I suggested the seperation, that really got thim to thinking and he knew it was wiether we start talking marriage or it was over for us. It was basically him coming to the conclusion, I didn't push him to do anything, I left it open for him to decide but I wasn't about to back down on something that I felt so strong about and It hank God that he actually felt the same way.
In all honesty, I think you said in your original post that he wasn't pushing you to do anything, and that is good. I think yoou both just need to enjoy each other and continue to do fun things together, Don't put your self into a position that is going to cause you to have sex if that is the route you are leaning toward. When we were dating and we felt the erge for sex, we took our selves out of the postion, I even got to the point where he wasn't aloud in my apartment if it was just me and him, that would be setting ourselves up. One good thing about us,w as were hung out with friends a lot, we spent the the majority of our dating nights driving and waling the malls, and going to parties with friends, You just gotta think before you act, know what you want and how you feel and do not settle for less then what you deserve.
I understand why you want to wait for marriage and if this is what you feel to do then I say go for it but yet at the same time, there are many people who go to school and are married, You have to have balance and set priorities and everything can work out if the two of you really want things to work out. Marriage is not easy no matter what, I don't care if you are in school, working, have lots of money or not, you still have to work at it to make it strong, you need to communicate with each other, talk about your desires and goals together including your future marriage, If you work together, you can accomplish anything you want.
When my husband and I married, we didn't have much at all, we ussed a table with no legs, I laid it flat on the floor, used a pretty sheet for a table, tucked it under and it looked fabuolous with the pretty place mats and floewers int he middle of the table and we sat on the floor, wioth our legs crossed to eat, LOL, those are the times that we look back on and wouldn't tradefor anything. I think you just have to know what you want and go for it, When two people ar ein love and want to be together, it can happen as long as the motives are right, the priorities are set, and the desire is there to make things work and it has to be done together.
Ok, I have rambled enough, this is Monday and the weekend mess needs to be cleaned up, Laundry needs done, My 3 year old and I have plans to hang out and I am babysitting later today, May check back later but I do wish you the best of luck, and take your time and don't rush into something that you could regret later, have fun with life and follow your heart.
I really love your advice. That is what another person basically said to me too on the message boards...just enjoy everything the way it is now. And your right about school, there are many people that do both. I guess as long as I don't push anything in any direction, it should all fall into place. And I just wanted to say that your table story is so cute and romantic! It does seem like it would have been something the two of you would always remember. Thanks for your advice!
