Topic : Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

I hate to brag but my man is so romantic all the time. He always surprises me with different things. He makes love seem like heaven. After reading these messages i guess i have to say i am a lucky girl. He makes me feel like the only woman in the world.

You are very lucky and I hope you never take it for granted.

I have done so much soul searching, book reading, research, forum reading - but in the end until he is ready to put in the same amount of effort and actually acknowledge the need to do so, I don't see anything improving.  I hear you about the health issues - I started going with my DH to his Dr appointments, he misinterpreted, didn't hear or just flat forgot half of what his doctor said/says to him, and he doesn't answer correctly either - Doc asked him if he ever has any shortness of breath, and I 'll be darned if he didn't say NO, when just not long ago while on vacation he had some wheezing on exertion.  DUH, DING DING, if you can't even give the proper information they can't HELP YOU.  Since I work in the healthcare industry it has fallen to me to keep all his meds, tests, diagnosis, etc. straight.  That would be fine if he would follow his doctor's suggestions!!!  Okay, I won't even get started or I will be here all day long. 

 

I have considered individual counseling for myself also, as my hints and suggestions that is what we are needing are avoided like the plague.  I guess I just need to decide how much I can live without, how much I am willing to tolerate to "keep the peace" - he is a major conflict avoider, and I'm not real good at confrontation myself, so it is difficult to keep him on track, even after he promises to get back the next day with discussions.  Grrrrrrrr....  Lots of red flags, which he doesn't agree even exist.  He doesn't get it that if one of us thinks there is a conflict,/problem/issue whether the other agrees or not, it STILL EXISTS.  At the end of my very frayed rope.... 

 

 

You are indeed lucky.  Just remember to do all you can from your side to feed that flame and keep it bright. 

When I started dating my boyfriend of two & a half years, I thought he was the romantic type but I was so wrong. He doesn't spoil or pamper me nomatter what ocassion. It was my birthday recently & he didn't do nothing, not even a present,  not even a rose! What really hurts the most is that I always go out of my way & even save the little that I have to make his unforgettable. I have talked to him about it but he always promises to do better but never does. My love for him is slowly dying & it scares me.

I am trully happy for you. You are one lucky woman so hold on to this miracle

I've been married almost 7 years.  We have a toddler.  I didn't feel that "spark" or "chemistry" everyone talks about.  So there is nothing to reignite.  Can this marriage really last.  I feel so bad.  What should I do?

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. We have three girls, ages 6, 3, and 2. My husband works 12-14 hours a day and then his company do a lot of "wineing and dining" of clients by taking them hunting or fishing, so most weekends he's gone at least one of those days doing that. I know it's part of his job, but we have definitely lost the "spark" between us. We don't ever go out to eat by ourselves and I don't think it even dawns on him that I need time away from the kids and to feel special. We have fallen into such a routine of day to day life that the romance is gone. When I have tried to tell him that we need time together, he either says "I know, we need to go out together" but he can never get away from work long enough to do it. Sometimes, he gets aggravated, saying that he's doing the best he can do, but he feels guilty leaving the kids, since he sees them so little. He doesn't "hear" me anymore when I try to tell him things I would like for my birthday, mother's day, etc., so I usually end up getting my own gifts and letting him know what I got. I left it up to him for Christmas this past year and he gave me Corning Ware! If I fuss about the gift, he'll say "why should I get you anything? You fuss about everything I get you"

We get along most of the time, but we are just going through the motions and I'd like a little romance back in my life. Is this asking too much?

My husband and I have a tween and a teen and are currently reading a book together, which I highly recommend. Red Hot Manogomy by Bill & Pam Farrell. Excellent, easy to read book on rekindling/and or kindling romance, connecting to one another. It is helping us alot, it's just finding the time to implement some of the things we have learned. We go on intentional dates each Saturday while our teen watches our tween and we discuss what we have read and discuss things which we haven't been able to throughout the week. The first thing to do if the fire has gone out of your love life is to get some matches, a lighter and start working on that fire. It could be that there are no matches or a lighter available, well, start rubbing sticks together! Some medaphor, huh? Seriously, people too often jump ship because, "my needs aren't getting met" WAH, WAH, WAH! Stop complaining and do something about it! Nobody said marriage was going to be easy you know! Marriage is like making pancakes, sometimes they come out perfectly round, sometimes they look a bit oval and sometimes they get burnt, but if you want pancakes for breakfast, you need to make some more batter and try again. More medaphors!! Well, that's all the advice I have for now. Godspeed to all and to all a goodnight!

In our "me, me, me, instant gratification" society, one tends to think, "He/She isn't making me happy",...well, wah, wah, wah, wah, stop complaining and do something about it! Seek counsel, read a Dr. Phil book, Self Matters, Relationship Rescue are two good ones. Treat your spouse/significant other how YOU would want to be treated and see how it works. I did this and it worked. Not overnight, but it worked! We also are reading a book together...Red Hot Monogomy by Bill & Pam Farrell...not a preachy book, but biblical based. All it takes sometimes is for us to put a bit more sugar in the coffee and it gets sweeter (I just thought of that, sorry if it's korny!)