Topic : Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Hi,

Well my husband and I have been married now for almost 7 yrs. come the 24th of Feb. We've been through alot. About 2 years ago, We had some "friends" of mine ( if that's what you want to call them) stay with us for about 1 year. Well We had just had our 3rd child, 2 months before that, We were having problems and I thought it would be nice for us to help others, and maybe help ourselves. Well my marriage was falling apart, and before I knew it I had an affair with the guy who was living with us. I knew afterwards it was wrong, but at that moment I didn't know how to act... I mean I'm bi-polar and I had been off my meds. for awhile, and I hadn't dated really til I was out of high school and out of my parents house. My husband has been married once before and had a daughter. That marriage didn't last very long, and he says it was his experimental marriage. We have been having alot of problems since then, we've moved about 5 times within the year, and we have 3 children, which the youngest lives with my parents because of all of this and because I wasn't takeing my meds. Now Im 5 1/2 months pregnant, and we've moved again. Im not sure what to feel at this time. I sometimes don't know what to feel about my baby on the way. My feelings towards my husband should be better, but we have these problems. My husband does know about the affair- after I left him for about 1 month to try to figure out what I wanted and how to support my kids, Well we ended up back together and all, but sometimes he throws the affair up in my face, and says about trust. Well I have a hard time trusting him to support his family. I mean my parents have supported us alot and it's time that they didn't. How do I make my marriage stronger, and better, like we were before we married?

I am 22 years old, married for a little over 2 years.  I have 2 kids, a 2 yr old and an almost 1 yr old.  So here's the deal with me.  I had my son when I was 20 and met my husband while I was pregnant.  We spent most of our relationship being very far away from eachother and I thought that it was a good thing bc we were spending our time talking instead of being physical with eachother.  So we got married when my son was 3 months old and he is a very good father to him.  After being married about a year we got pregnant and had my daughter.  Now things are ok, but they could be better.  Since we were already parents when we got married and we are very young, the parent thing completely took over!  He is constantly bugging me about sex and I never want to have it.  By the end of the day I am exhausted from chasing after 2 kids that I want nothing to do with him at all.  And when he tries to cuddle with me, I push him away bc once again I am trying to sleep and I feel very uncomfortable with him all over me.  Im not big on affection and he is so we are constantly butting heads.  We are at the point of not being physical whatsoever and honestly I dont even miss sex!  I mean he isnt bad at it or anything, so I dont know what my problem is!!!  Is it me? Is it him?  I love my husband very much and I want to make this marriage last a lifetime, but I know if things dont change then the lifetime part might not be very realistic.  I know there are alot of things that we did that we shouldnt have.  I know that we shouldnt have rushed into a marriage and having another baby.  I know that we went about it all wrong.  But the truth is, we're here now so how do I make sure that even though we made mistakes, we can stand here today and have a happy marriage and family. 

 You think looking at PORN is OK obviosly you have real problems and this message is nothing more than your sick way of trying to justify that. It is almost like you are explaining why it is acceptable for you to look at Porn perhaps for your spouse/partner. When someone as sick as you trys to convince others that it is right to be sick and twisted, just like you, then you need to seek help,and I pray you do not have kids. Marriage is not about talking about every bad thing someone does but rather looking at the good things and forgiveness. But there are things that can not and should not ever be forgiven cheating is one and when you stare at PORN that is pretty much what you are doing, do the math MR. SICK. Please seek help.

My finace and i have been together for 5 years, with a long engagement of a year and 5 months. My honey and i recently had a rather uncomfortable discussion on including a different female in our romantic life. He wants the two of us, he and i, as well as another girl to join in. The discussion took a really bad turn and he told me that as much as he loves me that he has a need to be with someone else, but he wants me to be there and promised profusely that if we did this he wouldnt ever go behind my back because he wouldnt need to, and that he wouldnt do that unless i was there and agreed, and to sum it all up it came to either i agree to a threeway, or he'll go behind my back.

 Just as a little history on the scenario, his mom and dad divorced when he was 13 because his dad fooled around on his mom. I love him more than anything and i dont want our beautiful relationship to end.

 We tried him just watching, but that wasnt enough. I am not a prude by any means, and i am open to new things, i have always tried to give him what he wants, and i have decided the decision for both of us to consentually agree to have someone else join may just relight  our romance. There are stipulations though, he isn't allowed to do certain things with her, like kissing, or oral play. Also, there has to be a level of anominity, i dont want to get to know the girls, therefore i wont have to worry about him leaving me for one of them. Most importantly, it has to be protected. I told him straight up that if there is no protection there is no go. Is this a normal occurance in relationships? Does anyone else have a similar experience and can give me some advice? We havent done it yet, but are going to soon. I need some help!

I have been married to the same man for almost 37 years. Seven years ago he started his own business. He convienced me to come and work for him as his receptionist. He has a girl working for him but because she was rude to customers on the phone and her personal appearance wasn't the best this was his reason for wanting me to come to work for him.

I worked for him for four years. June of 2007 she and I had an exchange of words over something I had ask her to do. I had ask her to take care of a fax I was expecting from a customer. Get the work out into the factory asap. she said o.k. and I ran the errand my husband had ask me to.

For several weeks prior to this she and I hadn't been speaking to much. The reason for this was she had questioned me about money I spent on the company at my husbands request. My husband has a partner who is the CEO of the company.

I mentioned this to my husband one evening at dinner. He said she was just worried about money and kinda passed it off. The next day he told his partner about what had happened and his partner said he would speak to her about it. He said it would be better coming from him rather than my husband because I was his wife. Supposedly he told her that she needed to show me a little more respect because technically I was a third owner in the company.

This made things worse between her and I. She just quit speaking to me all together.

That really didn't bother me because for 4 years I had been stepping on egg shells with her. My husband told me when I first started that on Mondays she would be in a bad mood because she drank on the weekends and was hungover on Monday, so don't speak to her until she speaks to you. He said everyone knew this and just delt with it.

To make a long storie short, The day that I ask her to take care of the fax she said she would and I ran the errand. When I got back she had gone to lunch. I went into her office and the fax was in the machine and the paperwork was still on her desk. She had not taken care of it so I took it and did it myself. When she got back she ask if I had taken the paper off her desk. I said I had and she started slamming drawers and mumbling to herself. I went to her door and ask what the problem was and she looked at me and said nothing and I told her I knew something was wrong so what was it. She got up and said she had work to do and to leave her alone. She then walked out into the factory.

I was boiling by this time.

In just a few short minutes my husband and his partner came back from lunch. I told my husband that he better find out what her problem was. He ask what went on and I told him. His response was "SHE IS WHAT SHE IS".  I replied to him, Is this all you have to say and he repeated it. At that time I told him I was done and all he said was "Take your computer with you when you go"

I was so hurt, disappointed, mad and betrayed.

I started gathering up my things and our salesman (who overheard her & My conversation) came to me and said I couldn't leave. He said if I did he would too. I just told him not to do anything stupid.

That evening when my husband came home he told me that he and his partner had called her into the office and talked to her. He said she would probably come in on Monday and quit. He was very upset that she might quit and he said his partner was to.

Not one mention of how I was dealing with it, or he and his partner speaking to me Nothing. This happened in June. It has ate at me and still is to this day. I ended up in the hospital for a week in Aug. with the shingles and then a week later I had to have my gallbladder taken out. When I spoke to the doctor he ask me what was bothering me. I explained to him what had happened. He said that this was probably what put me in the hospital. He told me I need to express to my husband how he made me feel and get it off my chest.

I have not done this because I don't  want to argue with him. He is the type of person who twist things around to make it sound like it is my fault and it just would end up making me feel even worse. I love my husband very much but this experience has affected our relationship. Our sex life is usually once a week and there is no romance anymore. He don't acknowledge my birthday, or our anniversay. When I ask him about it he says he gives me affection everyday. After 37 years of marriage wouldn't you think the man would know that a card or some flowers would mean so much or just a suprise every now and then.

Ok,

Ive had some problems with my marriage and all and have posted like 2 of them on here, but have not gotten a response. I thought we could get some advise on some issues, but I haven't had anything.  I want

my marriage to be better, I want our relationship to be like it was when we first met. Please anyone have any advise?

confused...

Is she going with the partner or is she a  niece,or something?This doesn't sound right. Do they feel sorry for her for some reason that they don't want to ruffle her feathers or something. Does she know something that you all don't know? Why are they letting her "run" the company and give demands and stuff? You only asked for a simple task to be done and she didn't even get it done. and when you took it back to get it done, What was the problem? I don't see anything wrong with what you did. I'd fish deeper into this and find the real source of the relationship between the partners and this girl! Very suspicious. Your husband needs to be reminded how he is married to and who is more important, You the wife of 37 years or a young little you know what, that doesn't know what is best for everyone and only thinks of herself.

think about this and find the answers!

aloha