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Topic : 12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Number of Replies: 684
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Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:20:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/26/06) It’s do or die for the men today, as their partners tell them to either walk down the aisle or walk the highway! Tony and Mary have dated for 12 years, and have been engaged for eight. Mary wants to set a wedding date, but Tony says even after all these years, he’s not ready and still feels pressured to tie the knot. Does Tony fear getting married or getting married to Mary? Then, Rosanna has been dating her boyfriend, Dennis, for almost five years and says she’s tired of “playing house.” Dennis maintains that he told Rosanna from the start he didn’t want to get married. Should they just throw in the towel and move on? Plus, Robin shares some relationship tips, and the women finally take a stand and issue ultimatums for their men! Join the discussion.

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September 23, 2006, 8:42 am CDT

same boat

I find myself sailing in this same boat!!  Glad to know that I am not alone -- my boyfriend/fiance and I have been together for 13 years and he cannot take the next step to marry me either!  I have been given beautiful diamonds and asked but he just can't do it.  And now it is like a forbidden topic of conversation  it has driven a wedge between us to the point that I am now in the process of trying to get my life together to leave him for good.  I mean I have supported him for 13 years in the things he has wanted to do career wise and when I want this one thing it just doesn't fall in his radar screen.  So,  without his knowledge I am preparing to leave - some may say that that isn't fair but neither is stringing me along for 13 years!  It's time for me to stand up for me and take care of what I want and to heck with this,  I guess if he truly loved me it probably wouldn't be an issue would it?! 
 
September 23, 2006, 9:15 am CDT

Get a grip

 Have you women not gotten the message yet?  Even if he agreed to marry you now, after all this, why in God's name would you want to marry these guys, and why don't you wake up to the fact that if you haven't been able to work out this Most important issue, if you did marry them, the marriage would likely fail...........................Look at past history and how much time you have wasted on these losers and how much of your life you have given up for nothing.  Stop it now.  Old enough to know better in Texas
 
September 23, 2006, 9:56 am CDT

Can't wait for show

I am divorced with two boys. Have a serious relationship with a female, but I don't want to get married or have more kids. I have told her this so she can get on with her own life.
 
September 23, 2006, 10:38 am CDT

Crazy in love or just crazy

If you have to give your partner an ultimatum then you don't need to be getting married.  People this is love not a test.  Get on with your life because right now you are at the end of a Dead End street.  Turn around and try another road.  Life is too short and real love is just that Real Love.
 
September 23, 2006, 10:47 am CDT

Marry me or else

It is sad that many couples today shag up and never take that important step to make their relationship permanent and official. In many cases, men are coming up with excuses that they are not ready, yet they are ready at any time to jump in bed and create a child.  In their minds, they think that since they get what they want, why should they need to get into a deeper commitment to get the same that they already have. And for women, they say, someday, someday it will happen.....Hello, wake up!! They are very selfish and they don't take their children's welfare and sense of security seriously. It is time to say, I'm leaving to start a new life if you are not commited. Let the other show their true self by either come clean with their commitment or show that they don't have what it takes to make a commited relationship.

 
September 23, 2006, 11:18 am CDT

13 years

I too have been with my significant other since June '93. We'd both left bad 9 yr. marriages, & he said he never wanted to marry again. He was up front, never played games, nor strung me along. While I wouldn't say no if he asked me to marry him today, I am content, loved, taken care of, & at this point don't need the paper that says we're TOGETHER. He bought us a house, & God forbid anything happen to him, I am taken care of for the rest of my days if I'm 'widowed'. Our kids are grown, we see them all the time, & we love our grandkids. I am 51 & he is 42. If Dennis was up front from the beginning, then it was her choice to stay, KNOWING he didn't want marriage...she could have said forget it from the start, and moved on to find 'the marrying type'. As for me, I have been more blessed than any woman I know...we love, we talk, we laugh, & most important, we NEVER argue, nor have we ever used foul language to one another. He even still holds my hand through stores & parking lots, & we always cuddle 'after'... :-)) Diane

 
September 23, 2006, 11:28 am CDT

If you have waited.....

that long, why do you continue to let these guys USE you?  Which is what they are doing.  Shake up their comfort zone and leave.  Only then will you find out if they are serious about marrying you.  If they don't, don't be surprised if they take up with somebody else post haste and marry them.  Like the book "He's Just Not That Into You" says, he may want to get married, but not to you, but he's not going to say that he's just not that into you.  And if he won't be honest with you about it, why would you want to be married to him anyway?  Move on ladies, you're only wasting your life with indecisive bums! 
 
September 23, 2006, 11:44 am CDT

re:can't wait for show

Quote From: kc8bhv

I am divorced with two boys. Have a serious relationship with a female, but I don't want to get married or have more kids. I have told her this so she can get on with her own life.
I applaud you for raising your boys, as well as being honest with your lady from the start. If she wants her own children & a marriage, she knows she can't stay with you. If she's content with you & your family, good luck to you all. My guy & I have shared 13+ yrs. now, and finished raising our kids together. We never married, & now the kids are grown and we love our grandkids. The best to you. Diane
 
September 23, 2006, 12:50 pm CDT

Just my opinion folks

I honestly believe that marriage is not for everyone.  And, if a person is totally against marriage you really should not try to force some one or change the mind of someone who is against it.  But, this is my opinion.  I have not seen the show about "forcing somebody to commit.)  Each relationship is different.  As a general rule I don't believe you should try to convince, cajole, or whatever for something that they don't want.  In other words, there other types of relationships other than marriage that couples can be happy with.

 

clara

 
September 23, 2006, 1:37 pm CDT

09/26 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: bettyd55

I too have been with my significant other since June '93. We'd both left bad 9 yr. marriages, & he said he never wanted to marry again. He was up front, never played games, nor strung me along. While I wouldn't say no if he asked me to marry him today, I am content, loved, taken care of, & at this point don't need the paper that says we're TOGETHER. He bought us a house, & God forbid anything happen to him, I am taken care of for the rest of my days if I'm 'widowed'. Our kids are grown, we see them all the time, & we love our grandkids. I am 51 & he is 42. If Dennis was up front from the beginning, then it was her choice to stay, KNOWING he didn't want marriage...she could have said forget it from the start, and moved on to find 'the marrying type'. As for me, I have been more blessed than any woman I know...we love, we talk, we laugh, & most important, we NEVER argue, nor have we ever used foul language to one another. He even still holds my hand through stores & parking lots, & we always cuddle 'after'... :-)) Diane

betty55 I think you just described my life. Although we have only been together since 98 I personally have tried marriage 3 times and I have NEVER been happier than I am today. We don't talk about getting married because we feel we are married to each other already. The only thing missing is a simple piece of paper. Who needs a piece of paper to be happy. But to each their own.
 
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