Topic : True Love

I'm a true believer of TRUE LOVE.  I know it exists, because of my husband and I.  We have been married for 29 years and still loving it. Yes, problems or disagreements come, but they are NOT ALLOWED to stay.  Our love is stronger than any obstacle.  When you truly love someone, ALL things are open and naked with each other.  So I say to all people, Love yourself and be true to yourself and that special person with the same heart will find his/her way to you.  Thanks for being a beautiful example, Dr. Phil and Robin.  By the way, she always compliment you and you both make each other look good.

 

Keep on sharing and caring,

 

Lesia

My husband and I have been married for going on 6 years, together for almost 9. We have two beautiful children. Last year we had a huge "falling out". He told me he wasn't in love with me anymore. Then when it was decision time I told him we needed to talk. He then told me he made a mistake with telling me he wasn't in love anymore. Well we worked everything out enough to say yes we will give it another try. While he is committed to us and going forward and moving on, I am at a stand still. It's just that with him telling me that, I can't seem to get past it. He tells me I need o move forward and that we will make it. Am I being selfish for not being able to forget about this and move on? I feel like I am being very selfish, for lack of a better word.

I thought it did, but I no longer believe it does.

When I was 16 and in High School I met this great guy. We went together and because of trouble with the foster home I was in I ended up moving to his house with his parents.

We had some problems because of our age and I made the mistake of cheating on him.

Of course we broke up but it didn't end there. We saw each other over the years and still had our connection. We finally stopped seeing each other when we were about 24.

Over the years I was married three times but often thought of my first love. I would still cry when I heard the songs we had played and I hated myself for the problems I had caused.

To back up a little at 21 I had my first born son and honestly felt he was my first loves.

Anyway, at 55 and single I found him again on Classmates.com. He was now divorced also. He had been married 35 years to the same person and had two grown children. I sent him a message and said that I was very sorry for any pain I had caused him and wish we could be friends.

We started emailing each other and after about two month of that and seeing each other I moved in with him. I was in heaven! He was so loving and affectionate, caring etc. I was where I had always wanted to be.

After 3 years we were married. Again I was in heaven and thought all my dreams had come true.

A year later we moved to another state and got our own beautiful house. We both loved it and I still do.

But that's when things began to change. He stopped being loving, affectionate, caring etc. It's been almost 4 years and now we are like just friends and at times not even that. I feel very lonely most of the time even with him sitting next to be. We have no emotional contact other than a kiss good morning, he sleeps in the recliner downstairs and I in one of the upstairs bedrooms alone, a kiss good bye when someone is going somewhere, and a kiss goodnight. That's it. These are more like pecks.

I resent him for being this way. I buy books, we went to counseling, and am tired of trying to make it work.

Most of the time I wish he would just leave and move in with his daughter who he thinks is the greatest.

So, again, does true love really exist?

 

hi i read your story, i am 46 and married for only 12 years but havent slept together in same room for 4 years. i am upstairs in the guest room. sometimes i dont  even get the usual g-morning, or g-night peck.

i am kinda similar in the way that, i recently ran into what i call my first love. he is available and wants me to leave this unhealthy relationship, and try again with him. OMG i'm scary confused. my husband provides, security from now on til death. life ins. 401K. medical, beautiful log home on 11 acres, good job, great income. hes not selfish. gives me all money can buy, but just isn't in-love with me. feels more like a father, daughter relationship, and i got use to comfort and security. but my heart wants to run to my 1st love and never look back.

I read your reply to my original post and our situations are so much a like.

 

I don't know what to do and feel like I'm ready to explode sometimes. I want to cry but more than anything I resent the fact he doesn't care. I have tried to talk to him, I have bought books, we have gone to counseling etc. It's like he's decided he's OK and I'm the one who needs to do all the changing.

He's like a brother who I don't like very much most of the time.

So know you are not alone, but be careful. Your old love might just end up being like mine.

 

I honestly thought i found true love with my husband.  We have been together for 6 years and when we first got together you could look at us and tell we was in love.  Our marriage is falling apart.  I am beginning to wonder if we was truely in love or in love with the fact of being in love.  We both have issues with the other but I believe mine is bigger than his.  I know everybody always says that but mine issues with him involves the two kids we have.  First off my husband says I never have sex.  Which I do agree that I don't have sex with him like I should.  Also he says another thing that bothers him is that my house don't stay spotless.  I have two kids and I do EVERYTHING myself.  Nobody helps me and I NEVER get a break.  I never get a babysitter nor do I get help with the house.  We do not have enough space for all of our clothes so therefore I have no where to put them.  I have to just stack them in our room and it looks terrible.  Well in my opinion he should build me a closet.  Anyway my issue with him is that he lies to me all the time.  He has been lying to me for over a year now and I can't believe anything he says.  He also does drugs and I DO NOT agree with that and I think that will effect our kids one day.  Our kids doesn't know and if they EVER found out I would leave!  Let me say that my kids our my number 1!  He don't do enough drugs that you can tell he is high but I know.  I can't stand someone who does drugs and I don't know what to do.  I do love him but I don't know if I would be better off without him or better yet if my kids would be.  He says he has changed and stopped everything but I didn't.  What he don't understand is that I can't help but to feel the way i do.  No matter what our problems are they should never be drugs involved.  I can't understand where he is coming from because i am so against it.  I love my husband and he is my financial supporter and I am kinda stuck.  I just wish I knew something to do because I am emotionally broke down.  I don't know how much more I can take.  It is so hard to act like everything is okay in front of our kids and family.  I have got to figure something out before I go crazy.  It is so embarrasing that this is happening.  I can't believe that he has put us in this situation.  He is all about himself and nobody else.  This is just how I feel.  I feel like if he cared about me or his kids he would stop.  It's not like he can't because he has and then went right back.  I might be harsh but I really don't care how hard it is on him I think he should still think about his kids and quit.  I know im sounding harsh but this is where i am at this point.  When he stopped last time I was really supportive and we did start to have sex alot more but now he is saying we didn't and I don't know what I am talking about.  So what do you say to that?  I might be on the wrong board but I just need advice.

I need some advice before making a life changing decision....

 

About 2 years ago I met my husband. Only 3 months after meeting, I got pregnant. Our son is almost a year old now, and we have been married for 6 months. I am already thinking I do not want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am not attracted to him and we have sex only about twice a month. I believe we got married only because of the baby, I wanted to do "the right thing". The truth is, I am still very much in love with my ex-fiance. There is a chance I could still be with him and be truly happy if I do get a divorce. I don't know if I should stay and try to make my marriage work, or leave while my son is young enough that he won't know what is going on. I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks.

I have been in what I think might be an abusive relationship???I have 5 kids 1 with him.All was great our 1st year, it has now been 4 yearsduring this time I have moved out about 6 times to only always miss him & easily take him back. He has many great qualities that I love but also he has a tendency to want everything perfect all the time, & with 5 great really well behaved kids he still always has a complaint,I really work hard & so do the kids, its like now we do stuff not to make him happy but to avoid hearing him complain, but is still never good enough.I cant understand why is it that he isnt happy or are we in his way ? He says he loves all of us & thinks that we should all know are jobs by now & always thinks that I need him to "show me how to run a household' No matter how perfect the house or the kids are he is not happy....What do I do??? I have now left him again,kinda a long ways away from him right now, but still on good terms. He says he wants to move over here with us. I kinda feel free but at the same time want him around the kids dont though, I think its because they want to do whatever they want now that hes not here to complain.Give me some guidance, I really want my marriage to work but I also feel I deserve more, I am a very giving person its what I love to do. I only want appreciation, & dont ever get it. I also want that friendship kinda relationship we use to have..

I can relate to you,I also have kids only I have 5 of them. They are also my #1. It sounds like you are alot like me, always pleasing everyone else. Never time for you & let alone time or anyways real quality time for him. You probally have sex only to get it overwith, which we all do sometimes. My advice would be to try to make a little bit of together time & try not just get it overwith.Really let your love show, & ask him to help you out if he wants the love nights to continue,explain that you get worn out with the kids and cant focus on him or yourself because you get tired from all the work around the house. As for the clothes laying areound in your room,well tell him you both deserve a love haven & he should build you a closet. About the drugs well I went through that for a while and  acting like you dont know about it doesnt make it go away I did that. Your gonna have to talk to him about how you feel. Tell him how the kids are looking up to him and if they found out well it really hurt them too. Take it one day at a time and take time out for you too.