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Topic : 12/29 Drunken Mistakes

Number of Replies: 340
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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:41:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/10/06) Dottie is concerned for her 22-year-old daughter, Carly, because her drinking is out of control. Carly has already been arrested for driving under the influence, but she still drinks and drives! Dottie fears Carly will end up killing herself or someone else. Carly says she knows she has a problem, but drinking is the only way she can have a good time. Then, Heather and Sierra's brother was killed by a drunk driver, Michael, who also happened to be his friend. Michael received a sentence of five to 11 years, but wants his time reduced. He joins the show via satellite from prison and has a proposal for Dr. Phil. See what Dr. Phil has to say to this offender and talk about the show here.

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October 7, 2006, 1:48 pm CDT

All of us Addict/Alcoholics know she has not hit yet.....

 

 

         You know I had a 33 year addiction and have been clean for 21/2 years...I am grateful in my DUI I did not hurt anyone but myself (physically) but emotionally I hurt my family enormously!!!  I had a terrible car wreck and darn near died...but my family had to suffer and watch them do major brain surgery on me!!! But you know what?? Since I did not feel it when I got off of probation I started all over again!!!! Then I almost lost my daughter...went  to rehab. in order to keep her..pleased my family for a while and started again...You know I got so sick, physically, bleeding everywhere, couldn't touch me, couldn't eat, drank but it came back, sick that it made me go to the hospital and THEY told me I was going to die very soon if I kept this up....THAT WOKE ME UP and now I realize there is nothing better than conquering my past, present and future with a clear head and lots of assistance from other people that have the EXACT SAME PROBLEMS!!!

 

 
October 7, 2006, 3:42 pm CDT

drunk

Quote From: summersun

 

This is ridiculous.  If Carly is drunk and someone is there watching her get in a vehicle, take the bleeping keys away from her.  She obviously has a problem if she "can't have fun without alcohol."  If and when she ever deals with that problem is up to her.  For the sake of the rest of us on the road who do drive sober.............take the keys away.

 

Yeah, we all say its sounds harsh until she is dead, or God forbid she puts someone through the pain and torture of killing their loved one.  Some tough love is due here.  Take her vehicle for a period until she does drive only when sober, call the cops when she is driving drunk, or take the keys away until she is sober............make a stand and save a life.

 

I've taken keys away and called cabs.  I've called the cops on people I could not reason with.  I've taken my neices car away when she would not listen.  And I too had to seek help for addictions.  Stop the sensitive BS and take a stand with this obvious hurting and irrisponsible person/child and step in and put down some boundries.  Be a parent and do your job.  Someone do something other than stand by and watch this horribly inexcusable behavior go on and on until a horrific tragedy strikes. 

Face it this person is a drunk.  I have a friend who runs a half way house and there are so many people there with these problems.  I also have a friend in jail who was drunk and killed a man he is doing 11 years.  Mabey someone should take her to one of those recovery meetings.  This is aufal.  My girlfrind's daughter was killed two days before graduation and it was her only child.  Some one must take the responsiblity or she is going to end up in a very bad, sad, place.
 
October 7, 2006, 10:36 pm CDT

Get Help before it's too late

My daughter was with some friends one night when she was 17 years old.  They were all drinking and thought they were having a good time.  She didn't come home that night.  We were asked to come to the hospital and identify her body in a body bag.  Not my plan for her future.  Please, Carly, get help now before it's too late. Our daughter does not have a life anymore.  There are not enough words to describe what life has been like since that night.  We have gone on with our lives and I am involved with MADD and trying to make a difference.  That still doesn't fill that empty spot in our hearts that was left when Tanya died.   
 
October 8, 2006, 12:24 am CDT

Eleven years is not enough time

Unless we put these drunks away for a long time they will just keep on doing what they've been doing. Drunks who kill people when they drink and drive should be subjected to the same jail times and those who use a gun to kill someone.
 
October 8, 2006, 10:32 am CDT

The real effects of drinking

Hello,

II read several stories today, all of them heartbreaking. But what I didn't see (I did not read them all, sorry), is what effects drinking has on your body. Some irreversable. I drank socially since I was in my teens. But by my 20's I was streetched too thin (single mom, no support) and a drink was my reward on the weekends and after work, at home. Id did this for anoth 20 years. My work never suffered, but I did. There were so many things happeneing in my life that I just couldn't handle, and drinking was the balance I needed. What I didn't know was what it had been doing to my liver. My story is very long and horrible, but I will cut to the chase. In 2002 I got in a car accident, no drinking involved, but this gal came into the intersection and I broadsided her. She has no insurance, nothing and was OK. I had been on the job 3 days. It left me with neurological problems, 20/200 vision (legally blind), neuropathy from my hips down, neck, back and spine injuries, which are still not yet addressed by the doctors, WHY? because I had no $ and no medical insurance. So, handicapped, I tried, not kknowing where to turn first. And because of my lack of vision, my license get cancelled until I could read the eye chart.  I drank more to cope, but mostly to ease the pain. And I was pretty bad off and was drinking constantly for a whole year. I collapsed on 8/2003, fell into a coma, awoke a week later to find my grandpa had died at 97, whom I was caring for/staying with, I had end stage liver disease(cirrhosis) which is (% functioning, kidney failure (43% functioning), low grade diabetes, and a bunch of other problems. Now mind you I had to deal with all this alone and by myself, with no way to get there. I had to undergo paracentesis for about 10 months. Every three weeks I had to go to radiology to have them cyphen out about 2 gallons(20 pounds) of fluid from my lower abdomen. It was like being 10 months pregnant every 3-4 weeks. Very painful as you can't eat and all that fluid presses onyour lungs and stomach. Then I had to apply for social security and finally got approved 2/2004 with MediCare to follow in 2 years. However, I was told that I wouldn't make it to even 2 years without the transplants. So I went to Stanford University Hospital. I was told to get my papers in order. So I made out my own will, power of attorney, advanced directive, DNR and I had to get my funeral stuff together, and so I got and paid for my Neptune Society burial. Then Stanford deferred me twice. I couldn't hang out there anymore, as my rent was $845/month and my SS was onyl $936/month, I had to move as I couldn't aford to live in CA. So I moved out opf  state. I've been here one year. I do not qualify for anything here, I make TOO much. So I have not been able to see a doctor in this whole year. Until I saw a liver specialist. He said that there is nothing he can do except try and comfort me and give me some quality of life. Said I should be happy that I surpassed the 2 year mark by an extra year. No I'm not real happy. Although by nature I am. This has been something short of HELL for me these past 3 years. I have tried the best I could with what I have. I have to say that my faith (and Milk thistle) has kept me alive throughout this whole ordeal. After my doctor visit, I lost all hope.. I drank, the other night. Somehow I ended in the hospital. They kept me for several hours and sent me hoem by cab. The don't know me, they could have given me anything that could have killed me because no one knew me or knew about me and my health. Matter of fact the nurse said my liver was fine whwen I asked. It's not and I know that, I have the tests to prove it. I also have a tummy that you can feel the bumps of cirrhosis. I

I will celebrate (?) my 50th birthday next month. WOW. This is NOT where I saw myself 10 years ago. And there is no solution. I tried. I have written Dr.Phil a million times (in my head) but I didn't think he'd want to read my whole story, which would be around a million pages long.

I do want to say that there IS hope. But you have to have people who love you around you. You have to have faith, a must. And most of all, you have to be accountable for your behavior. Bottom line is this disease doesn't care where you've been or who you are or how much you hurt. It just knows it can alter your mind into thinking the booze is helping. Its a silent killer that doesn't give you any warning signs, except the ones you choose to ignore, like DUI's. It doesn't mean you are dying, but it should be a wake up call. We don't hear much about the disease, just the DUI's.

If you drink for a reason, that should be the warning sign to stop. I know we don't hear about what really happens because most of us are dead before we can tell our story. I had my kidney specailist tell me "I'd like to see you do something with what you know". And hopefully this first attempt to share with you all a little bit about my thoughts on drinking may touch or reach just ONE person. Then my death would not be in vain. I just wish I had more resources to get my experience out to everyone. We all need to be heard. We all need to be loved. And we all deserve quality of life. But what you will not be told is how horrible and lonely and desperate you become due to the alcohol we consume. Which to me is 100 times worse than the original  problems I was hiding from. Either way, death never entered my mind. Not this soon. Both my great grandDad and grandfather died between 95 & 97, so I already got short-changed.

Don't use alcohol to help you cope. Because when you discover how much damage you created, it will probably be too late. And forget a transplant, cirrhosis is the black sheep on the criteria for a transplant. Unless you are rich and/or are a celebrity. We are the bottom of the barrel. And you may hear alot "You don't jump thru enough hoops" or my favorite "You fell thru the cracks of the system". It can and will get worse. So don't allow drinking to cloud your judgement.

Oh, I also wanted to say that the damage it does on your mind is scarey. When your body doesn't filter your blood, due to liver/kidney damage, it circulates your toxins in your blood, which may deposit ammonia in your brain. That makes you insane, slowely. So if you want a mind altering brain/life, continue to drink and it will take ccare of it for you.

Not a way to go. Not a way to die. Not a way to anaywhere, except HERE. I don't know you, but I don't want company, not here, it's ugly and horrible.

To all of you reading this. I apoligize for the length of my post. But PLEASE, listen to Dr. Phil. He knows and tells the truth. This may save your life. And Dr. Phil, I hope you can get the word out how quietly and sneaky and deadly drinking is, maybe not to everyone, but if they knew the truth,well, I have always believed that I can't do anything if I don't kinow the truth. And what I have learned is still not the whole truth, medically. Oh, I also forgot to mention that you can't eat anything 'processed', no dairy, no animal protien, very little potasium, no soduim, no alcohol (duh), other than that, you're good. And believe me, tea and donuts has me nourished. I am heavyer because of the treats, I can eat all the sugar I want. But its not good, but its all I can do. I am 5'7" and weigh 136. Which means if I stopped the treats, I'd be around 110.

So I hope this helps understand the reprecussions for alcohol and the effects is sorely leaves us with. God Bless you all. He forgives us. So forgive yourself and ask and recieve help. You are worth it and you deserve a full life. You are the only one who can make this life altering choice. DO IT!

All the best,

Billie6602

(Mom of 2, grandma of 5) XXOO

 
October 8, 2006, 11:51 am CDT

Personal Accountability For All

Quote From: marleen12

Unless we put these drunks away for a long time they will just keep on doing what they've been doing. Drunks who kill people when they drink and drive should be subjected to the same jail times and those who use a gun to kill someone.
You are so right, but in our permissive society I don't see it happening.  For many years we have been told drunks are "sick" and  "can't help their behavior".  That is such a bunch of bologna.  A person makes a CHOICE to drink.  And for all you bleeding heart liberals who will send me nasty-grams about how I don't know what I am talking about; and that the drunk can't help it any more than someone can help having cancer or asthma, you all need to get a grip.  You dont choose to get cancer or asthma, but you do make that choice to pick up that drink and continue to drink.  And before you all get on your soapbox, let me tell you a little secret.  I AM A FORMER DRUNK WHO CHOSE TO STOP DRINKING.  I do know what I am talking about, I have been there.  I am not bashing AA because I believe whatever it takes to get you to stop drinking is great, but the most ignorant thing I have ever heard is the phrase "I am powerless over alchohol".  How can you be powerless over a non living object?  I can be powerless over a man with a weapon, or a large animal attacking, but a fermented beverage has NO power over anyone.  I have been sober many years now because I have made that choice.  I can do all things through Christ who stregnthens me.
 
October 8, 2006, 1:54 pm CDT

I AGREE

Quote From: princess1

You are so right, but in our permissive society I don't see it happening.  For many years we have been told drunks are "sick" and  "can't help their behavior".  That is such a bunch of bologna.  A person makes a CHOICE to drink.  And for all you bleeding heart liberals who will send me nasty-grams about how I don't know what I am talking about; and that the drunk can't help it any more than someone can help having cancer or asthma, you all need to get a grip.  You dont choose to get cancer or asthma, but you do make that choice to pick up that drink and continue to drink.  And before you all get on your soapbox, let me tell you a little secret.  I AM A FORMER DRUNK WHO CHOSE TO STOP DRINKING.  I do know what I am talking about, I have been there.  I am not bashing AA because I believe whatever it takes to get you to stop drinking is great, but the most ignorant thing I have ever heard is the phrase "I am powerless over alchohol".  How can you be powerless over a non living object?  I can be powerless over a man with a weapon, or a large animal attacking, but a fermented beverage has NO power over anyone.  I have been sober many years now because I have made that choice.  I can do all things through Christ who stregnthens me.

You are so 100% correct. However I think the real problem is knowledge. I am not a AA fan, matter of fact I was deferred being on the transplant list because I didn't attend (they didn't count all my hours with an AA sponsored attendance). So, I respect what works for others. I KNOW I am still alive because I have a very strong and clear faith in God. That was my awareness wake up call. If we TALK about what it does to your body, truthfully and simple. And I am not too convinced that the researchers are updating their numbers that don't represent our bodies of today. Our diet is a deadly combination with alcohol. But no one talks about that. They are going down the wrong road. But when you said its a choice. It is that simple. God makes everything simple, we just screw it up. I posted earlier, and basically I said I wanted people to know that immediate death IS the best synario, I am proof of what will happen known to me as a slow death, without a net. Now that's a rush!. I do believe that if God takes you to it He will get you through it. He only asks that you believe, and He will forgive. That's enough comfort for this gal.

Best wishes to you on you continued sucess and God Bless,

Billie6602

 
October 8, 2006, 2:50 pm CDT

Drunk Drivers Don't Care Until They are Caught

In 1984 I was calling my parents to let them know we were back across "the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) after my husband finished a 4 year assignment in the military in Germany.  My brother got to inform me that my Mom had just been involved in an accident, I told him to let me know because my bags weren't unpacked and I could be there on the next flight.  She was rear ended by a 19 year old drunk driver going 70 mph on a 4 lane highway joy riding. At that time he got 6 months of hard labor and 6 months of probation.  This young man stole the car he was in from the autobody shop he worked at besides drinking underage.  The bar that served him went states evidence and my Dad wanted the young man to go to jail and be held accountable. I hadn't seen my Mom in 4 years and then to lose her forever that way was AWFUL!  I don't know how that young man felt, I really didn't care, he took my Mom's life away from me for what?  He didn't care what he was doing until he had to face the consequences, THEN he was sorry, not for killing her but for getting caught.  Why can't people think about their actions and the consequences BEFORE they take action? I am a military brat and I was brought up with the standard that you have accountability for your actions.  My father served for 23 years, my husband served in the military for 20 years and our son is now in the military, accountability and consequences is a way of life for many, many people in our world. When people make excuses for their actions it is pathetic.  Things are replaceable, people aren't! Our daughter was 3 years old when she last saw her Grandmother, she has very few memories of her. Our children never got to have their Grandmother watch them grow and share precious moments in time.  There is nothing that can be said or done to replace my Mom. I told my Dad that hopefully the young man can live with himself and think about his results!  He made an impression on our children-they NEVER wanted to do what he did to anyone else and became designated drivers for life.
 
October 8, 2006, 6:44 pm CDT

Alcoholic LATE X-husband/ Father of My Daughter's

30+ years of history with my abusive, alcoholic x; just passed away last night--very poignant. Car accident 10 years ago left him totally blind & brain injured; diagnosed with metastatic CA a few months ago. He certainly paid a high price for his mistakes, and no matter what one has done, no one should have to suffer like that in the end.  Wishing anyone--especially the young substance abusers--could listen and learn from real life sad stories such as ours.  It does catch up with you when you live vicariously!!!
 
October 8, 2006, 7:01 pm CDT

help

Quote From: andreaknott

In 1984 I was calling my parents to let them know we were back across "the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) after my husband finished a 4 year assignment in the military in Germany.  My brother got to inform me that my Mom had just been involved in an accident, I told him to let me know because my bags weren't unpacked and I could be there on the next flight.  She was rear ended by a 19 year old drunk driver going 70 mph on a 4 lane highway joy riding. At that time he got 6 months of hard labor and 6 months of probation.  This young man stole the car he was in from the autobody shop he worked at besides drinking underage.  The bar that served him went states evidence and my Dad wanted the young man to go to jail and be held accountable. I hadn't seen my Mom in 4 years and then to lose her forever that way was AWFUL!  I don't know how that young man felt, I really didn't care, he took my Mom's life away from me for what?  He didn't care what he was doing until he had to face the consequences, THEN he was sorry, not for killing her but for getting caught.  Why can't people think about their actions and the consequences BEFORE they take action? I am a military brat and I was brought up with the standard that you have accountability for your actions.  My father served for 23 years, my husband served in the military for 20 years and our son is now in the military, accountability and consequences is a way of life for many, many people in our world. When people make excuses for their actions it is pathetic.  Things are replaceable, people aren't! Our daughter was 3 years old when she last saw her Grandmother, she has very few memories of her. Our children never got to have their Grandmother watch them grow and share precious moments in time.  There is nothing that can be said or done to replace my Mom. I told my Dad that hopefully the young man can live with himself and think about his results!  He made an impression on our children-they NEVER wanted to do what he did to anyone else and became designated drivers for life.
My son is 35 years old, has been in treatment four different times.  The first time was 8 years ago and the ;ast time was 4 weeks ago.  He calls myself and 2 of his sisters when he is drunk.  He will also call when he is sober, but when he is drunk, he seems to want our help , sometimes he is just holding the phone and no-one is talking and when we say we are going to hang-up, he starts pleading please do not hang up, please please don't hang up.  Well, My mother heart just about breaks, I have felt that i was his life-line a couple times.   I have gotten help and now attend a support group.  But, i am frustrated because I want to support my son, i do tell him i love him and he knows that, but i also know it hurts him when he feels rejected by his family when he cannot stop drinking!!!  He says he will not quit trying to stop, but never-the-less, he goes right back to drinking, vodkaand mt.dew.  He has not worked for the past 4 weeks.  He says he will not go to treatment anymore because that does not work.  Yesterday, he called me and said he was going to call his sponsor, he had been drinking heavily and he had ran out of booze.  Today, he called and i asked him if he talked with that guy and he said no.  Our conversation was very short, I could not tell if he was drunk or trying to stay sober, and now i feel guilty, so how do i know when and what to say to him?
 
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