Topic : Love Being Single

ooops  Christian man into my life!!!!

Im single =]  Lovin it too ! <3

i'm 16 aswell :D i live in belgium and all my friends think it is really important to have a boyfriend. In belgium there is a real problem you know, there are so many girls that feel so bad about themselves because they keep comparising themselves with other girls and celebs. I think that is a big problem over the entire world.

 

i dont need a guy to make me feel good about myself and when that guy comes by then i wont hesitate but for now, i'm really loving the single life :D:D

I am 26 years old, and I have never kissed a boy on the lips, and I doubt I ever will. I have Asperger's ( a form of autism) , OCD, depression,  and Attention Deficit Disorder. When I was 23 or 24 I asked my mother if it was weird that I had never kissed a boy on the lips. She told me that it would be strange if I was normal, but I was not normal so the rules of other people don't apply to me, and she told me never to tell that to anyone since it was none of their business. I ended up using that for every problem I've ever had: why I have no social life, why I've never had a real job despite the fact that I'm an english major, why I'm afraid to drive a car, why I have no friends my own age, and why my 6 year old neice and five year old nephew can't believe that I actually a grown up even though I play more video games than people half my age. I've talked to my parents about it and we've all agreed that being a virgin the rest of my life and eventually moving into a retirment home with them in ten or fifteen years is the best option. A voice inside me, however, is screaming at me not to throw my life away. And despite the fact that I'm too immature for a relationship, my hormones are normal and I find myself burning with lust for the handsome, male video game characters with their perfect bodies and chisled abs (there are no real or non-fictional men for me to lust after). I suspect my hormones will stop when I get older, but what do I do until then?

Wow! You absolutely have the capacity to have a healthy relationship and in no way should settle for a loveless romantic life. No matter how impossible others may have stereotyped you into a category where they feel you are unable to handle the emotions involved or just need to be sheltered or cared for by others. This attitude; however, does not promote self-sufficiency. On some level caring for someone in an intimate capacity (vowed the person is genuine and not only after sex in a manipulative way) is definitely a step towards some independence. It sounds to me that you are not giving yourself enough credit - I mean, look at your message -you are quite intelligent and articulate yourself in such a way it is impressive though it sounds like you may have settled for less. I suggest either gaining additional support systems to help you encourage your good points and to minimize the negative, practice making yourself a priority. You are young, there is no reason to believe some day you cannot become a productive citizen and even a spouse. There is someone for everyone! Hang in there and don't let others dictate your life or put you into a category where your quality of life is lessened. Everyone has problems on some level, don't let it define who you are. What's underneath it all is your most powerful force and your improved will lead to endless success if you can only believe in yourself! I know, I've been there ! !

 

 

 

good luck! Wanda

This is to no particular person on the board but the title was to "love being single." It appears to me MANY on this bulletin board are DESPERATE not to be single or feel they need attention from a certain man!

 

Give me a break. Here's some pluses to ponder when considering the positives of being single:

 

1) no dirty laundry

 

2) no worrying about being gone too long, who you've talked to, or how he feels about your "guy friends."

 

3) no arguments, catch up with old friends, do things YOU want to do...no compromising!!

 

4) go out on the town or lay around in bed. It's YOUR choice the significant other is out the door !

 

5) taking a step back to reorganize priorities. where you're headed; where you've been; who you want and who you DON't want !

 

6) working on yourself via getting in better physical shape, taking a self-help class, or just lounging around enjoying life and being happy it's no longer shared with someone you were not meant to be with!

 

7) socialize when and if you decide to. You are your own boss !

 

8) more time to spend with relatives and children and to devote to yourself.

 

9) don't have to play the guessing game about the new person you've met online or in a bar then find out six months later it was all distorted or worse!

 

10) working on yourself, becoming more assertive and mentally prepared for your future relationship and vowing not to make the same mistakes as in the past.

Wow! When I was in elementary school my mom would consult shrinks about my condition, and I know of at least one of them who told my mother that I would never be able to do anything when I got older. I assume it never left her head, and even though she didn't tell me about my session until I was older, it affected me too. If people keep telling you things then you'll eventually believe it whether its true or not. I spent the first thirteen years of my life wishing that I would never grow up, and I spent the second thirteen years trying to figure out why I never did. The transition from child to grown woman stopped for me quite a while ago, and I haven't a clue how to start it back up again. Changing a lifestyle can be difficult to impossible, especially if you're not 100 percent certain if its the right move.   

I noticed the same thing about this board. I had enjoyed some of the message boards when I first discovered them but sometimes the same person will dominate every post or go off in a totally different direction.  I'd like to add a few things to your positive list:

 

1. Never having to put the seat down

2. Buying that totally awesome pair of shoes just because you want to

3. Listening to your own inner voice instead of talking to an SO who doesn't hear you

4. The satisfaction of completing projects you never thought you could do around the house

5. Painting any room whatever color you want

and my favorite one is the PEACE at the end of the day. 

 

I'm happy to be single and alone for the last four years. I never get tired of the quiet peace and satisfaction I feel at the end of every day. 

Being single is great...it gives you TIME to reflect on yourself, life, past relationships, it gives you a clear mind, less pressure. It's your chance to think about what you really want, and be who you really are..