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Topic : 06/05 Big Spenders and Cheapskates

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Created on : Thursday, October 12, 2006, 06:05:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/20/06) Do you spend money frivolously, or do you hold on to every cent? Katie says when she and her husband, Joe, were dating, he wined and dined her, but when they got married, he became so cheap that she had to buy her own wedding ring, and he refused to take her on a honeymoon. When Katie lost over 40 pounds and wanted to buy clothes that fit, she says Joe told her to just gain the weight back. Joe says he has to control all of Katie's spending, or they would end up in the poorhouse. Is Joe really the penny-pincher Katie says he is, or is Katie's spending the real problem? Next, Ericka says her friend, Carlena, has "caviar taste with a tuna fish budget," and that if she doesn't learn to control her shopaholic ways, she'll end up on the street. Carlena says she deserves everything she buys -- designer clothes, over 100 pairs of shoes, and the TV in her car -- even if she can't afford them. Carlena's spending has gotten so bad, she had to move back home with her mother, Leonetta. Leonetta joins the show via satellite with all of Carlena's possessions on her lawn. Don’t miss her shocking ultimatum to her daughter and share your thoughts here!

Find out what happened on the show.

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noraann
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chillin'
October 20, 2006, 4:53 am PDT

Look inside!

Quote From: cas_au

Hi everyone out there, not sure how or even if this will work but hay why not give it a go... ok so i am 22 years old and i have had a pretty hard couple of years, my parents were very happy together and then literally over night my family was torn apart and my mother has moved to America and gotten married to someone there and my father has moved to the other side of the country, i am about to graduate from University and should be getting ready to start the rest of my life instead i am dreading the new year because i dont know what will happen, i cant seem to think of one positive thing about myself every time i look in the mirror i only see negative things, and i am to affraid to get into any kind of a relationship because i cant imagine relying on anyone...how do i change this? any suggestions anyone out there

You are22 yrs old. You are graduating. You were strong enough to get your education. What your parents do with their life is their concern. Yes you love them, yes they are your parents. BUT, you are not responsible for their happenings. They are. You can still love them and be there, but they have their choices to make. Be supportive of both. This is about them, not you. Get off the pity pot and start looking inside of your self. There are great things there......if you don't waste your time in not looking.

PS.

I think you may be posting this on the wrong board. This one is for cheapskates and big spenders.
 
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animalcat
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October 20, 2006, 6:55 am PDT

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Quote From: cas_au

Hi everyone out there, not sure how or even if this will work but hay why not give it a go... ok so i am 22 years old and i have had a pretty hard couple of years, my parents were very happy together and then literally over night my family was torn apart and my mother has moved to America and gotten married to someone there and my father has moved to the other side of the country, i am about to graduate from University and should be getting ready to start the rest of my life instead i am dreading the new year because i dont know what will happen, i cant seem to think of one positive thing about myself every time i look in the mirror i only see negative things, and i am to affraid to get into any kind of a relationship because i cant imagine relying on anyone...how do i change this? any suggestions anyone out there
From what I have read, you have been through some tough trials. You seem to have something great going for yourself. Graduating from a university is awesome and a positive thing to look forward to, and starting the rest of you life is another positive thing to look forward to. You being concerned about not knowing what will happen or take place is normal, I know the feeling too. What are you passionate about? what is something you would enjoy doing for a career or even a hobby on the side? I think because of what your parents went through, you are not real sure about a relationship because you are afraid the same thing might happen to you. Well, you cannot predict what will happen in a relationship. You just take it one step at a time and one day at a time. Do not rush things. No need to. Just be yourself, enjoy life and stick with your support group of friends and they can be of help as well.
 
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animalcat
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giddy
October 20, 2006, 7:04 am PDT

cheapskaters and big spenders.

ok, here is what I think. I think this couple, needs to sit down and talk about everything. They need to put the cards out on the table, yes even the jokers. This man needs to not be spending on himself, but using money wisely for the right things, food, bills, medicine, medical and dental and health visits, not a motorcycle, thats a want, not something he needs. They also need to consult one another on what they will be purchasing before going and doing the spending. I would never go out and buy something without talking to my husband about it first. You need to know needs, versus wants and has to have right away. The young lady who likes to spend, yes dear, almost all girls like to do that, however, you need to come to a realization that money does not grow on trees, and you need to work to pay off debts and get that done first and for most, otherwise you will be in even more debt along the way. You need to be careful about spending and the credit cards. In my opinion, you should get everything paid off, close the accounts, and cut those credit cards up!
 
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animalcat
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ecstatic
October 20, 2006, 7:08 am PDT

quote

Quote From: noraann

You are22 yrs old. You are graduating. You were strong enough to get your education. What your parents do with their life is their concern. Yes you love them, yes they are your parents. BUT, you are not responsible for their happenings. They are. You can still love them and be there, but they have their choices to make. Be supportive of both. This is about them, not you. Get off the pity pot and start looking inside of your self. There are great things there......if you don't waste your time in not looking.

PS.

I think you may be posting this on the wrong board. This one is for cheapskates and big spenders.

I think that this person maybe has some other issues that went on in the home and that maybe relate to the topic of cheapskates and big spenders. Noone knows this person's life story. If they wish to post something on this one, even if it does not go along with the topic, it should be ok.
 
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allinall
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quiet
October 20, 2006, 7:09 am PDT

Bipolar?

Quote From: lovestosew

Could some of the over spending be a sign of bi-polar? 

There is a new show that a man comes out and puts people on a budget and helps people set goals, could it be a lack of knowledge ?? or is it  just one being a  spoiled brat? Some times we create a dependent situation and them get up set when we want to stop.

 I don't know about the bipolar. I do think that most times it's like Carlina with most people though to different degrees. I think most of the spending problems come from a belief in personal entitlement...I'm in this world just like everyone else and I have just as much right to "it" as anyone else, without the belief in personal responsibility. To many have no clue that they jeopardize their own future well-being by thinking they have every right to "it" now any way they can get it. Money will always come in somehow, right. Wrong!

And yes on creating the dependent situation(s). Also though, there are those who belief they have the right to be dependent. The right to have someone else take care of the needs they have that they can not, or should not have to, supply for themselves. Some just never get past that part of their lives when a "parent" took care of everything important for them, and the fun stuff was/is their only responsibility.
 
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saemae
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frustrated
October 20, 2006, 7:58 am PDT

All that stuff?!?

And all they could put on the eBay site was 40 items?  I sure hope that stupid TV made its way back to the Rent-A-Center.  I don't see any signs of "progress" if Carlena is only required to sell less than a tenth of her stuff.  Makes no sense to me.  A clean sweep was the best thing for such a spoiled child like her.  Deprivation would put her on the right course, believe me.
 
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prd2bmom

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October 20, 2006, 8:01 am PDT

That is my husband!!

Oh My God...He is my husband!!! I loved this show. I think the husband will change after seeing how it was effecting his wife. The difference between him and my husband is that mine won't change. When Dr Phil asked why she put up with it and she answered I have no where to go. That is me!! Then Dr Phil said sit him down and talk...I have tried that- it didn't work. I have even left him once. We have no family here, my family is 6 1/2 hrs away, his is 3 1/2 hrs. It all came out last night. He took the credit cards away because I bought the kids dinner!!!! I had already told him I was going so he knew. He was upset because I forgot that he doesn't like mushrooms so he wouldn't eat the pizza. Oh my god..pick it off and eat it!!

UGH sorry to vent, I just wanted to let her know that she isn't alone.   
 
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tylerandtony
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blank
October 20, 2006, 8:12 am PDT

10/20 Cheapskates and Big Spenders

You know, Carlena got herself into this mess, and yes, this is all stealing as far as I am concerned.  You "buy" on credit and then don't pay????  What is she doing?  Collecting unemployment checks and then just blows it on clothing that personally I think are horrific!  A smoocher, that's all she is.  I am glad that some of the clothing are for sale, but she needs to get herself out of debt, pay her mom, and stop acting like a 5yr old with childish ways.  Maybe she needs to get herself a sugar daddy so he can pay for all the expensive things she wants.

I work, my husband works, and there is a limited on what a family "wants".  Our children are well dressed and we always have food on the table.  Wait till she gets older and then regrets how her spending habbits will get her into trouble.  Try buying a house with that large of a debt behind you!!  She is so wrong about the 7yr past debt.  She is in for a rude awaking!!  Two large TV's are ridiculous, especially for one person. 

Carlena has a problem, and probably with her self esteem, because it is obvious that she is only happy when she buys something. She needs help.
 
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jenjayjor
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October 20, 2006, 8:48 am PDT

Helping her out - Not fair

Carlena should be forced to figure out how to get out of her mess.  Dr. Phil you are being way too generous..   She dug herself in this debt mess, she should get her but to work, 2 maybe 3 jobs, and learn to BUDGET and live within her means.   What about financial counseling !?   I would't pay a penny to help her out.... She'll get back into debt,,, it's her way of life,  she get's a high from it.   Carlena - you don't deserve it.   you haven't worked for it!

 
 
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saesq2
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October 20, 2006, 9:40 am PDT

could something else be wrong?

Quote From: lovestosew

Could some of the over spending be a sign of bi-polar? 

There is a new show that a man comes out and puts people on a budget and helps people set goals, could it be a lack of knowledge ?? or is it  just one being a  spoiled brat? Some times we create a dependent situation and them get up set when we want to stop.

Her spending & justifications are so over the top that I'm wondering if she has a compulsive disorder.  shouldn't she be evaluated by a psychiatrist (MD) just to rule out anything besides supreme selfishness, arrogance & lack of judgment?
 
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