Topic : Ready for Marriage?

I been with boyfriend 12 years feb 11,2007

I known i am ready to married .

hi my I'm 32 and I got engaged about 2 months ago. I was married to someone who was very abusive, and controlling for 5 years, and its been 5 years since I got divoced. Last year I was stalked and raped buy someone, and got post tramatic stress disorder. I met a man who was very sweet we talked for hours, and we shared all the same interests. Hed been married to someone 12 years ago who had been raped and she cheated on him got pregnant, and when his daughter was 2 she took off with her and he hasnt seen her since. He seemed very supportive about what happened but since I've started councelling and let him hear what happened our relationship is getting allot worse. Everytime I see him he yells at me for the first day, and when I ask him whats wrong he says nothing, he seems not even to realise hes doing it. On friday I was eating dinner, and he said you must b really hungry your really eating that well, and I said I was full and sat on the couch he followed me there, and when I didnt realise he wanted to hold my hand he jumped up and yelled your a phyco at the top of his lungs. I stayed calm and said I was tired and went to lie down he came in later and dragged out everything I said in councelling and said I was a phyco, and that he was going to councelling now, and that he was going to write down everything I say, and he was going to tell his councellor....

I said good he needed to talk to one, and went to sleep..

He was pretty agro all day the next day, since hed said it in front of my 9 year old daugther I'd decided it was over. I wanted to take her to see santa like we promised so we went, I didnt talk to him, and when we got there he tried to pic a fight so we left, and he asked for his ring bac in the car... He after a half an hour cooled down and said he was sorry, he loved me and didnt want to loose me...

Is there any hope here or is it as I fear I cant marry him??

 

Hey there. I was hoping for some good advise here. My boyfriend and I have been living together for about two years now and we recently got engaged in Oct. Now I have to give you a little background before we go any further. We used to date about 10 years ago for about 6 months and whatever happened we went our seperate ways. I got married had a child and am recently divorced. My boyfriend came looking for me that he heard that I got divorcrd and was still in love with me after all these years and always loved me. Well, let's just say that he melted my heart and we got back together. Meanwhile little did I know but he was living with someone else. To make a long story short, he left her to be with me. Let's just say that she never got over it. she tried everything you can think of to try and break us up for the past two years. I think she finally got the picture when she heard that we got engaged. Thank god. So basically what I am saying that our relationship didn't get started on a very honest note. I mean he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. Now, somewhere in the back of my mind I am very insecure that he will do it to me. Now, out of the blue he decided to call a different girlfriend and have been talking for a couple of days now behind my back. The only reason I knew is because he asked me to check his messages on his phone and there it was a message from her. He told me who she was and there was nothing going on. I believed him but he told me that they always remained good friends just lost touch through the years. If that was the case why not tell me about her, right? Well, let's just say there was another message from her and now she was asking him to come over to hang out. I freaked out. I did the unthinkable. I called her. She reassured me that there was nothing going on between them but now she is mad at him for never mentioning me. To this point he is still mad at me and just does not understand that conversing with a ex-girlfriend behind my back is wrong. Now remember the first story. I, the crazy PMSing woman that I am , of course thinks the worst. Am I wrong? Please Help

 

Desperate in New Jersey

hi everyone,

 

my boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years, he's 25 and i'm 21. we have worked through some very tough situation and we are very much in love with eachother and i think we have a healthy, stable relationship. he recently joined the military, and since he's been away he's been seriously talking about getting married. we've always talked about getting married someday, which i know we both definetly want to marry eachother. part of the reason i think he wants to marry soon is so that i'll be able to travel with him during his time in the military, but i DONT want to get married just to make traveling with him easier, and i know he doesnt either, but logically it is a million times easy to be married, since the military provides housing and everything.

 

but heres my biggest fear, i am completely freaked out about getting a divorce. my parents are divorced AND his parents are divorced and i know the rate of divorce when BOTH spouses parents divorced is insanely high. It feels like thats the only way it would end up, in divorce. I'm also freaked because his dad is a wonderful, wonderful man but he wasnt the best family man, so his mom tells me, and im afraid my man will end up being like that someday. i really dont see it happening, but its still in my mind.

 

maybe i'm getting too far ahead of myself and i know that im not ready to get married yet, but im so scared of getting divorced. i want to spend my life with this man and have a family, but i dont want to ever be divorced. anyone have any advice???? a friend told me that i shouldnt let fears like that stop me from getting married, and i agree. but so many people get divorced now-a-days i feel like its a loose/loose situation.

 

any advice is greatly appriciated :)

thanks for the reply!

 

i WISH that the army provided housing for engagements. but i still plan to move with him wherever he is based, so i guess there isnt a reason to rush. BUT, on the flip side i think.... if i know i want to marry him then why wait? but like i said we've been through some very tough situations together and have worked through them amazingly, so that gives me hope that we can work through anything that comes our way. But, since we have had alot of rough times we were planning on going to pre-marital/couples counceling anyways, just to make sure we are both secure with ourselves and in the right place before we do get married. my mom keeps telling me ill just know when its the right time :) and i believe her. i think im also freaking out a little about this because communication with him right now is really limited, so im kind of alone with my thoughts, rather then being able to discuss it with him.

 

thanks for the reply again, i think a long engagement might be a good idea for us. so we have time to make sure were both in the right place to get married. we'll see what happens i guess :)

 

happy thanksgiving!

I have been with boyfriend 12 years  on Feb 11.

I am ready to get married .

I am 33 and my boyfriend 36 .

I've been with my bf for 2 years now.  We were living together, but after a MAJOR fight I moved out and we're working on our issues with a therapist (there are a lot!!).  We're finally moving in the right direction and I feel like we're almost ready for me to move back in.  We still have one major hurdle to overcome and I'm not sure what to do about it, so here goes. 

 

My bf has a 5 year old daughter and I have a good relationship with her.  I would like to have a child of my own someday, but he is adamant that he wants no more children.  He has many reasons- the financial aspect, the age difference between his daughter and the baby we would have (we're thinking it would happen in about 4 years), the fact that his relationship would change between him and his daughter, etc.  I have my reasons as well.  The biggest being that to me, having a child together is the ultimate bond that would demonstrate our love for each other. 

 

I'm sure we aren't the first couple to encounter this problem.  Does anyone have any advice for me?  Is this something that should keep me from planning a longtime future with someone who is in every other way my soulmate?  Should we end it now and not spend the holidays together?

 

Thanks in advance for any help you all can give!!

  i don't know why I can not meet the right person who doesn't like to play games.I am 40yrs of age and want to be with one person.Its so hard to find your true love. Every time I meet some one all he does is lie. I am almost to the point where I just want to say forget this, maybe its not for me. can any one give me some pointers on how to catch a good man,a man that would love me for me.

I got divorced almost 7 years ago and thought that I'd never find anyone else.  I took 2 years off.  It was very lonely, but in that time, I became my own best friend.  I learned to like myself again.  3 years ago, I met my boyfriend.  I never knew that love could be so wonderful!  We met at the store.  We started talking and he gave me his phone number and told me to use it if I ever felt like talking to someone.  I called him 4 days later (I didn't want to appear too desperate).  We talked on the phone and shared who we were and what each of us wanted out of life and out of a relationship.  We went on our first date two weeks later.  I was asked out before meeting my boyfriend but there was something about them that made me decide not to go on a date. 

 

You didn't mention if you were ever married or not.  I also decided not to date a man who was my typical "type".  I have always fallen for tall, dark and handsome.  My boyfriend is not someone who I would have normally looked at and decided immediately that I wanted to get to know better.  I think he's beautiful, but he's not my "ideal type", he's tall, dirty blond and ruggedly handsome.  Maybe you should try to date a different type of guy.  If you have a hobby or something you are passionate about (like doing charity work), maybe you could join a charitable organization (like habitat for humanity) and find someone there who shares the same morals as you.  And...how bad could a man be who helps others in his spare time? 

 

Please don't give up.  There are good men out there and they are looking for good women. 

Hi,

 

I have been together with my partner for 3,5 yrs. I have always wanted to marry in the future!

 

My partner has never been married and always says he doesn´t like rules and institution ´´ the marriage´. I dreamed of my partner asking me to marry me.....

 

I see now that if I want to marry him, I wil have to be the one that asks him. It´s just that I am afraid that he won´t take it seriously, or that he says NO!

 

Please help me......tips ?