Topic : Sex

Also.....im a total nut case. I think I need to get checked into an asylum or something.  

Can anyone help me pleaseeeeeeeee. 

I have been with by boyfriend 4 plus years, i broke things off because he put everything else before me, weather it was his friends, car, family.  He never wanted to go anywhere anymore just sit at home, except when someone else wanted to do something.  Oh by the way i'm 21 and he is 22.  He went off to college and is living in an apartment with his best friend and 4 other guys.  He wanted to get back with me since we broke up and kept telling me he'll never give up on us,  he finally convinced me to go back to him and give it another try, but suddenly the day he moved into his apartment at college he didn't want to get back together anymore or even see me., but said he will always love me.   I went up to visit a friend and he and I saw each other and we ended up having sex.  I havn't heard from him since.   I can't seem to get over this, is it because I am the one being dumped here or is he just not thinking straight, because he likes to drink.  All I wanted was honesty from him and I don't even get that.  I thought that night we would end up getting back together because I still love him but I am so hurt by what he did to me, I feel like he doesn't have enought respect for me to be honest.  Was I just imagining he was in love with me.  I don't know what to do.  I'm devistated. 

I guess I should start by saying that I am an 18 yr old college student who shouldnt be looking to settle down with a serious relationship but I am. My last boyfriend, 22, was one of the best guys that I have ever dated. He was a complete sweetheart and I am still in love with him. We broke up because with him being older and more experienced with relationships, he wanted sex. Well I am waiting until marriage. I told him from the beginning that I was waiting until marriage because I believe that is the best gift I can ever give my husband. He told me that he could wait until marriage to have sex, he told me that he was willing to do that. However, that was ultimately what broke us up. We never really had arguments about anything except for sex. I realize that it can be addicting but at the same time, I dont see why my love and my company cannot be enough for now. We are talking about getting back together again because we both miss one another and spending time together. I am worried that we will break up again because my beliefs about sex have not changed. Is there anybody out there who can give me some advice? My ex told me that if I could find some kind of 12-step program to make him not crave and want sex so much that he would do it so that we could be together. Someone..plz help me out.  

I started dating one of my best friends in April.  We are both in our thirties and have been divorced.   We became sexually involved a couple months into our relationship.  He is a recovering sex addict.   He was gone for two weeks and when he returned he withdrew which was difficult for me.  He talked about his feelings at the end of the week and asked that we not have any intimacy other than holding hands for 90 days.   

I asked him to provide the reason in writing and this is what he said:  "I want to spend time engaged in relationship with you without sex.  As you know sex is a pretty charged activity and for me it is a very complex thing.  Spending this time allows me to be directly engaged in relationship with you.  Sex can sometimes cloud issues for me and mask or cover up feelings.  This doesn’t mean I am not present or loving or intimate with you but it can allow me to avoid discussing something with you.  I want to be able to be present and in the moment and share what is happening with me. " 

I want to be supportive and loving.  I am very upset by this request.  I enjoy our sex life.  And I can't imagine not even kissing him for 90 days and still being in relationship.   I want to be intimate and I am angry that I have no say in the matter.   I keep thinking that I should tell him to take his "90 days" on his own.  Then we will see if there is anything left to explore between us. 

I love him.  This really hurts and up until just recently our relationship has been incredible in and out of bed.  I just don't know what to do and I don't understand. Do you have any advice?