Home Message Boards

Topic : 03/07 When Too Much is ... Too Much

Number of Replies: 423
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, November 10, 2006, 09:20:25 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/15/06) Imagine discovering that your next-door neighbor owns over 200 cats. Ray and Dennis never thought their neighbor, Kristy, would let her pet collection get that big. Once friends, the three are now in a nasty and vindictive war because of the felines. Ray and Dennis say Kristy's property is one big, disgusting litter box, and they want Kristy to get rid of her cats. Kristy says she'll never part with her "cat sanctuary." Are Ray and Dennis playing dirty in order to run Kristy out of town? When is it too much, and where do you draw the line in the litter box? Then, Mike says his wife, Lori, keeps everything from used envelopes to empty food jars and medicine bottles, because she "might need it" in the future. He is ready to take desperate measures to put a stop to this. Lori says the thought of throwing her stuff out is her worst nightmare. Is Mike guilty of making nasty bribes to get his wife to change? What's really behind Lori's habit for hoarding? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

More March 2007 Show Boards.
As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

 
wendydarlingtx
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
chillin'
November 15, 2006, 2:00 pm PST

The hoarder's cute...cat lady--not so much

 The second guest with the general hoarding problem was funny. It's nice to have lighter moments on the Dr. Phil show every now and then, where the audience laughs goodnaturedly . I noticed how she and her husband do seem to genuinely love each other, so I'm glad for them about that. But I can sympathize with him and their son. My mother's a hoarder, though not to the degree that the Dr. Phil guest is.

Especially when it came to my late brother's stuff. My brother died when he was 17 of lung cancer--and no, he did not smoke. The cancer was congenital. But she was very anxious when she thought that I was throwing his things out. Growing up, I was ALWAYS cleaning the house. I love my mother to pieces, but I am so glad I am out from under her roof! When I visited  her the last time, she and my stepdad were idly chatting about the possibility of hiring a housekeeper, and my mother said, "But I don't want anyone to touch my stuff!" Huh? What's with the anxiety over stuff? Why do people with this hoarding syndrome attach so much signficance to things???

The cat lady, though...oy, I'm not even going to touch that subject. It seems like plenty of other people weighed in on her.
 
Read Replies to this Message
maxswiggy
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
November 15, 2006, 2:01 pm PST

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder/Hoarding

I can relate to the husband who wants to divorce his wife because of the mess in their home.  My father has been diagnosed with OCD and hoards everything!  He is 80 years old and my mother is in her 70's and she is to the point that in her last years she wanted everything he had gone!  So over a two month period we went through his things and recycled 5 pickup loads of stuff, called 1800GOTJUNK and had 2.5 truck loads equalling 9TONS of stuff hauled away and 1 ton of iron to the iron mill and 5 pickup loads hauled away by the family too!  It was exhausting on many levels.  It was very difficult for my father and we still haven't gotten all of HIS stuff removed yet!

 

He won't get help and is watching the program right now and wants my Mom to watch it to understand what he is all about and accept it.

 

He, of course, doesn't want help because he thinks we are all wrong!

 
 
Read Replies to this Message
jennyda
User Mood
Nervous

Message Emote
chillin'
November 15, 2006, 2:02 pm PST

I love cats...but...

I wrote the Dr. Phil staff a letter about 2 weeks ago, when this episode first started being advertised on TV. I was very concerned about what Dr. Phil was going to say to the Cat Lady. Eventhough, I have now watched the segment, and I agree that the Cat Lady has way too many cats, I believe that Dr. Phil was wrong in not telling the 2 guys that if they are trying to get rid of the cats illegally, or poison them, it is illegal, and they can get into major trouble. I have experienced this sort of thing with my neighbor. He moved in next door to us in July. At the time I actually owned 2 cats, but was feeding several strays (everyone in the nieghborhood was), and when the guy and his wife moved in next door, he asked about all the cats. We explained that most of them were in fact strays, and that we had thought about trapping and ridding the neighborhood of them, by hauling them to the nearest animal shelter or Vet.  The neighbor offered his assistance, and I thought we had agreed on a date and who was going to do what. Well, when my husband and I got ready ( we bought canned food, and cleaned out our cat carrier), we found out that the neighbor had started ahead of time trapping the cats. I expressed some concern, but made sure to point out the 2 cats I spayed/neutered, and owned. Sunny and Pookie were very happy, and had always been allowed outside. The previous neighbors also had cats, and had no problem with our 2 going over to their house. Anyway, the neighbor began coming over and accusing my cats of pooping in his yard, getting on his vehicles, and just being annoying. He threatened to catch all the cats, no matter who they belonged to. I told him that wasn't the agreement, but he didn't seem to care. I was under the understanding that if the cat looked like a stray, he would trap it. So, I bought my 2 cats collars, and ordered tags. I went over and told the neighbor, and he said that he could catch the cats with or without collars. He did in fact catch Pookie, but released her to our custody. Mind you, there was no animal control officer involved up to this point. The neighbor, I found out, was trapping and dumping the animals 10 miles out of town. He claimed that the city inspector had told him he could do this, and had even suggested he kill the cats before dumping them.  I called the city, and veriffied all of this with them, and asked why the guy was issued a trap when an animal control officer is not in our city. They shortly there after came and got the trap, but then the neighbor just bought one. Well, to make one long, long story short, the neighbor caught my cat Sunny, and took him 10 miles out of town, and killed him. I called the police, and did talk to the animal control officer (when the city hired one), and now Pookie stays inside, and the neighborhood is catless. I feel that this guy hid behind the law, and continues to do so. He even has caught several more cats, using canned cat food to attract them, and harrasses the animal control officer by calling her 10-20 times each time he catches a cat. She in turn is trying to be sure that she sets the traps and comes and gets any trapped cats ASAP (this is the legal way here in Texas). So, I guess my point is, eventhough my cats were breaking the city ordinance on domestic pets, it was illegal for my neighbor to try and kill the cats on his own.
 
Read Replies to this Message
nasale
User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote
surprised
November 15, 2006, 2:07 pm PST

I'm sure she must be a very good person, but....

I'm afraid that the cay lady needs help. Her motives are kind, but that many cats can't be healthy. I have three cats and some days its way more work than I need.To be fair, thats because of health problems in my case, but even still it would be a full day&night job just to take care of them all properly. I think she could use a LOT of help.Sheesh!
 
Read Replies to this Message
catnip72
User Mood
Sad

Message Emote
angry
November 15, 2006, 2:08 pm PST

way too many.

I think that is too many cats. There is no way that number of cats can be receiving proper care. I work in the veterinary field and know how much it costs to properly care for them. It isn't fair to the cats or the neighbours. They should be adopted out to the homes where they can be cared for properly. Animals are expensive to care for properly. So even with good intentions caring for that many cats is not right and can't be done. I find just two cats is alot to care for with costs of vet bills, special diets, litter and toys. So i think the only solution is to get rid of the cats.

 
Read Replies to this Message
wonders
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
November 15, 2006, 2:09 pm PST

cats ARE NOT people

Quote From: wickiepoo

I think, in a perfect world, there is no such thing as too many cats...or dogs...or other animals that are cute and fuzzy. I remember a time when I came home from college we had 4 cats, 6 dogs, a persian guinea pig, a welsh pony staked out in our front yard, two ducks, a number of acquarium tanks from school (my dad was the science teacher), a cormrant took up residence by the pool and a blue parakeet flew in from nowhere...and we lived about 200 yards from the town bowling alley. On the other hand, the pony found a home on a horse farm down the road, one of the ducks went to live at Homossassa Springs, the parakeet died, the cormrant decided it didn't like chlorinated water and cooked fish so it left, and the acquariums went back to school once the holidays were over.

 

I love animals with a passion and I understand that lady deeply. I have two cats at present, having just found homes for three strays this summer. I tend to take in every stray that shows up  and find a home for it. Mom used to say we ran a halfway house for strays. I understand the need to take care of them and the heart break at the very idea of letting them fend for themselves in cold or bad weather, go hungry or unloved and it breaks my heart to see this lady do this. While I do, as stated, understand how she feels, she needs to see that unless she can afford to hire people to help with feeding, watering, grooming, vaccinating, spaying, neutering, etc., she is doing these babies a grave injustice. Contrary to popular belief, cats are not as independent as you might think. They need love and attention and they need brushing on a regular basis, especially the long-haired ones, because of the fur balls.  She needs to either move the cats to another, legal area and hire people to properly take care of them, or find homes for most of them, though I wouldn't limit her to four if she can handle them decently.

 

On the other hand, if her neighbors are calling Animal Control behind her back or feeding them antifreeze to poison them, then her neighbors ought to be made to drink the stuff and see how it makes them feel. I may agree that she has too many cats and too little assistance to take care of them, but I do not hold with any kind of animal cruelty at all. You think it's okay to poison animals just because you don't like them? You drink the poison. Do you beat your pets? Let somebody beat you and see how you like it. See how you would like being tossed out a car window or left out in 30 degree weather in the rain.

 

So while I agree that the lady needs to get some help with her cats, I also strongly say that her neighbors better leave them alone and not hurt them. For one thing, this lady obviously feels that nobody can take better care of them than she can or love them more.  I understand that feeling because I feel the same way and lose sleep over any I see that I think need loving.;

If you love animals as you profess so much then you should learn that pets are NOT PEOPLE, they are not YOUR BABIES!!!   You are not making them happy or doing the right thing by them when you treat them as little humans.   If you insist on thinking all animals can be your pets and that your pets are people I might recommend not ordering a steak anywhere lol!

 
 
Read Replies to this Message
sjill0101
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
November 15, 2006, 2:18 pm PST

My sister's cats

My sister lives in Florida, perhaps near that lady. She owned several cats that were free to roam the neighborhood but have since disappeared because some "cat lady" stole them. She decided that they were abandoned but they were not. My sister has been heartbroken at the loss of her cats. One of which she owned for years and was her very close, dear pet.

 

So, just because someone's cats are not tagged does not mean they are abandoned. Meanwhile, Tigger and Sascha and one other I cannot recall his name are missed horribly and loved. They were spayed and neutered and cared for!

 

Send them home!
 
Read Replies to this Message
wendydarlingtx
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
November 15, 2006, 2:18 pm PST

Who says her neighbors are beating them?

Quote From: wickiepoo

I think, in a perfect world, there is no such thing as too many cats...or dogs...or other animals that are cute and fuzzy. I remember a time when I came home from college we had 4 cats, 6 dogs, a persian guinea pig, a welsh pony staked out in our front yard, two ducks, a number of acquarium tanks from school (my dad was the science teacher), a cormrant took up residence by the pool and a blue parakeet flew in from nowhere...and we lived about 200 yards from the town bowling alley. On the other hand, the pony found a home on a horse farm down the road, one of the ducks went to live at Homossassa Springs, the parakeet died, the cormrant decided it didn't like chlorinated water and cooked fish so it left, and the acquariums went back to school once the holidays were over.

 

I love animals with a passion and I understand that lady deeply. I have two cats at present, having just found homes for three strays this summer. I tend to take in every stray that shows up  and find a home for it. Mom used to say we ran a halfway house for strays. I understand the need to take care of them and the heart break at the very idea of letting them fend for themselves in cold or bad weather, go hungry or unloved and it breaks my heart to see this lady do this. While I do, as stated, understand how she feels, she needs to see that unless she can afford to hire people to help with feeding, watering, grooming, vaccinating, spaying, neutering, etc., she is doing these babies a grave injustice. Contrary to popular belief, cats are not as independent as you might think. They need love and attention and they need brushing on a regular basis, especially the long-haired ones, because of the fur balls.  She needs to either move the cats to another, legal area and hire people to properly take care of them, or find homes for most of them, though I wouldn't limit her to four if she can handle them decently.

 

On the other hand, if her neighbors are calling Animal Control behind her back or feeding them antifreeze to poison them, then her neighbors ought to be made to drink the stuff and see how it makes them feel. I may agree that she has too many cats and too little assistance to take care of them, but I do not hold with any kind of animal cruelty at all. You think it's okay to poison animals just because you don't like them? You drink the poison. Do you beat your pets? Let somebody beat you and see how you like it. See how you would like being tossed out a car window or left out in 30 degree weather in the rain.

 

So while I agree that the lady needs to get some help with her cats, I also strongly say that her neighbors better leave them alone and not hurt them. For one thing, this lady obviously feels that nobody can take better care of them than she can or love them more.  I understand that feeling because I feel the same way and lose sleep over any I see that I think need loving.;

At no point in the segment featuring the cat lady and her neighbors did I hear any allegation that the cats were being beatn, or tossed out the window,or left in the rain. Are you projecting something from your own experience or from another news story onto this particular one?

It's quite selfish and downright abhorrent  of this woman to dispense with consideration over others and do whatever she pleases. Are you not a believer of needing to balance the individual's wants and needs with the larger group? Her neighbors have every right to be unhappy if her cats are defecating and urinating in their yards. And I'm sure you're well aware that cats will do what they will.

Cats are lovely, adorable creatues, but that gives nobody the right to create filthy living conditions for the people living in the shared area. Please don't make this issue about animal cruelty and the worthiness of cats and animals in general--the problem is that the lady is downright SELFISH.
 
Read Replies to this Message
bobbieszoo
User Mood
Bored

Message Emote
sad
November 15, 2006, 2:21 pm PST

She's a bit crazy, but leave her alone
 
Read Replies to this Message
gymfriend

Message Emote
blank
November 15, 2006, 2:23 pm PST

Hoarding to death

In June, my mother died.  She was a hoarder and lived with me for 21 years.  Her hoarding caused a great deal of difficulty in my marriage, as my husband grew very weary of the constant mess. 

 

My husband and I finally asked my mother to leave as we tried for years to clean up her living environment.  When we couldn't get a handle on it, we had to take the next step. 

 

My mother was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis at the beginning of this year.  And although that condition is not caused from an unclean environment, the allergy caused by the dust created an environment that became hazardous to my mother's health.  My mother's "things" were so precious to her that she didn't want to leave them behind.  As she shuffled her way through her stuff, preparing to move, her allergy to the dust increased. 

 

My mother became very sick the beginning of June, and died from lung complications at the end of June.  My family has mourned greatly for her loss. 

 

As my daughters and I were left cleaning her environment, we all experienced breathing issues.  Mine being the worst, sending me to the same pulmonologist that my mother went to.  As I suffered and struggled to breathe, I wondered if my mother would have changed in order to save me from this heartache.  I knew she didn't love her life more than her "stuff", but I wonder if she would have loved my life enough to change. 

 

My mother died because her lungs were compromised by her disease, and she did not have a fair chance to fight the acute situation that was caused from her cleaning efforts.  After her death, I had to struggle to heal, although my healthy lungs allowed me to overcome the dusty conditions 

 

My mother had just turned 71 two weeks before she died.  She died too young.  It is difficult for my family to come to terms with the fact that my mother's stuff was important enough to her that she would die for it. 

 

People do not realize that hoarding presents breathing problems for those who are exposed to such excess.  Whether it is cats...or stuff.  The dust, dirt and hair is excessive and lungs can only handle so much of all this.

 

My mother's pulmonologist says that breathing such dust is like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.  She also says that family members who are left cleaning up such mess will suffer breathing issues until the mess is gone. 

 

My family cries over this.  It is just plain sad. 

 

Life is meant to have a degree of balance.  And with hoarding...balance is absent. 

 
Read Replies to this Message
First | Prev | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Next | Last
 
Recent Shows: