Topic : Differing Sex Drives

I want to have  sex as much as he does. It seem are time is off.Plus I miss the little things he used to do.When we first got together he would take my earring out with his teeth.Man that would get thing excited .How can I get it back?  

I appreciate your understanding and support, but you don't understand. He didn't hear "no" and certainly didn't listen to it. He kept after me and simply demanded it until I gave in. I was just too tired of his hassling me to keep saying no. "No" meant nothing to him--It was like I didn't say it. At night I wasn't allowed to sleep until I had sex. During the day if he felt like sex I couldn't do anything else until I had sex. When I say it was a nightmare i wasn't exaggerating. I didn't even realize how bad it was until I was in a bar after work one Friday night and I told a friend that I didn't want to go home. He said, "So, call in sick." For the first time, I realized that my marriage was a job that I hated and had to show up for, but didn't want to. It was a couple of years later that I finally left him.  

No, I could never trust another man enough to get married again. I was much to afraid of getting into a situation like that again. Until I left him, I didn't realize just how oppressed and enslaved I felt. 

  I am wondering if there are any pregnant women out there, who feel really ugly, because of the MASSIVE LOAD they are carrying in the front, honestly, I haven't even seen my parts in months and forgot what they look like, and I have a hard time believing that my fiance stil finds me sexy. 

Does anyone, or has anyone felt the same?  When he met me, I was fit and active, I was at my goal weight and very attractive even by MY standards, which says a lot.  But now I feel awful.  I can't even get socks on anymore, but he's still trying to convince me that I am sexy. 

Please share your feelings about this. 

Thanks 

I believe that once you heal emotionally, you'll be able to make friends that are male.  And one day, if you feel like it, you may date.  Right now, you're still very scared and hurt by all that.  Which I cannot understand, being pretty much raped by a partner, I've never had anyone try to control me, because if they did once, I left, I wasn't afraid to be alone.  So I was comfotable setting everything by my rules. 

I think maybe you should do the same.  Live your life by your rules, and forget the others.  Have everything become yours and ALL yours.  Develop that sense of self and pride in knowing all what you have is yours, and no one helped you do it or gave it to you.  You worked hard for it.  And be proud of it.  It's very powerful to become very independent.  The only thing is that once (if) you decide to be with someone again, you'll have to learn to share, something I still have a problem with  haha. 

Good luck to you, you'll be fine. 

Hope I didn't step on your toes! 

I think that maybe, if your husband saw the birth, or your son, he might not view your body the same way anymore and it might frighten him off.  That your body has that amazing skill, and he may just see you as a mom now, not his wife.  My fiance was talking to his friends, and one recently had a child.  He told my guy, "Do you think you'll still go down after having the baby?"  My guy's like, "YEP!!!!"  His friend quickly responded, "No you won't, it's not the same anymore.  Not after you see what comes out.  You just remember that moment and you just can't anymore." 

Guys are very visual, and maybe he's still hung up on the birth, and maybe really stressed out about a new baby and his new role as a father, not just your husband. 

I suggest getting yourself in great condition, for yourself, you'll feel GREAT when you get fit, trust me, and simply talk to him, using the words, "I feel,"  instead of "You don't"  because those are threatening words, and if you tell him how you feel, you put the ownership on you for your feelings, you not accusing him, which is more threatening to guys. 

He'll  come around, but talk about it, you need to know where he's at, and he needs to know where you're at. 

Morning'  

Well I can understand how you feel.  I don't drink out of choice because it makes my life much more enjoyable and not crazy.  I can tell you by experience you can not make someone else quit drinking the choice has to be theirs.  I think you can definalty set up boundarys on what you will except and what you will not.  This dosen't mean life will get easier, but there are things out there that can help you, deal with the problems.  Today I life my life one day at a time, and try and keep things simple, and I try not to worry to much about tomorrow because I am not their yet.  I guess the best thing I can say is your not alone there are many people who deal with these problems, if you look for help you will find it.   

Smiles Sincerely 

Sherry