Topic : Differing Sex Drives

I was married for eight years to a man who wanted sex constantly. He wanted it every time he saw me and I am not exaggerating. He  wanted it when I woke up, when we went to bed, when I changed clothes, and in between. He wanted it when I was sick, and once he even insisted after a trip to the beach when I was burned all over my body. I never understood it and did not know how to deal with it. I tried talking to him and he simply didn't hear me. I tried going to marriage counseling, and the "counselor" determined that I was frigid and didn't like sex.  

I felt like a piece of meat and totally unloved. I dealt with it in not a good way--I had an affair for the last four years of marriage with a man who made me feel loved. I came from a family where divorce was not an option and you stayed with the man you married. 

 Finally, when there was no dimunition of his sex drive after years and years and he started asking me to shave my "bush" like the girls in Playboy I simply gave up and left him. I got a divorce and was never able to get married again. I couldn't trust a man enough to give him power over  me. The whole relationship was a nightmare to me and I have never gotten over it even though I got a divorce 30 years ago.  Before our wedding he acted quite normal and it seemed that as soon as I married him I became a piece of property.  

I assume that there are other women out there who had this experience. Have you ever been told why they act like this? I have no clue why a man would demand--and he did demand--sex several times a day for years on end and never, ever, be satisfied. It is so frustrating not to be able to satisfy a lover no matter what you do. As soon as you have sex, he wants to have sex again and nothing is ever enough. What is wrong with this picture? 

This is my Theory - God made man so that he would have the sex drive to populate the world.  But he screwed up.  He forgot that there was going to be more than one man.  So each man on Earth has the sex drive to populate the whole entire world and we can not keep up. 

My problem is probably different than most women. My husband just won't come on and have sex.  He has to make sure I have an orgasm as well and will not give up until I have one!  EVERY TIME we have sex.  Now I admit - a lot of you are going, wah! wah! poor baby.  But really when I am only in the mood for a week out of the month and the rest of the time, could care less. This is a real burden!  

What do you think?  

I don't know what happened in my case, because my husband doesn't want sex at all.  He was fine until I got pregnant with our daughter.  Ever since then, he wants nothing to do with it.  We are lucky to have sex once every six months.  So for all you ladies who complain about your husbands wanting sex all the time; be thankful!!  I feel A-sexual at times.  I have asked him time and again what the problem is, and of course it is me, and the fact that I have gained a little weight since our daughter was born.  Even when I lose weight, he uses that excuse.   

What would you do? 

Honestly, I think it is easier for him to blame you for him looking at porn, but I think even if you gave it to him every day, he would still look at porn. 

I always thought men had the greater sex drive. I am in my second marriage. My husband is 13 years younger than me. He tells me that he doesn't "think" about sex. It doesn't occur to him. I find this has eroded my self esteem to a low. I am insecure being that much older than him to begin with. I did not see this coming. We were separated for a time when we were first married due to work in another country. Now he has been back for a year and I am totally stressed and frustrated. I have tried and tried to explain that I NEED this physical love besides the affection of kisses and hugs. It has put me into therapy for depression. I think the more he stone-walls this, the worse I get in wishing we had something more than maybe once a month. I have tried the different angles ... suggesting to downright asking. He insists that he is attracted to me and I don't suspect him having an affair. I am really just heart broken and wonder what my future will hold with a man who loves with hugs and kisses.  

     Yup!  The more you give him the more he wants.  I am having this problem as well.  My guess is they act like this because they can.  Spoiled rotten brats is what they are.  They have obviously lacked the ability to control themselves for quite a while and feel no need to because no one has been able to make them.  I believe they feel entitled to sex from thier wives, as if it is our purpose in a relationship, and that indicates a sickening disreqard for women in my book.  I am sure that it probably had little to do with you satisfying him or he wouldn't of tormented you so often.  I think it was more a lack of repect and control.  Like a little kid who is allowed to eat all the candy he wants and has come to expect it.  Sounds like he needs his butt spanked to me.   

What disturbed me about your entry, however, was that he "demanded" it.  My husband once made me tell him no five time and that is exactly how many nights he spent at his mothers.  Now, he is convinced with one "no!".   

I am glad you left him but I really wish that you didn't feel like you could never marry again.  The way I see it is that you have paid your dues and you deserve another chance.