Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Girlfriend, sorry, if he has no sex drive now believe me he will not have one later. Remember it decreases with age. I have been married for almost 5 yrs. feel like 60, my husband can go weeks on end without a kiss or sex. I get a friendship hug. a kiss on the cheek and sometimes I may get his attention enough to cuddle very briefly. I on the other hand is very passionate about making love, but no deal here. So what you got is what you going to get.

You are still young even if you have to end the relationship it will be for the best. Because if you marry him you will feel more lonely than as if you alone. Follow your heart and do not get caught up in your emtotions, like we do so many times in our life.

Join the crowd, you are not alone in this. Oprah has a message board "Sexless Marriage" .  My hubby loves me very, we have not children at home, he is 45 I am 50 and he could careless about sex. He has no passion for it and seldmon puts anything into making (trying) to make it passionate. For whatever reason, he has no drive. He claims when he was younger, he was a ladies man, it is hard for me to believe. I have did the crying, talking, pleading, sleep in the bare. He will sleep in another room and he does not mean anything about it. If anyone saw us they would think our marriage was perfect. I dress like a diva, he is 6'2" dark and looks great in a suit. Honey, we went on a cruise and no action. Flew to the Bahamas and no action. NONE! So you are not alone, read Oprah's Board. I have been told that if I wanted to see someone else, it would be ok.

Join the group. Why in the sausage ham sandwich we manage the pick the very partner that we would not have give a second chance to if we were not married to them. How did we end up being with lovers that cannot satifsy us? I mean struck for life. Welcome, on board, back at you from VA, I had the greatest sex life before I married. Romance, whats that? I am just trying to get him in a good night of passion longer than 5 minutes. Please, forbid, I try to add romance. I am 50, he 45, we have been married for 5 yrs. feel like 60, I say 60 because I just attended a 50th anniversary and the couple still looked hot for each other. Man, I could kick myself.  I try not to think about it. I have did the pleading, crying, talking, all for nothing, I have permission to go and get a lover. Yea, right. I do not work so I know what side my bread is being buttered on. I wish they had some faces to put on here, the sad face would be here, but other than my sex, LIfe is great, thinking about going on a cruise ALONE!

My husband's sex drive began to decrease just before we got married in 1993, he was 26.  I figured it was the stress of possible redundancy, the wedding, building our house.  He is and always has been a very active man, never sits down always doing something. He used to run marathons. He coaches our son's football team, plays for hours with my son in the yard, does housework, gardening, the list goes on...when it comes to sex, he could care less.  He says he just never feels like it because he is tired. 

 I organize to have the children sleep away for the night and he wouldn't even think of sex.  I slept in the nude for 10 years and he rarely thought of having sex, so I stopped (thought he might get the urge from not seeing me naked - I know but I had to try...).  I have tried pretty well everything, tried showering him with affection, instigating sex  (I now almost have a panic attack if I try to instigate for fear of rejection) I have tried turning him down when he wanted sex in the hope that he might want more of what he can't have.  I mean he takes a rain-check if I offer no strings attached oral sex and is yet to ask for one.

His sex drive has got less and less with each year.  We now only have sex once ever 6-8 weeks.  I have talked about it many times and he manages to make me feel like a shallow bitch for being unsatisfied with my lot in life.  I have thought about an affair but with two young children that is not something I would do.  I walk most days for 6km (very briskly) and find that I work my frustrations out walking.  I have spoken to him about maintaining a connection, sharing intimate time, being a couple but he really doesn't seem to care.  I told him that many couples divorce once the children leave home because they are complete strangers, I can see that happening to us but he doesn't seem to care.

I really feel very guilty that I am not happy with my life, he is great in every other area of our life. I wish that I could move on from this but I can't.  I spend most of my time holding down the hurt and rejection I feel and trying to get on with my life and enjoy my children.  Sometimes I look at him and I feel like I hate him.  I keep thinking that if he had cancer or something and he could not have sex would I feel like this towards him?

I find it very hard these days to orgasm because I spend all my time holding all this stuff down that I just can't relax and get in the mood.  Also because we rarely have sex he doesn't last very long.  I mean I don't even bother to fake an orgasm these days - the last thing I want him to do is think that I enjoyed it if I didn't.  He doesn't even care if I am not satisfied.  Hey, if I am lucky I will go though menopause in 10 years and my sex drive will decrease!!

I am a 33 year old Scorpio female, and if you are into astrology, you know that Scorpios are high sexed, passionate, affecionate, freaky people.  I just was recently married in November 2005, and if I can get sex twice a week than it is a blessing.  He feels that a relationship is just not based on sex, which it is not, but come on, I at least need if at least 4 times a week.  It is not like I changed, he knew that I was like this before we were married.  He told me that he was like myself also.   

You see, that we did not have sex before we were married, because if we did and I know this, to be honest, I do not think that I would married this man.  To me, sex is energy, and I am not getting tyhe energy that I need.  I am ready to pack up.