Hi guys,
I would like some advice on something that's going on with me and my boyfriend. We've been dating on and off for about 4 years, break up--get back together, that sort of thing. We both claim that "something" keeps pulling us back to each other. Well, this last time together, it's been over 5 months now, we talk more or at least we use to. about 3 months ago he was having problems staying hard. He'd be hard during foreplay but as soon as he was about to enter it would go down. This happened twice and I asked him if he was still attracted to me and such and he still constantly reassures me that he is. Also, prior to this issue, we were talking about having a baby and stuff. Well, during a random conversation I made some reference to "the next time we're together" and he blurts out that he thinks that he's just not going to have sex anymore. He says he's thought about it and tried to figure all the reasons why it would be happening and came to the conclusion that sex is simply something we shouldn't be doing anyway...as it's not pleasant in God's eyes. So, as a result I feel hurt, slighted and just done wrong. He didn't even discuss any of this with me. But for me to dispute this, makes me look like some jezebel that's hard up for sex rather than a partner that feels neglected. I've expressed to him how when we had sex, it made me feel more appealing but he just sits and looks at me like..."oh, ok." What I'm wondering is how deep should I take this? Does this just shine a light on the fact that we have some serious communication issues? Should I even be hurt by this? Should I respect his wishes and just wait until he feels ready to marry me someday? And what happens if we get married and still have this problem. I could actually wait it out with him but my issue is more with the fact that we simply don't talk anymore. He's so to himself and gets so defensive the minute it seems like the conversation is leading towards sex. He also feels like he's leaning on this "holy roller" persona and using it as a crutch. Don't get me wrong, I love God and I'm trying to strengthen my relationship with him but something about this feels all wrong.