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Topic : 01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Number of Replies: 158
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Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 05:01:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil’s guests are going about their New Year’s resolutions the wrong way! They each resolve to change something about their partner. Luca says it’s time his wife, Karen, started losing her baby weight now that two whole months have passed since she gave birth to their son. Karen says she just had her third cesarean section and Luca should cut her some slack! Then, Elena says her husband, Wade, has been holding onto his loud, stinky beast for far too long and 2007 is the year he needs to “send it to the factory.” Wade says he’s just an “old country boy” and there’s no way he’s getting rid of his favorite sidekick. Next, Britney says her sorority sister, Sharnetta, is chronically late everywhere she goes and has even started making Britney late! What is behind her punctuality problem, and will Sharnetta be able to get to the airport in time to be on the show? Plus, tune in for a chocoholic who can’t lick her habit, and a marriage proposal ultimatum. Join the discussion, tell us what you want this year!

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January 4, 2007, 7:41 am CST

Oh the Irony!

I also had a C-section in 2006.  Even before I got pregnant I wasn't a skinny minnie (I'm not circus lady fat either)  My sweet husband has never said a dispariging word about my appearance, by that same token he owns a 1977 Ford pickup that is doody brown and LOUD, he likes to drive it sometimes and I have never insulted his truck.  Actually it makes me happy when I hear him coming from 3 blocks away because I know he will be home soon. 

 

P.S. we are a long term couple, not newley weds!!

 
January 4, 2007, 7:59 am CST

I agree Karen looks Great!

I agree Karen looks GREAT!  and ESPECIALLY 2 months after having a baby!   LUCA, YOU BETTER LISTEN UP!  otherwise when that little baby starts kindergarden... You might be SURPRIZED to find DIVORCE PAPERS in your mailbox.   Women are dependent when they have little babies that need something every 2 to 3 hrs.  BUT when those kids become independent.... SHE WON'T PUT UP WITH IT!

 

WOMEN ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO CRITICISM ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.  ESPECIALLY FROM THE MOUTH OF THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.  Karen may be smiling and seemingly happy on the show today, but I know her heart is hurting because of all those NASTY COMMENTS you make to her.  Women don't take those comments like guys.  Guys laugh and roll it off.  Women take it personally and to heart.  AND YOUR COMMENTS PROBABLY MAKE HER SAY WHY TRY?  and YOU make it worse.

 

EDUCATION LUCA:  10 of those pounds are PREGNANCY WATER WEIGHT that will fall off by itself.    Just FYI.   So that makes it only 15 pounds which isn't alot... actually compared to most everyone is pretty  #$%^&*  GOOD!

 

A COUPLE DOZEN ROSES PROBABLY WON'T BE enough to make up for all your comments...

 

DR. PHIL HOW COME LUCA DIDN'T GET A FEW DAYS ALONE WITH THE KIDS and KAREN A DAY AT THE SPA????????????????????????????????  HIS NASTY MOUTH DEFINATELY DESERVES A FEW DAYS  ALONE WITH THE KIDS.........

 

 
January 4, 2007, 8:12 am CST

Stinky Old Truck

I have never figured out why some women think that once they marry a man that the man should have nothing of his own, such as the truck, his chair, or his space.  She has to have every thing her way or she just won't quit harping about it.  In this case this woman has harped so much that she has the kids brainwashed to her way of thinking.  Mom and kids worry to much about what others think and need to start thinking for themselves, quit being snobs.  Trucks can be cleaned a deorderized.  Infact, from the pictures of the truck shown on the show, it really wasn't all that bad looking truck.  Yes, it has paint peeling but that can be fixed by painting the truck.  New does not mean it is better.  Why did the woman marry the man in the first place if she is so bond and determined to whipe out any sign of his existance.  My husband has a 1974 Chevy pickup and it has alot of rust and holes, but it runs and is used for all those jobs he doesn't want to do with his 1981 Chevy pick up because it has been customized some.  But both vehicles are used and I wouldn't dream of trying to make him get rid of his trucks.  I have a van to drive if I want to go anywhere or don't need the use of a truck.  Men need their things and they need an area that they can keep their things.  So this particular woman and other women like her need to lighten up about their partners possessions and get over their controlling selves.  Really that is what the problem is the women want to all the control over everything and everybody in the house.  The kids need get over themselves also, because men have rights too.

 
January 4, 2007, 8:16 am CST

Careful about throwing the "step person" label around.

Quote From: fabof3

Yes, you go girl!! 

I want to respond to Genny2 also You want to sit there and complain about your stepson this is awful.  This should really not be your problem.  Perhaps he does not want to be raised by a feeling less overweight smoker who doesnt want to believe anyone could possibly have it worse than yourself.  You seem to be resentful of this boy for whatever reason; I would have to agree with your HUSBANDS CHILD on this, I would not want to live with you either.  You say your little girl is the light of your life??  Ok, I get that but why is the other 2 your grown child and your HUSBANDS child not in that equation.  I have 2 step children, they are wonderful, I have 3 of my own and I love them differently yes, but in no way would I choose one over the other... that is just wrong. 

I think you should have some empathy here for this young man. YOU HAVE BEEN THERE YOURSELF, perhaps you are just as I said too stuck in your own pain to recognize that this child HAS THE RIGHT TO HURT FOR HIS MOTHER who I am sure loved him very much and would never allow anyone to blame him for bad behaviors due to a PAINFUL DEATH.  I am so angry with your statements AND YOUR BEHAVIOR WHAT CAN YOUR HUSBAND CHILD BLAME THAT ON? YOU NEED TO GROW UP AND REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS CHILD THE LAST THING HE NEEDS IN HIS LIFE AT THIS POINT IS A SELF SERVING, NEGATIVE, HATEFUL, RESENTFUL ( I can go on)  STEP PERSON (I dont even want to use the term step parent you have not earned it in my book!!)  I HOPE HE CAN GET WHAT HE NEEDS FROM HIS AUNT!! CLEARLY YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF GIVING HIM ANYTHING WORTH WHILE AT THIS TIME.Dr. Phil needs to kick your butt!!  You ought to be ashamed of yourself for pouting and whining about your pitiful life you have made choices and they have landed you right where you are!!  On a kinder note I think it is good you are asking for help, although it should be for YOU not your HUSBANDS CHILD.

You may find that you earned it yourself.  I am sure you could have found constructive ways to tell someone you think her focus is in the wrong place.  And it is a very good idea, as well.  There is no one who never acts in a selfish matter.  Would you want to be told you were a bad person or even a "non-person" instead of being told you made a bad decision?

 

 
January 4, 2007, 9:10 am CST

sorry

Quote From: the_unknown

You may find that you earned it yourself.  I am sure you could have found constructive ways to tell someone you think her focus is in the wrong place.  And it is a very good idea, as well.  There is no one who never acts in a selfish matter.  Would you want to be told you were a bad person or even a "non-person" instead of being told you made a bad decision?

 

Sorry, to offend you and Genny2... you are right I should not call names and insult. That is not nice behavior.  You are absolutely 100% right. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!!  I will stop, I wont let it happen again... I really am better than that, I did post another right before this... so sorry for that ahead of time!! 

I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around it...I don’t think messing with a Childs life can be dismissed as a bad decision!!!    I am sure that I have never and will never EARN anything like this, I don’t think any of us EARNS OR DESERVES BAD THINGS THAT WE my have to endure, think or feel... BUT if in fact I ever do...I will not blame a CHILD!! I don’t think she "deserves" this life I think it is a matter of choice for her. I do know that God Loves US BOTH, I am sure he will work it for good in that young mans life...

 

 
January 4, 2007, 9:37 am CST

Agreed

Quote From: gwarrior6

This is just a suggestion, so take it or leave it.  I think your stepson is still grieving for his mom.  You can't put a time limit on grieving.  It's not a good idea to discipline him for his bad behavior-leave that to his dad.  You have to understand that he just experienced a major loss in his life and doesn't know how to cope with it.  Since he's a minor, it makes it even harder for him to accept.

The more you harp on how he should "get over it", the more he's going to resent you.  Stand back, let him grieve, and listen to him if he wants to talk to you.  Try to get his aunt to visit as much as she can (when she's not on the road).  Also, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get him some counseling and let his dad take him to visit his mom's grave when he wants, and encourage talk about his mom.  Just a thought.

I agree.  You need to let him grieve in his very own way.  Whatever it may be.  Counselling is probably best.  Just be there to listen and understand.  It may take some time, more time than you think it should.  But it's not up to you....

 
January 4, 2007, 10:15 am CST

dont wait for him to be ready

Sherry you can not wait on him to be ready. He's not gonna be. My grandma used to say "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

You should move out of your shared house. You don't have to lose him, but you don't have to live with him either. Make him live alone. Make him take you out on dates if he want to spend time with you. And DON"T ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE when he calls. Show him what he's missing. Make him want you more by NOT being at his every beckon call.

If he still dosent want to marry yo, Hey you'll be a single girl with your own pad, and you can find someone who IS ready to commit.

good luck

 
January 4, 2007, 11:13 am CST

Luca needed a bigger wake up call

What a jerk! I can't believe how horribly he treats his wife! I can't believe she kept making babies with someone who would treat her so poorly. ugh!
 
January 4, 2007, 11:29 am CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

wow this is a very good topic dr phil, it seems to be a topic that we can all get in on in real life,as for me, i would say i will try with all my heart to read peoples posts with a open mind and keep in mind many people are reaching out for help in some way or another, i will keep all my smart ass remarks to my self and not post them back to fellow posters,i will remember there are real people at the other end of my posts who as i have very real feelings, and i will do my very best not to hurt the feelings of such people who may be reading what i post,if any one post to me asking for help  in any way i will do my very best to assist them in every way technology of today will allow,if i cant assist them ill try to direct them to some one who may be able to, i think this will be a good start for me this 2007 great year.
 
January 4, 2007, 12:10 pm CST

"Bad decision" wasn't meant to dismiss the action.

Quote From: fabof3

Sorry, to offend you and Genny2... you are right I should not call names and insult. That is not nice behavior.  You are absolutely 100% right. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!!  I will stop, I wont let it happen again... I really am better than that, I did post another right before this... so sorry for that ahead of time!! 

I just cant seem to wrap my brain around it...I dont think messing with a Childs life can be dismissed as a bad decision!!!    I am sure that I have never and will never EARN anything like this, I dont think any of us EARNS OR DESERVES BAD THINGS THAT WE my have to endure, think or feel... BUT if in fact I ever do...I will not blame a CHILD!! I dont think she "deserves" this life I think it is a matter of choice for her. I do know that God Loves US BOTH, I am sure he will work it for good in that young mans life...

 

It was meant to give a perspective.  I do not believe that she acted out of malice or that she wants to hurt her step-son.  It is a "bad decision" because she sees herself as trying to stop inappropriate behavior while not noticing that the grieving process is different for everyone.

 

 

 
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