Message Boards

Topic : 06/11 Mega Moochers

Number of Replies: 270
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:50:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/10/07) Dr. Phil takes on a different kind of moocher … the Mega Moocher! Not only do these extreme freeloaders refuse to work -- decades at a time -- but they expect you to support them and their entire family forever! Connie says her 33-year-old son, Richard, is so lazy and selfish that he actually found a way to put her out of her own home, so he could move his family of five in. Connie and her husband, Rick, say they have paid over $30,000 in the last 18 months to support Richard, and they have had enough. Is an eviction the only way to get him out? And can Connie live with the guilt, knowing it could leave her three grandchildren homeless as well? Then, Janelle wants her brother, Jeff, to stop mooching off their 91-year-old grandfather, who has been supporting him for 18 years. Jeff says he has no need to work because he doesn’t have kids. Will this be the day these guests put an end to their family members’ freeloading ways? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

More June 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 6, 2007, 6:39 am CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

Dr.Phil

       I also have a 31 year old son that has mooched off his DAD AND i SENCE HE WAS 16, WE ARE BOTH TIRED OF HIM USING  US AND WE HAVE TOLD HIM AS MUCH, BUT HE KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE AND WE ARE LIKE THE ONE WE DON'T WANT TO SEE OUR GRANDDAUGHTER LIVE IN THE STREETS. HOW DOES ONE STOP? BY THE WAY I LOVE YOUR SHOW AND I WATCH IT AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT MY DISABLE HUSBAND AND I TAKE CARE OF MY 90 YEAR OLD FATHER THAT HAD A STROKE IN 2003. HE CAN'T TALK OR WALK. SO I DO EVERYTHING CAUSE MY HUSBAND ALSO HAD A BRAIN TUMOR REMOVED IN 1982  AND IT AFFECT HIS WALKING ALSO. SO MUCH FOR THAT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP WITH OUR SON. PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. THANK YOU LOVE TO  YOU AND ALSO ROBIN I LOVE HER TO PIECES. I HAVE HER BOOK WONDERFUL SO FOR.

                                           SINCERELY

                                                  LINDA LOU S.

 
January 6, 2007, 6:47 am CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

I wonder how he managed to evict his Mother out of her own home ?  Wow, that's horrid.

But why do we keep revisiting these useless creatures ( the Moochers I mean ), the answer is too easy, get them out of your life.  DNA means nothing, sharing a last name, nothing  if you allow it, it will happen.

I have in laws like this, they haven't spoken to myself or my husband for three years, since his father passed, why ? Quite simple, we WILL NOT support them or their kids, we watched helplessly as they DRAINED my FIL financially and emotionally, at 72, he was put in a position that he was raising four more kids, who themselves were brought up to think the world revolved around them.  Now the only one they speak to is my one BIL who can and WILL support them, and raise their kids for them, do I feel sorry for him, a resounding NO, that is his CHOICE.

As guilty as she will feel, Grandma has to get them OUT of her home, they will be forced to either Get a JOB, or lose their kids, her DIL I wonder is she just as useless, or is she supporting the lump she married ?

Yes we will ALWAYS be their parents, but there comes a day where we HAVE to let them fly on their own, not pick up their messes, be there as support and a shoulder, but ultimitly, they HAVE to learn to clean up after themselves, 18 okay boarderline adult, but 33, come on.  But one thing I have seen, is that these parents are getting something out of this, or they've been buying their kids their whole lives, but think about this, what happens when the gravy train DIES ? It will happen, and then these people are left with NOTHING, and no one to look after them, hmmmm, maybe they'll be lucky enough to have a brother that will clean up for them.

 
January 6, 2007, 8:40 am CST

Mega Moochers

Boy do I know one of those.  I have a son in law who has been mooching off his mother all his life.  He works periodically, more for a hobby, than to support himself.  My daughter has been with him for almost 3 years and he has not worked a single day.  He talked his mother into paying for mechanic school, which took 1 1/2 years to complete. He has been out since August , graduating top of his class, and still does not have a job.  According to him, the only job he could find was changing oil at Jiffy lube.  Not only did she pay for school, but she bought him a house to live in, and pays all his bills, including buying him a new car, along with several expensive toys.  He will "buy" expensive gifts for my daughter and she will tell everyone they are from him, when we all know that he did not pay for them.  The worst part is that I have a granddaughter who is not his biologically, but she calls him daddy.  He hangs out at home all day while my daughter goes to work and takes care of her daughter and the house. 

It is hard to have any respect for a 37 year old man who has done this all his life.  It is even harder to watch my daughter live with this man, and make excuses for him.  He comes off as being very clean cut, and mild mannored, but I feel like he is a time bomb waiting to go off.

Not my life, right?

 

 
January 6, 2007, 8:55 am CST

we know this

we have a few family members that wont get jobs also, we try to help but how far do u go. 1 gets jobs but then quits shortly after, some have ligit reasons & i wish he could find a job he loves & would stick with. i have noticed that both of the people i am talking about have problems with jobs, money, & other things. i have kinda done research kinda surveyed people with same symptoms & found all of them have alot in common & if they could get the right kind if help maybe it would change their outlook on life. it is causeing stress & financial problems for us now & they still cant see it cause they think we have money to spare. we have had alot of things come up in the past year that took us down in more than money ways. we had a grandchild that did not make it & that tore us up.  we have tried to help our other son, he's the type to try to do all himself. we even paid 1 of his bills annon & he finally found out,& was surprised how i could do that.  at least he's tried to help himself, he's self sufficient except that gaming is more important sometimes than other bills, he pays bills but he owes us too & that gets set aside from paying. he has a good job but too many bills to cover them, along with having to let their baby go after so long.  we wishthe now society would see that things change & you need a back up plan just in case. thank u for your time. mary
 
January 6, 2007, 11:47 am CST

Mega Moochers

My sister always accused me of being a Moocher.  But it is funny since she is the one who stole money form my grandmother, and didn't do anything to help me when our mother was dying of lung cancer.  My sister didn't and doesn't realize that it gas in my car that I HAD purchased to take MOM back and forth to her chemo treatments three days a week, after working 11pm-7am.  shft. I know that there are other people out there who MOOCH off of realtives forever and ever, and never work a day in their lives.  My question is what do they do if they get seriously sick, and end up in the hospital?  I hope they don't expect MOM and DAD to bail them out of the bill.
 
January 6, 2007, 12:29 pm CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

I can't imagine this... at 19 I moved back in w/ my parents...because my mom had cancer and needed help or believe me I'd have stayed on my own. This is rediculous
 
January 6, 2007, 12:58 pm CST

moochers

My son arrived at my door step from British Columbia at christmas a few years ago with a family of three and one on the way.  It was to be a short stay he said. However they were still here in June. My heat, hydro, gas and food expenses went up . I was already working four different jobs  struggling to keep up with the costs, then items started coming up missing. I tried to help him find a job and found that he wasnt really looking and faked a few jobs. Therefore my investment of gas money and use of my vehicle came up empty and deeper in debt. Being at my ropes end , I told him  he had to leave because I couldnt trust him. Twice he came back stating he had a job. His girlfriend then was  eight months pregnant also did have income from the human resources but did not share in the household expenses and complained that she had to do the dishes. July 31, was the deadline for my sons family to move out . Pregnant or not pregnant. They had to find a place to stay. She stayed at a motel, funded by welfare until she found a rental place which I gave a reference for. They moved into the basement apartment. My son and his girlfriend, were separated. Do I regret kicking them out , no. She has her resources and does well without my help. He has moved on to another girl. To date he is supposed to be training for a job and is planning to get married to another girl in FEbruary. If the individuals have the ability to move in and mooch , they have the ablitity to move out and find a way to support themselves under the watchful eye of the childrens Aid society, and mine. Occassionaly I will still help in an emergency and only if I can or want to.  Our family are just  human individuals who have different ideals than ours and for us to make choices for them just hinders them.

I asked my grandchildrens mother how she felt about me kicking her out  at the time I did and she said she was glad she finally could move on.

 
January 6, 2007, 1:32 pm CST

Yes! Very similar situation here!

Boy this is a show I have to watch!  I was going to sit down to write Dr. Phil a letter when I came to this website and then I saw that this show would be on...my deadbeat stepdaughter is back living with us again, 7 months this time so far.  She doesn't pay us a dime and blows her money on ... who knows?  We've spent a lot of money so far to save her car from being repossessed (and it's about to happen again) and paid for her lawyer to keep custody of our little grandson.  We're supporting our grandson--who is the reason we are putting up with this.  He has special needs, we have paid for evaluations by developmental pediatricians and psychologists. 

 

This stepdaughter moved in with us originally in April, 2004 when our grandson was just 2 mos old.  Stepdaughter claimed her boyfriend was abusing her so I pressed hubby to let her move in.  He was very reluctant because of past problems with this girl (stealing, lying, getting into trouble on the internet) but for the sake of the baby agreed.  Well, a year later we we at our wits' end.  She's a neglectful careless mom, got picked up by the cops for disorderly conduct and providing alcohol to minors, got fired, was stealing our money, etc etc etc and my husband finally said GET OUT. 

 

Our grandson suffered the year they were gone.  When she was kicked out, he was 14 mos old, was beginning to walk, talk and stuff like that.  She was homeless, lived with a friend, got kicked out, moved back w/old boyfriend, got kicked out & left her son behind, and lived with her aunt & uncle a year--they kicked her out in May of this year.  Then she came back to us. 

 

When our grandson returned to us, he'd stopped speaking.  Evaluators have told us it's like he is 14 mos old for speech skills and around 18 mos in all other areas.  The only area where he is on age level is fine motor skills--figure that one out! 

 

So we feel like we are stuck between a rock and a hard place!  :(

 
January 6, 2007, 5:34 pm CST

Moochers need to grow up!

 I have an ex-brother-in-law who is 50 and still lives at home.  He was married briefly and then moved back.  He has never held down a full-time job - but he's "got deals almost put together that will make him millions" all the time.  He has drained most of his siblings' willingness to loan him money.  He pays no room and board to Mom and Dad - who are in their late 70's - yet Mom does his laundry and cooks his meals.  Who knows how he pays his chiild support!  People like this absolutely sicken me and I really feel sorry for the family members who love these people so desperately that they continue to support them.  For the most part, they're terrified that their loved ones will end up homeless and yet they have to be kicked out tough-love style in order to learn how to stand on their own two feet.  The ones who need love and support through this process are the parents/siblings who are enabling the moochers.
 
January 6, 2007, 6:50 pm CST

reversal of roles...inlaw moochers

  My FIL lost his job over 2 years ago. When his unemployment ran out he started taking money from his 401K. We tried to tell him to get a job, he only had 3 years until he could collect partial social security. He refused to take a job at Home Depot or something like that, it was "not good enough for him". He worked on a line in a factory. He would not take factory work because he was "tired" of it. Needless to say for 2 years he did not even look for a job. His 401 ran out. Then he told us he needed to stay with us for a "month or two", until he could save money for a new apartment. With reservations, I agreed.

  He made our live hell for the last six months. He did not pay a dime to live here. We were supporting him, my MIL, and our two children. He would turn the heat up to 75 to 80 in our house. We informed him that the $200 + gas bills were getting to be too much for us to pay, he still continued to do what he wanted. He would leave lists of what he wanted me to buy for groceries, and certain kinds of soap and laundry detergent that was the "only kind he could use".

  Not only did he demand what he wanted and expect us to pay for it, but he was verbally abusive to myself and my 11 year old daughter. We were both called fat and lazy on a daily basis. My grocery, electric, gas and cable bill doubled. When we asked that he atleast buy some of his own groceries he said "I am having a hard time right now". His hard time is sinking my family both finaincially and emotionally.  When his son came home from  the military  he had to buy his own food and pay rent.

  Should I have to support my inlaws? It is hard enough to support our family of four. My husband works 2  jobs, and I work full time. He has yet to look for a place to live. We gave him the numbers for the senior center, telling him they can help find low income housing. He refuses to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV. My patience is at its end.

 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last