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Topic : 01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Number of Replies: 595
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:23:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Imagine waking up one morning and realizing that you’ve been living in the wrong body. That’s what Dr. Phil’s first guest says happened to her. Bernadette started dressing like a boy in high school. Now 37, she wants to be referred to as Cameron, and wants her breasts surgically removed. Cameron’s mom, Antoinette, and her aunts say she’s just angry, lost and confused. Will they ever accept her decision to become a man? Then, Sylvia’s 17-year-old daughter, Gwen, was murdered when a group of boys found out that she was one of them. The grieving mother weighs in on this important discussion. And, should a high school boy who dresses like a girl be allowed to use the girls’ bathroom? That’s the issue one Florida high school faced. The boy’s lawyer and two moms from the community engage in a heated debate. Plus, Jim and Linda’s 4-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, was born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, a condition where she looks like a female on the outside, but inside, she’s an underdeveloped male. Should the parents be forced to decide Kayleigh’s gender? Talk about the show here.

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January 13, 2007, 7:24 am CST

God Did Not Create Junk

I will be the first to say I don't understand . I don't believe God created any junk. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew us before the world began. Since I don't understand am I to ask for a new brain? It just dosen't seem right.
 
January 13, 2007, 10:25 am CST

changing gender

I am an alcohol/drug counselor who has been in the field for approximately 15 years.  I have worked in many inpatient residential and outpatient facilities.  I have even worked in an all male medium level prison for two years.  On several occasions I have come in contact with individuals who have wanted to change their gender, for whatever reasons.  In the prison setting there was no way the individual could physically make that change, however in one of the residential settings I had a client who had made many drastic changes as far as her gender was concerned.  Well, most of those decisions were made while she was "high" but after she got into tx she began to realize why she used and why she had rebelled against her parents concerning her gender change.  She was able to identify that making those changes were inadvertly directed at her parents as punishment.  They had wanted her to be a "good" girl, get a degree, make them grandparents, etc.; she felt no warmth or true concern from her parents and used these changes as a means of directly "hurting" them.  However, once she got clean and sober and worked on her "genuine" issues, she realized that having her breasts removed and a total hyster. had been in defiance to her parents.  At that time she was devastated because she could not go back and change those decisions; during recovery she realized that she really wanted to be a mother and to have a family, and that some of her goals in life were things that her parents would approve of.  When I read about the program where the girl will be on your show talking about her wanting to be a male, I remembered my former client.  I remember all of the physical and emotional trauma that she went through while mouthing the same things.  I feel true concern for this individual and her family and loved ones.  I pray that you will help her to explore all of her choices in this matter and that she has no "ulterior" motives. 
 
January 13, 2007, 10:52 am CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: nilysm47

I will be the first to say I don't understand . I don't believe God created any junk. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew us before the world began. Since I don't understand am I to ask for a new brain? It just dosen't seem right.

God did not create junk and does know us better than we know ourselves - you are extraordinarily correct! That does not mean we will know our neighbor better than they know themselves nor should we judge them do to lack of understanding.  The show is simply to provide perspectives and stories.  Maybe after watching you won't say "It just doesn't seem right." but rather fully understand that God created each and every one of us different - and at times, it looks like a "problem" until you see the whole picture.

I mean no offense at all.  I don't normally dress/feel like a man myself, but everyone has a purpose.. even if you don't understand or quite know what it is.  The people on these shows always touch SOMEONE's life and heart and that is what counts.

 
January 13, 2007, 12:27 pm CST

and ??? your point ???

Quote From: nilysm47

I will be the first to say I don't understand . I don't believe God created any junk. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew us before the world began. Since I don't understand am I to ask for a new brain? It just dosen't seem right.
 
January 13, 2007, 1:30 pm CST

changing gender

First intensive psychological examination is necessary!  There should be no familial coercion and all aspects of the physical, emotional and societial aspects explored and best and worst scenerios explored.  
 
January 13, 2007, 2:03 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: nilysm47

I will be the first to say I don't understand . I don't believe God created any junk. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew us before the world began. Since I don't understand am I to ask for a new brain? It just dosen't seem right.

From this line of reasoning, am I to assume if you had a faulty heart, you wouldn't get a new one?  If you had an extra toe on each foot you wouldn't have it removed?  What about hermaphroditic people, should they just deal with it, and never choose a gender because God made them that way?

Do you color you hair?  Wear make-up?  Wear clothes??

Some people are simply NOT going to be happy, functional people without making the changes necessary to be who they truly are inside.  For some people, this means changing gender.

 
January 13, 2007, 3:22 pm CST

Gender change "not a choice"

Quote From: lkelsom

I am an alcohol/drug counselor who has been in the field for approximately 15 years.  I have worked in many inpatient residential and outpatient facilities.  I have even worked in an all male medium level prison for two years.  On several occasions I have come in contact with individuals who have wanted to change their gender, for whatever reasons.  In the prison setting there was no way the individual could physically make that change, however in one of the residential settings I had a client who had made many drastic changes as far as her gender was concerned.  Well, most of those decisions were made while she was "high" but after she got into tx she began to realize why she used and why she had rebelled against her parents concerning her gender change.  She was able to identify that making those changes were inadvertly directed at her parents as punishment.  They had wanted her to be a "good" girl, get a degree, make them grandparents, etc.; she felt no warmth or true concern from her parents and used these changes as a means of directly "hurting" them.  However, once she got clean and sober and worked on her "genuine" issues, she realized that having her breasts removed and a total hyster. had been in defiance to her parents.  At that time she was devastated because she could not go back and change those decisions; during recovery she realized that she really wanted to be a mother and to have a family, and that some of her goals in life were things that her parents would approve of.  When I read about the program where the girl will be on your show talking about her wanting to be a male, I remembered my former client.  I remember all of the physical and emotional trauma that she went through while mouthing the same things.  I feel true concern for this individual and her family and loved ones.  I pray that you will help her to explore all of her choices in this matter and that she has no "ulterior" motives. 

I am a registered social worker and have worked in mental health, with addictions, famliy violence, as a sexual assault therapist and more for almost 20 years. I have had the privelege of supporitng a young individual who was born into the worng body. When I met this individual she was born into a female body and was at the beginning of her journey to acceptance. Over the past 8 years she has been given the support and recognition of the community where she lives including the police who have invited her to forums to help them understand the issues and to helop other organizations who support youth to understand the issues. She is simply not a confused person who is not dealing with the "real" issues. She is effectivly dealing with the REAL issue of her gender. I believe it is important for us to listen to youth, to really listen and hear their concerns being careful not to shame or blame them for being different. This takes courage for us to step outside of the box.

 

The youngster Kaeligh has the body of a boy trapped inside a girl. It sounds like the parents need counselling to come to terms with what this means. I beleieve if the child's gender is denied Kaleigh will have the feelings of a boy and these feelings will eventually surface. This is my opinion.

 
January 13, 2007, 4:01 pm CST

What makes a person a male/female?

In a recent course on human sexuality we debated the question of gender. When it was my turn to speak, I said, well when I had my babies I heard, "congrats it's a boy!" and for the second one, "congrats it's a girl!" For the most part it really is that simple. However, in more extreme situations what do you do when someone is born both? According to medicine, doctors encourage parents to choose the gender in which the child is biologically...hormones. In the same class we heard about a doctor in British Columbia who messed up a circumcision and then talked the parents into a gender change for the child. When the child grew up and found out that he was indeed a boy, he sued the doctor, hospital and I believe his parents and won. Talk about a life screwed up.  While choosing gender may seem 'confusing' for those never faced with the issue, wouldn't it be far worse to choose for your child and then find out that the decision you made was 'wrong'? When I was in Europe, I noticed that many cities just had 'bathrooms'. No gender was specified. While in Germany, I went to a public pool and the change room was for both genders.  Perhaps having a bathroom for both genders could/would solve many issues of what bathrooms to use. We now have 'family' bathrooms where any gender can enter. We also have handi cap bathrooms again gender neutral. Perhaps in public places we should have gender neutral bathrooms where both genders can enter freely. That would be wonderful for me since I have been known to sneak into the men's room (while my husband stands guard) during the intermission of a concert or play because the woman's bathroom line goes down the hall, around the corner and into the parking lot!

 
January 13, 2007, 4:59 pm CST

Gender Identity Crisis

  I watched the movie about Sylvia's son, "Gwen" & how tough his life was & what lead up to his murder. The life story was really tragic for all involved. I hope Dr. Phil's guests will get the help that they need.
 
January 13, 2007, 6:55 pm CST

I SUFFER THE SAME THING

I'M SAD THAT I CAN'T HAVE MY SURGERY BECAUSE IT COSTS SO MUCH AND BECAUSE OF MY HEALTH.  I HAVE HEART DISEASE AND ALSO AIDS.  THEY TOLD ME YEARS AGO BACK IN 1985 THAT I WOULD ONLY BE AROUND FOR THE MOST PART 2 YEARS. WHENEVER I TAKE MY SHOWER AND LOOK DOWN ON WHATS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AND TRY TO FANTASIZE ABOUT WHAT SHOULD BE THEY I'M OK.  I JUST CONTINUE GOING THROUGH DAY BY DAY AS A WOMAN.  I CONSIDER MY SELF A STRAIGHT FEMALE INSIDE A GAY MALE BODY.  THATS MY STORY. 
 
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